Entering her apartment, Jessica put her suitcase, purse and bag down on the kitchen floor. It was just before noon and the home was empty. Her husband Josh wouldn't be home for a few more hours. Kicking her heels off, she grabbed a glass of water from the dispenser and pulled her cell out of her purse.
As she sunk in to the big sectional, she sent a text message to Josh.
Home safe, see you soon
J
Josh's reply was surprisingly quick and her phone pinged loudly catching her off guard.
Can't wait to get home. XOXO
Sitting in the quiet of her apartment her mind traced back to her trip. Just last night she had let a man lick her and had given him head. What had she done? Her mind raced and guilt began to replace the excitement of making the biggest sale of her career to date. She had whored herself out to make a sale.
Flopping on her side, her mind raced about what to say to Josh. Clearly this could and would never happen again. She was naive and would not let anyone else take advantage of her like that again.
Her inner monolog broke, her voice echoed across the living room, "I have to tell Josh! He loves me, he will forgive me and we can move on." The guilt continued to eat at her as she thought of how she would tell him. It was the only option and the right thing to do.
"What if he doesn't forgive me?" Her voice was beginning to crack. "What if he leaves me? I would deserve it and he would be right to leave me. He deserves so much better."
Josh unlocked the apartment door and rushed in to the living room. To his disappointment Jessica was curled up in a ball fast asleep. Taking the crocheted blanket her mother had made for them, he gently covered her with it before quietly making them some dinner.
Jessica awoke to a fragrant smell filling the apartment lifted her head slowly as her vision focused. There was Josh in the kitchen with his back to her cooking up a storm. As he turned, their eyes met and he immediately dropped the spoon in his hand and headed to her.
She stood quickly and met him half way. His arms embraced her so tightly and she nuzzled her head in to his chest. His voice was excited, "You must have been tired sweety."
Jessica raised her face to his and he took the queue and kissed her gently. She placed her hand on his head in hopes of holding him there forever and eliminating the need to ever tell him about what had transpired.
"You must be hungry, go sit and I'll bring it out." His hand gestured to the table as he broke their embrace. Josh put the two plates of pasta down and returned with a small basket of garlic bread before taking his seat at the head of the table beside Jessica.
Josh grabbed the bottle of cabernet and opened it. Slowly pouring wine in to Jessica's glass before filling his own. "Now I want you to tell me everything! Did you sell them stuff? Were you scared? I want to know every detail Jess!"
Her mind focused on the first part and wondered if this was the time to tell him everything or not. "I did it!" She smiled and found her eyes looking down at her plate, "I sold the whole backup solution to them."
"Shouldn't you look a lot more excited?" He was clearly puzzled.
"I am excited. It's a big commission cheque that will be coming." Her eyes met his and the guilt began to fester in her stomach.
Leaning over, Josh met her lips with a soft kiss, "That is terrific honey, absolutely great. I'm so proud of you. I know how bad you wanted it and look, you did it." He kissed her again before moving back in to his seat.
Once dinner was cleared away, they retired to the couch. Josh's arms pulling her close and snuggling her before turning the television on. Jess curled in to him taking a fetal position with her head on his shoulder.
"I love you Josh." She turned to look at him.
"I love you too sweety." He kissed her lips.
"Would you still love me if I did something really bad?" her eyes were very serious.
"You mean like if you killed somebody?" He chuckled trying to lighten the mood.
"Seriously Josh!" She broke her gaze. "I did something I'm not proud of and I need you to still love me."
"What? What is it Jess? Of course I will still love you." His arms squeezed her tightly. "You can tell me anything, you know that."
Jessica's mind replayed all the ways she could tell him and none of them seemed to fit, "I gave a guy head to make the sale."
Josh choked in disbelief of what he heard "You what?"
"You heard me Josh, I'm so sorry! It was a mistake and I need you to forgive me." Her eyes flicked up and down trying to read Josh.
His arm was not squeezing her as tight that was for sure. He looked sick as the color drained from his face. "Did you fuck him Jess?" His mind had chosen anger to cope.
"NO! I swear, just oral." Jess began to sob before finishing her sentence.
"FUCK! What the fuck Jess!!" He stood and began to pace. "Who the fuck was it?"
No longer able to make eye contact she mumbled her response, "My client."
"That's fucking great. My wife goes and blows guys to make a sale. Doesn't that make you a whore Jess?" He screamed it out in hopes of getting some relief.
"Please Josh! Please! I love you! I did it for us Josh." Her mascara ran down her face as she watched him make his way down the hall and enter the bedroom. She sat listening quietly. No noise came from the room. Was he packing to leave? The silence was killing her so she made her way down the hall.
Josh was sitting on the edge of the bed with his head down. She slowly made her way to him and kneeled on the floor in front of him putting her head on his lap. "I'm sorry Josh, I really am. Please forgive me."
Sitting there on the edge of the bed starring down at his wife's blonde hair he heard himself ask the question that was eating him up inside, "Did you like it?"
"What?" Jessica looked up quickly? "What kind of question is that?"
"It's one that needs answering Jess." He met her eyes, "I need to know the truth."
