The first time I saw her I was behind her in line at the coffee shop. She was so small: five feet tall or less and skinny, except for a cute full bum packed into tight pants.
When she got her coffee, she turned and saw me for the first time. She gasped and looked from my chest up to my face. She had the bluest eyes.
I shrugged my eyebrows apologetically. At six foot six and built like a tank, I was used such reactions. I knew I looked intimidating.
The next time I saw her was at the pub. I was with my rugby teammates, Dave and Ian, just like every Wednesday after our practice. We were joking and insulting each other as usual, but my attention was drawn to the girl. She sat a few tables away with friends, and she lit up the room.
Maybe it was because she was so petite, or maybe it was her face which was a mix of cuteness and mature beauty. But really, I think it was because she was so animated. While her friends talked calmly, this girl's hands flew, accompanied by exaggerated expressions and movements of her compact body.
I was walking back from the bathroom when she literally ran into me. She was looking back towards her friends and bounced right off me.
I managed to grab her arm before she fell on her ass.
"I'm very sorry," I said. "Are you okay?"
Again, she looked me up and down with wide eyes, then nodded hastily and darted past me to the washrooms.
My friends saw the whole thing.
"You need collision insurance, Jonas," said my friend Ian. "I hear Lloyds of London insures oil tankers. They might insure you too if you apply."
"You're hilarious. She wasn't watching where she was going. Guess I wasn't either, though."
"Her name's Beth." said Dave.
"You know her?"
"She works in my building. She's friends with Amanda. That's the blonde one sitting over there... remember her?"
I vaguely recalled seeing the blonde at a house party.
Dave said, "You two would make a lovely couple." They all laughed.
"Yeah," said Ian, "beauty and the beast. With her the beast."
"You guys aren't nearly as funny as you think," I said and sipped my beer. "And why would SHE be the beast? She's cute."
"I hear she has a really mean temper."
~~~~
I saw Beth at the coffee shop or on the street almost every day after that. She was hard not to notice. She had a lovely face and was so tiny, but with some width to her hips. As far as I could tell, she didn't have any tits at all. I idly wondered what that would look like.
She did seem unwelcoming, though. She always wore a guarded look. That is until she saw me. Each time she noticed me, her eyes widened and it seemed like she was stifling a gasp.
I tried to keep my distance so not to scare her even more.
~~~~
One week my teammates couldn't meet on Wednesday, so we decided to break tradition and go Friday. We had just sat down when Beth and her friends showed up.
Ian invited them to sit with us, so we pushed tables together and made introductions.
"...and Beth, this is Jonas the Wall."
She looked at Ian then at me. Again, she had that wide-eyed look. "Uh, your name is Jonas Wahl?" she asked.
"Ian's trying to be funny," I said. "No... my rugby nickname is 'Brick Wall'. You can probably guess why." I shrugged.
"Oh," said Beth. "Because you're so big."
"Right. And once someone on the other team said that's what it felt like they ran into after playing against me."
Beth sat down opposite me. "Rugby... that's like football, right?"
"They have a lot in common," I said, "but rugby isn't as... dainty. By the way, I don't think I apologized properly for nearly knocking you down that other night."
"It was my fault. I must have had too much to drink to not see someone as huge as you." Then she looked embarrassed, "Sorry."
I chuckled. "Nothing to be sorry for. When you're big, you always have to watch you're going."
"That's funny," she said. "It's the same when you're small. I'm used to getting stepped on. Or bashed around in crowds because people don't see me."
As we talked, Beth didn't seem mean at all. She was funny and informed, and it was fun watching how animated she got. Her hands flailed as a constant stream of emotions washing across her face as she talked: amazement, anger, disgust, happiness. It was almost exhausting to watch, and impossible for me not to emote right along with her. I found myself smiling when she did, lifting my eyebrows when hers did, scowling, shaking my head... everything in synchronicity with her.
At one point, Beth leaned across that table and said in my ear, "Our friends are laughing at us."
I glanced at them. They were all chatting and laughing and seemed to be ignoring Beth and me, but I had caught them looking at us and smirking several times.
"Yeah, sorry about that," I said. "My friends think it's hilarious anytime I'm with a girl smaller than a Sasquatch."
Beth nodded. "My friends do that too. Every time I talk to anyone taller than a garden gnome, I get endless jokes about hamsters dating elephants."
I chuckled. "Well, there's an image. I guess we do look pretty funny together. Of course, it would be ridiculous for people like us to be together."
"Yeah... ridiculous. Totally." She looked away and was silent.
~~~~
As the night progressed, our group got smaller as one by one our friends said their goodbyes. I was enjoying talking with Beth so much I didn't really notice until she and I were the only ones left.
She excused herself to find the bathroom, so I sipped beer and observed the growing crowd. I avoided the place on Fridays just for that reason: too crowded and too many drunken idiots.
When Beth had been gone a long time, I looked around. She was at the bathroom entrance, buttonholed by some guy blocking her way. Her arms were crossed, and she did not look happy.
I got up to see if she needed rescue. Then the guy said something and smiled at her smugly. Beth reared back and punched him in the face.
By the time I shouldered my way through the crowd, the bouncers were dragging the creep to the door as Beth waved her arms and screamed insults at him.
"Are you okay?"
"No, I'm pissed!" she spat. "Another guy who thinks I'm an easy target because I look like a little kid."
I walked her back to our table through the crowd. "You don't look like a little kid, Beth. What did he say that made you hit him?"
"He said, 'so little girl, want to suck on my lollipop.'"
"You should have kicked him in the nuts for that."
Beth grinned at me. "I was just thinking exactly the same thing."
"That was a powerful punch you threw there."
"It's all in the hips, baby," she said. "All in the hips."
~~~~
We decided it was time to leave. Outside the pub, it was a cool September evening. The usual drunks were milling around waiting to get in.
