Lately Cheryl had felt so frustrated. Her roommate had moved out to get married, leaving her alone in the apartment - and to handle the rent all by herself. Her job had seemed promising at first - and she still really liked it, especially her boss - but she'd been passed over for promotions more than once despite glowing performance reviews.
As she sat at her desk that Wednesday morning, flying through the emails that were pouring in, she was thinking about the coming summer - it was the start of May, and she would need to decide soon if she was going to put in for some vacation time.
While Cheryl was thinking about taking a vacation she saw an "official" company email pop into her box. She read it quickly and saw that it was announcing yet another opening in the company - the kind of job that for some reason they always seemed to prefer filling with an internal candidate. The economy was getting better, her friends were getting raises, but for some reason it seemed as if she was stuck. She reread the email carefully before closing the message.
As the day got busier she kept thinking about the email. The posting had said that they wanted someone with great organizational skills, good analytical abilities, and "a way with people" - all things at which she excelled.
"I shouldn't be thinking about a vacation" she said to herself, "I should be thinking about moving up."
By that afternoon she had decided that she'd apply for the job - but that she'd do it differently this time - no more sending her resume off into a big pile somewhere, hoping that she would be interviewed. After all, she thought, her boss Roger was a senior executive in the company and should be able to put in a good word for her - it was the least he could after she had served as his Executive Assistant for three years.
On the way to work the next morning she decided that she'd pick up a second cup of coffee in addition to her own - one for Roger. When she arrived she dropped her keys and bag on her desk and stuck her head in his office.
"Can I trade you a hot mocha grande latte for a few minutes' worth of advice?"
Roger was at his desk. She noticed that he was wearing a neatly pressed grey suit with thin pale blue stripes, a crisp white shirt with cuff links, and a maroon tie with a subtle blue pattern. His head was tilted down at a report he was reading. She could smell the scent left behind by his cologne - a bit of spice in the air.
He barely looked up.
"Hey, sure, happy to help - and thanks for the coffee - my favorite." He still didn't look up, so she put the coffee on his desk and jumped right in.
"Roger, there's another opening for a manager - the kind of position they always fill with inside candidates - and I'm wondering if you could give me some advice."
She had his attention now. He looked up, twisted the cap off the coffee, pursed his lips and blew on the hot liquid. She watched him closely, looking at his face, noticing his mouth as he blew. He licked his lips after his first sip, trying to catch a bit of the froth from the steamed milk, and she lost her train of thought for a moment.
"Really? Wow. Listen, Cheryl, you are great, don't get me wrong - in fact, you'd be a stellar manager. But what the heck would I do without you? And besides, a position like this is at a whole 'nuther level - you have to really want it - you'll be getting emails at all hours of the night and day, you'd have to supervise a coworker, you'd have to deliver on the projects, on time, and on budget - unless there is a real fire in your belly that kind of thing can drive you crazy - it can eat you alive."
She didn't know if was a fire in her belly, but she felt something - maybe nausea -as her face flushed. She "didn't want it bad enough?!" He "couldn't afford to lose her?!" THIS is what three years of hard work and loyalty meant?
Cheryl wasn't sure if she should throw her hot coffee at him or argue with him, but instead of scalding or yelling she sat there and felt the air go out of her. She backed down as she usually did, thanked him and said "yeah, I guess you are right" and went back to her desk.
Despite what she had said to him she was angry, she was hurt, and she was frustrated. Her mind raced all morning. Why shouldn't she have a shot at a promotion? She knew the playing field wasn't always level, but couldn't understand why others got promoted and not her. Roger thought she was "indispensable?" He made it sound as if she were a computer or a piece of furniture. In fact, he seemed to not even notice her half the time.
She liked working for Roger -and thought he looked good in his suit, too, which made it even better - but wished he'd pay more attention to her and give her some serious credit. She had a four year college degree and had taken the admin job when the economy was lousy - she'd paid her dues and it was time to be recognized!
Cheryl had certainly see him "recognizing" some of the other women in the office, even though he was very professional - there was never anything too overt, nothing too obvious - but after working for the man for three years, day in and day out, she'd caught him more than once looking at someone leaving his office after a meeting. Well, not just "someone," usually a woman in a tight skirt. And come to think of it, a woman her own age.
Cheryl thought about the job opening all afternoon. It could mean so many things - a chance to move up, a chance to make more money, a chance to take that vacation and to keep her apartment without getting another roommate. Why was it so hard to just get a fair chance? She keep going in circles with her thoughts and decided to leave "early" that night, at 5:30 instead of 7, to think about things at home over a glass of wine. She was beginning to think she should just take charge of her life and quit and move someplace else.
