This story is not a work of fiction. It is Michael's story and his love for Annie and how it was interrupted by her untimely death. We do not choose who we love, we just love them. We do not choose when they die, we just miss them when they're gone.
* * * * *
He stood in the elevator alone. He'd made this trip every day for a week now, never knowing if it was going to be his last. Usually there were other people on the elevator with him, People of all ages, people of different religions, people with different ethnic backgrounds, all standing on the elevator, taking the same ride, to the same ward, with the same fears, the same hesitancy, the same look of despair on their faces.
Today he was alone. Did that have meaning? Was today's visit going to be different?
The elevator door opened and the smell of death slammed into him. It permeated his nostrils, clung to his clothes, and gathered in the back of his throat like aged milkweed. The hallway stretched before him with rooms to either side, each one leading to a personal story of tragedy. He bypassed the visitor's lounge and circled around the nurse's station. The door to his story was further up, in the next hallway. He was growing to hate the sight of stark white, even if it meant sterility. He longed for the site of dirt. Maybe mud sloshed from winter boots, colorful smudges from a palette of make-up, or burgundy stains from a spilled wineglass, anything that showed life. Life how it was a year ago.
He noticed most of the doors were closed. Death lurked. It was pungent today. It could hide in the stark white hallway drifting from room to room, but it could never lose its odor. As he neared her door, his heart sped up. Someone had left it open. His legs grew weak, his stomach churned, his palms began to sweat. Delusional anger swelled up inside of him. Didn't they know that death was prowling, seeking a place to rest?
He rushed inside and quickly closed the door. The room was dark, the air fragrant with gardenia. It was her smell-the soft flowery, vanilla smell of white flowers. And he remembered.
* * *
"If I live to be a hundred, I will always think of you when I smell gardenias. I think the flower stole its fragrance from you." He slipped up behind and wrapped his arms around her, pressing his nose into the valley of her neck.
"Oh, Michael, I can't believe how much of a poet you are sometimes."
"It clings to your skin like dew in the morning." He inhaled and breathed the delicate scent until it seeped into his pores, savoring it before exhaling. His hands worked their way down her freshly showered skin. His fingers tingled from the heated moisture evaporating beneath his strokes. He swirled lightly around her navel and ever so gently worked his way down to the spongy pubic hair, still wet from her shower.
She leaned back against him. Her head lulled at his shoulder, and her legs opened, welcoming his touch. He willingly accepted her invitation as his fingertips danced across her labia and pirouetted between the folds. His fingers were greeted with the lush, warm pulp of her overripe pussy.
"You're all mush, Annie, so steamy and wet."
He delved further into her slit, saturating his fingers, and then brought them to his waiting mouth. He inhaled deeply the powerful elixir of Annie and gardenia, before licking his fingers clean.
She moaned.
* * *
He turned toward the desolate groan of pain, remembering where he was. Her wasted body was lost in the bed, her weight barely indenting the mattress. The white sheets blanketed her like a shroud. He wished he could just wad them up and throw them away.
He went to her side, whispering her name. He agonizingly watched for a sign that she heard him. There was only her grimace of pain. And the pallor of death. A thin layer of skin stretched over her gaunt face. Her eyelids were like parchment. Her dry and cracked lips ashen.
He reached to caress her cheek and was jarred by her frigid skin. He panicked. She was too cold. The room was like a tomb. He scrambled to the window and threw open the curtains, begging the sun to warm her. He rushed to the heater and turned it to high. He rubbed his hands together until the friction was hot and he placed them on her cheeks. He leaned over her and brought his lips to hers.
And he kissed her.
* * *
"Mmm, Annie, your lips are so soft."