Adam was already waiting for me at an upstairs table at the coffee shop we had agreed upon. Treacherously, I had a small knife hidden in the sleeve of my coat; not a weapon, a prop to help me make my point.
I set the knife down on the table, my palm obstructing his view of what it was. "I found this in my back a couple of months ago," I told him in a dry tone. "I thought you might want it back." I took my hand off the knife and put it in my pocket as I sat down.
His eye darted from my face to the knife and back. "Uh... is that what you came here to tell me?"
"No, but it had a nice effect, don't you think?" I smiled bitterly.
"You're making a big deal out of this, Em. I don't think I needed a visual aid." He was tall, thin, and handsome with slate blue eyes and brown hair that was soft and fine; not a strand was out of place. Adam put a lot of effort into looking nice, I could tell. He wanted me to want him, and I did. Desperately.
"First, you lead me on for months, then you dump me in an email because everyone thought we were a couple. You blamed me for the perception other people have of us," I spoke softly, but with a harsh tone. "Not only that, but I went to you for support when you know how hard it is for me to ask someone for help. You said you'd be there for me because you care for me, then you turn around and stab me in the back because you didn't feel like it. And the very next day, you don't even have the balls to sit me down and say to my face that you think I'm crazy and want me to go away."
"I don't think you're crazy."
"No, but you do think I'm obsessed, don't you? That I have an unhealthy fascination with you, simply because I asked you to be reasonable?"
"You said yourself that I'm all you think about. That sounds obsessed to me."
"And you're the expert because your mom's a therapist, aren't you? But you know what? Your father, the doctor of psychiatry would tell you that because I'm the one living in a world that holds to logic, I'm the sane one. Not you."
"I'm not saying you're not insane. Just that you need to not obsess over people."
I stared strait into his shockingly blue eyes. "I only wanted a reason why you didn't want to be with me. And when I told you that I think you're just afraid and that there is no real reason, you got pissed and decided that you can't be friends with someone who can see through you like that."
"Is this going any where?" His face turned from aghast to impatient, hiding that he was truly hurting and wanting to fix what had gone wrong, just as badly as I did.
"Yes. I have a solution that will make us both happy." My solution had been brewed in the wake of being stood up by the man with whom I had been having sex,(since Adam wasn't putting out -- it should be noted that Adam was visibly jealous of this other guy, but would never admit it), and by the idea that a nice hate-fuck would do us both some good.
