The night was a stormy one, as dark as the bottom of a deep well. The only break in the black sky outside my window was the flashes of lightning that lit up the entire area. The wind was a steady drone and the crash of the thunder sounds like explosions just outside......
"Damn, that really sucks." As I stand up from the computer and walk around the room. "Why the hell do I have such an impossible time describing something right in front of my eyes?" Looking back through the window I can see the storm that I can't describe. A black velvet sky made even more frightening by the occasional flashes of bright light from the lightning. The flashes only make the trees and surrounding land seem barren and dead. Giving the entire countryside the look of a neglected cemetery.
Pacing around the study I can't seem to capture the magic that filled me with my other writing. I couldn't seem to find the old inspiration. I refuse to believe it was her, how could it be. Amy was never very supportive of my writing, neither stories nor music. How could she be the thing that sparks me. She was the most beautiful woman I have ever laid eyes upon. I was happy for the first time in my adult life. The sex was incredible and she was always ready to play. Anything I wanted she seemed to know, and would do, without me even saying a word. Yet, the rest of the time we were together was difficult at best. I wasn't really what she wanted, I found this out the hard way. It seems that she spent as much time pleasing my friends and neighbors as me. Then one day she was just gone. I haven't written anything worth a shit since.
Finally after spending another night beating my head against the wall, I decided it was time for some sleep. Going upstairs to my bedroom, I can't help but admire this great old Victorian house. I love all the wood and stained glass. The wood for the interior was all from the forest around the house, the stained glass was all handmade. It had always been a great place to write and think. Now.....
One last look out the window into the night and I am taken by surprise. The moon peered at me from between the moving clouds. it was the only spot in the sky that wasn't black and barren. Right off the lower point of the crescent moon was one of the brightest stars that I had ever seen. I was given a necklace that looked just like this from a girl in school that was my first love. She was kind of a flower-child type and had a thought for everything that she did. She told me that this was what she saw when she looked at me. I never really understood, but I had never stopped wearing it since she gave it to me. She had lost her life when a drunk driver crossed the centerline and hit her little car. I loved her so much and I miss her every day. I have never told anyone about her, especially Amy, the one that just left. She would have considered her competition. Dead or alive.
Her name was Renee' but she liked to be called Sunshine, and that's what she was, the sunshine that brightened any day. I decided this was some kind of omen, and never being one to tempt fate I decided to play that little childish game...
"Starlight, star bright... first star I see tonight.... I wish I may, I wish I might...... have this wish I wish tonight.....," I finished the wish off with, "I wish I could find my inspiration again, I am lost without it...... I love you and miss you, Sunshine." When I lay down I felt very peaceful, despite the storm and my lousy life. I slipped off to sleep very quickly.
As much as I hated it, today was errand day. Time to shop and pay the bills. I went into town and took care of the payments and then went to the grocery. As I was shopping, someone kept getting my attention but they always seemed to be just turning the corner when I looked. When I got to the next aisle they were already gone. This feeling followed me all day. Everywhere I went I felt like I was being watched. Rather unnerving. The grocery, post office, gas station, drug store, bank, the feeling never left me. On my way out of the bank, of course not paying allot of attention. I run smack into someone on the sidewalk. Knocking her to the ground, packages everywhere. I had knocked down a beautiful young woman. All I can do is stare at her until she says, 'Don't just stand there asshole.' Like a slap in the face, I jump at her words.
"I am so sorry, I didn't see you.... I wasn't watching...... are you all right?"
"I think I'll be ok, only bruised my pride." She gets up as I start to pick up her packages, "Are you always a million miles away?"
"No and I really am sorry. I usually don't knock down people the first time I see them."
"I see, you only knock down your friends?"
I pick-up the last of her packages. I really want to laugh at what she said, but all I could do was look at her and wish I could just disappear. She looked so nice, I wanted to say something really witty. "I..... ummmm... I'm... ah.... Jesse....... uhhh."
"Hello Jesse Uhhh" she offers her hand with a little tease of a smile. "My name is Amanda. It is very nice to meet you, all things considered. Just watch where you are going so no one gets hurt...ok?"
"Sure... I promise."
As she turns and walks away I want to yell out, "please come back," but the words just stick in my throat. I suddenly feel tingly all over, what the hell is going on. Just before she turns around the corner she looks back my way and says, "By the way, my friends all call me Sunshine." Then she blows me a kiss. I stand there again with my mouth open. When I get enough of my wits back I run to the corner. She's nowhere in site.
I spend the rest of the day looking all over this damn town without any luck. As night falls and another storm begins to brew, I find myself back at the old house wishing I had said something, anything to make her stay. I also haven't been this excited about anything since Amy was here, maybe even before, when I was still just a kid. Throwing together something quick to eat, and afterwards giving up and just prepare to go to bed. Lately that pretty much has been my routine. I really don't even feel like even sitting down at my computer to write, all I do is sit and stare at the screen anyway.
When I start up the stairs toward my room I hear a soft knock at the door. Just barely, since the storm is now going full bore outside. When I open the door, there is a small figure standing in the dark on my porch. As they step into the light a silly little smile creeps across my lips.....
It's her, from today at the bank, my knock down victim. "Please, step inside, get out of the storm."
