I stand on the sidewalk, butterflies in my stomach, nauseous with nerves and anticipation. The hotel entrance is behind me, a crowd bustling to and fro, seemingly mindless drones engaged in their mundane lives.
There is nothing mundane about today for me. My mind is a chaotic mess, a whirlwind of thoughts and possibilities. I squint into the sunlight, warmth on my face, a bead of sweat trickling down my forehead, perhaps from the heat, more likely from excited anxiety.
I'm early. A habit, fostered from a childhood of arriving late everywhere thanks to my disorganised parents. But today, it doesn't feel like a good thing. The wait just gives me time to overthink. This is the first time we are meeting. We have been talking for over a year. Completely committed to each other for over half of that.
But...but what if I'm a disappointment in the flesh? Do I look alright? I knew I should have worn the pink shirt. Why do I always second guess myself? Are my shoes OK? My hair? Fuck, did I brush my teeth?
I check my watch, instinctively calculating how long we have until our dinner reservation. Can't be late. I just want to treasure every precious moment we are going to have together.
Lost in panic-ridden overthinking I almost miss it. The moment. That moment. When she emerges from the crowd, as if floating. The crowd seems to part by itself, as if it knows that some heavenly creature is in it's presence. My heart stops; my mind empties; my fears fade. We are the only two people alive. The curtain rises and we are stood alone on a stage. Bathed in a spotlight that isolates us from any audience.
She smiles. That smile. The smile I have seen a thousand times. In photos, videos, FaceTime. But those mediums could never do that smile justice. I step towards her, nervous yet purposeful. Smiling back, my arms encircle her. That first touch. My mind is reeling as finally, I get to hold her in my arms. She fits perfectly. She buries her face into my shirt, and I feel her shoulder begin to shake. Raw emotion taking over, she sobs softly against my chest, as we savour this moment that neither of us will ever forget.
I kiss the top of her head, holding her tight, gently whispering the words I have said so many times but which have never been completely true until this moment; "it's alright baby, I'm here. Daddy's got you".
She looks up at me, that face that has appeared in my dreams every night, now only a few inches from mine. I wipe tears from her cheek, and she smiles again. "I can't believe we are finally here," she whispers, "I love you so much Daddy".
Her words crash against me like a wave against the cliffs, words we've said before, but now with more meaning than ever. "I love you too Babygirl," I respond, and I lean down to kiss her.
The butterflies are back. My stomach churning, and my eyes close instinctively. Our lips meet, softly, cautiously, and the world stops. Time has frozen and this perfect moment is all that remains.
Suddenly an urgency rises within us. Her arms wrap around my neck, and my hands hold her face gently. The kiss deepens, and we begin to devour one another, lips parting, tongues dancing.
Our breathing heavy, moaning into each other, this kiss breaks, and she breathes two words at me, full of want, thick with need, "the room?
