(Edited with anonymous help.)
She gazed sternly at her husband and her mother in law, both of whom sat grimly across the other end of the conservatory, having imparted their news, Laura rigidly composed herself, and impatiently brushing a loosened strand of auburn hair away from her oval face.
"So quite what is it that needs curing? Please do not refrain from explanation, I am quite curious."
Laura took in deep breaths, trying to frame her emotions into a mode of normality, so as not to give them further course for concern regarding her apparently 'fragile female nerves' as her dear husband, Mr Dwindle so gallantly explained.
Mr Dwindle looked at his dear shapeless mother with some fondness; Laura certainly didn't. Laura was satisfied to note that Mother Dwindle was so utterly amorphous in stature that her dress, excessively tailored by an old creature in the docks of London, appeared no better than a swag bag. Laura regarded her as unbecoming, this thought alone was a small consolation for the distress they were inflicting upon her.
Mother Dwindle allowed a small comma of a sneer to form as a crescent by her beefy nose, "Laura, we do care so dearly for you. You are my son's wife after all. However, your behaviour is quite unbearable."
Laura blinked furiously, "Oh?"
"Well yes, not once but twice has Hubert caught you with licentious texts, quite unforgivable readings for a young woman, and oh! Poor Hubert!"
Laura mockingly mimicked Mother Dwindle, "Poor Hubert?"
Mother Dwindles eyes fixed on Laura's, her disapproving gaze boring through Laura's jade-green eyes like furious steam, "My poor son has witnessed you performing acts upon your organs. Your writhing insomnia disturbs him, and it is apparent your wanton demands are in excess."
Laura looked at Mr Hubert Dwindle, he avoided looking back, staring instead past her shoulder.
Such cowardice Laura found unseemly, "Hubert. You chose your mother as the messenger for all of these concerns? I find that fascinating."
Hubert's cheeks and neck had flourished into sickening rouge, "Well, your behaviour is most abnormal, those horrible Japanese books that you keep with those octopuses ravishing women! Your insistences upon me are not those of a woman with integrity but whose essence is corrupt with vice, and I have made many attempts to reason with you, but you are drunk on yourself like a Dionysian witch."
Laura raised her eyebrows in humour as he spat out the latter insults.
"Hubert, seeing as you are quite content to have me committed, I suppose you have neglected to mention to your mother how you were able to afford your current lively lifestyle?"
Hubert shifted, his discomfort like scratchy tweed, he had certainly not told his mother.
"I have long humoured your independence, but I am afraid that your milk and your poison may be the same thing."
Mother Dwindle looked at Hubert, waiting for him to decipher this turn of conversation, "What does she mean Hubert? Has she been up to something?"
Hubert grasped the arms of the armchair, "Mother, as you and I know, Laura took the wild habits of her mother, who Laura has confided was a Celtic strumpet."
He pronounced the latter words with quivering dramatic effect. Mother Dwindle looked incredulously at Laura, who was beginning to feel heat caressing the long neck of her blouse.
Laura looked at Mother Dwindle squarely, "My mother as well as being a dear sweet lady who afforded for me the best private education, happened to have been an Irish woman fond of entertaining gentlemen and not so gentle men."
Mother Dwindle's voice was roused with histrionics, "And you too have taken these habits? What sort of offspring will you bear for Hubert if this is the kind of creature you are?"
Laura was getting quite tired with the whole conversation and wanted to rest, "I only wish to employ these habits with my husband, who unfortunately refuses to be recipient of my manoeuvres. Also, I am certainly a contributor to our marriage; Hubert has not told you that I write science and literacy books for children, as well as other published works that I care not to mention. They have sustained Hubert's modest salary as a clerk, without which we would certainly not be residing in Chelsea."
Mother Dwindle's face softened, her composure relaxed and she let out a sigh of relief. Laura supposed the hag was not so wicked.
Mother Dwindle looked at Hubert; she had long known her son to be somewhat without backbone, and his spirit was mild to say the least. She had always wondered what had compelled Laura into marrying him. She believed that it was no coincidence that Laura had married Hubert the year that Laura's mother had died, leaving Laura with no notable relative in England, and few respectable friends. Hubert of course, had been matched with his beautiful and lively wife when he met her under the terracotta arches of the recently built Natural History Museum. Mother Dwindle was never to be sure what had occurred, what possible dynamic could have tricked them into courtship. She believed that Laura had been blinded by her grief to Hubert's lacklustre character, whilst equally being mesmerised by his handsome exterior. She liked Laura, though she would never lower herself to tell her this, but the woman lacked self-control, and unlike Mother Dwindle herself in her youth, seemed to be fatally unable to suppress her animal wiles in favour of feminine composure. Such wiles were useless when a woman settled into her biological role as a mother and housekeeper.
She was sure that a spell in one of the modern asylums would be a great kindness to Laura. Perhaps they would alter her in some ways to make her more suitable for her thoroughly sober Hubert, who was in complete nerves over the antics of his wife.