Today

Before I can tell of what happened to me today, you have to understand the tension that's been developing inside me in relation to this woman. Clara is my godmother and until we left the country of my birth we all were very close. As a kid, we spent a lot of time together and she took my siblings and I on holidays at least once a year. She had been married but divorced him before I was born, as he was an alcoholic and a wife-beater.

About 10 years after leaving my homeland I went back for a visit and stayed with Clara for some of the time that I was there. As usual we'd been getting on well. On this trip 2 interesting things happened that changed many things for me, unfortunately not until it was too late.

Interesting thing 1: About halfway through my stay there we'd returned from a night out catching up with some old family friends and switched on the TV. Sure enough, there was a free-to air channel showing some soft porn. Some European countries are fairly liberal about these things. So we sat and watched it. I was a bit surprised that Clara didn't change the channel, but, hey, I didn't mind. So we're watching this movie, which showed lots of breasts, some female genitals (just the pubic hair region, not explicit vaginal shots) but no male genitals.

"They never show the men, always just the women!" said Clara at a point when they'd showed lots of naked woman running around, also a few men, but no sight of a penis. I was surprised as all hell and got the distinct sense that she was a bit frustrated about this. "I guess that's because they make the movies mainly for men" I replied. I thought of it no more and got back into the movie.

Interesting thing 2: I had just finished getting myself ready for bed and walked out of the bathroom toward the guest bedroom. Clara came out of her bedroom to go to the bathroom. I wasn't wearing my glasses, so it took me a few moments to realise that she was naked. I caught a glimpse of her breasts and looked down. No, she wasn't naked. She was wearing tan underpants. She walked past me and entered the bathroom. I was pretty stunned. In fact, while this was happening, my brain had frozen. When I started to think about what had happened I realised that while walking past me Clara had had an expectant look on her face. I suspected that her nudity was designed to have an effect on me. But I just wasn't sure, and I didn't have the guts to ask her about it.

Anyway, eventually I returned home – and started to realise the changes in me. First, she has a very fit and lean body, mainly because all of her life she has been a very active cyclist and mountaineer. I found myself thinking about that more often (her body, that is). Second, I became more and more certain that if had done anything other than be a dense pillock I could have been able to give Clara some sexual relief, and received some from her in return.

Over time I found myself fantasising about Clara more and more often. I kept going over those two incidents and replaying them with me having a functioning brain. Here's an example of what I am talking about:

Interesting incident 1:

"Well, Clara, you have a video camera, you could make your own movies and show as much of the man as you want."

Clara looks at me sadly "But I don't have a man to make such a movie with."

"Clara, I have a solution but I'm worried that you might get offended."

"I won't get offended. What is it?"

"OK. But remember you promised you wouldn't get offended. You could use me in the movie."

Clara smiles. Not quite a knowing smile, but just enough to make me think this was all going how she had planned. "You? Would you really do that?"

"Clara, I have so many great memories because of what you have done for me when I was a kid. So, for you I would do anything."

We both are not exactly sure what to do next. "OK, Clara, where's the script. If I'm to be an actor you need to tell me how to act."

"For a start you can take your clothes off" Clara gets off the couch and walks to the wall unit where she keeps the camera. I do as she asked and by the time she returns with the videocamera I am naked. She points the camera at me and records. She starts with a wide angle shot and then zooms in on my penis. She holds the shot. And keeps holding it. After a few moments I think that surely there could be more interesting things we could record.

"Is there anything in particular you want me to do?"

"Yes, I want it to go stiff."

"Mmmm. I might need a bit of help with that. How about you put the camera on the tripod, get your clothes off too and help me to get stiff?"

Clara gets out the tripod and connects the camera to it. While she's undressing I connect the camera to the television so we can see what's being recorded. She is naked and enters the shot. Boy, she sure does have firm breasts. In fact I am amazed how good they look. But then, she is physically very active and has never had kids.

She smiles at me and asks, "So you said you wanted a little help?" Her hand softly brushes against my penis, which sends shivers down my back. "Is this what you were thinking?" A slightly more firm touch and I am thrilled. I can't speak so nod my head. Clara turns me so I am facing the camera and then zooms the camera so all that is in the shot is my genital region. I am not yet hard, but there is definitely more blood in that thing than there was!

She stands to the right and a bit behind me and her right hand snakes across my belly, gently caressing my skin. Slowly she works her way toward my penis. She reaches my balls first and starts caressing them. It's now semi-rigid. Gently she starts teasing my shaft, working her way toward the head at an excruciatingly slow pace.

I look at the TV screen and see a raging hard-on being expertly caressed. Then the hand moves away. I await its return, but it doesn't happen. I look at Clara who has a mischievous smile. "OK, I now have a shot of your hard-on. Thanks for that."

I suspect she's just kidding, but I am not sure. I am lost for words, simply staring at her. My disappointment must have shown. "Oh, poor baby. Can't leave you like that can we?" She brings her hand to her mouth and wets her fingers. "Watch the TV" she tells me. I turn back to the TV and watch as the hand returns to my penis, rubbing my head with the lubricated fingers – sort of like squeezing an orange on one of those manual juicers. Boy, this feels good.

I jump and her left hand makes its way between my legs from behind. No, she's not going for my rear entry (thank Christ), but brings her left hand to play by tickling me just behind my balls while her right hand slowly starts pumping my erection. I don't know how much I can take of this!

Then her left hand works its way forward and wraps itself around the base of my shaft, gently squeezing my balls. The pace of her other hand has increased. On the screen my head is fully engorged, deep purple. Then I can feel the first twinge in my balls. So can Clara as now she is really working my penis. I explode. I watch as string after string (well, maybe 3 or 4 of them) gushes out of my penis all over her hand and onto her carpet.

When I am empty I move her hand away. "So, is that the sort of shot you've been looking for?" Clara looks at me, smiles and says "Oh, yes." (I can't believe how corny this is. Well, actually I can – it is after all happening inside my mind).

She cleans herself up and turns off the camera. "Hang on, Clara, the movie is only half done." I walk to the camera, point it to the couch. I take her hand and seat her on the couch so she is reclined, one leg bent but on the couch, the other resting on the floor. Her legs are apart, allowing me perfect access to what awaits between. I set the camera to focus on her, but more of a wide angle than Clara had of me.

Leaning over her so that I do not block the view of her body I start at her neck, lightly brushing my lips along her skin. When I can feel the goose bumps I poke out my tongue just enough to gently caress and wet her skin. I lightly blow on her neck to help the moisture evaporate, which really brings on the goose bumps. Slowly I work my way to her breasts. I circle them, gradually making my way toward the right aureole and nipple in an ever-tightening circle. Just as I first brush my lips past the aureole I move my lips and tongue away and move toward the other breast. Clara moans in disappointment. She is arching her back at the anticipation of me caressing her nipple.

I tease her like this for a good few minutes before I finally kiss her nipple. Slowly I suck it into my mouth, run circles around it with my tongue. She is moaning, arching her hips of the couch. I can see the moisture that is beading on her pubic hair. Although I am tempted I do not rush toward it.

I slowly move my way down her belly. With my kiss I caress the crease that her thigh make where they meet the hips, without touching her labia. Again, her expectation of finally having her need satisfied shows by her moans. I ignore her and slowly caress with my lips her thighs. I move past her womanhood running my tongue over the soft skin of her firm thighs and along the back of her knees. By the time I return to the V between her legs, her labia are parted, engorged and a delicious deep pinky-red. They are covered in her wetness that entices me to taste, to explore her intimacy.

I start at her large labia, slowly caressing them with my tongue, careful not to enter her vagina or touch her clitoris. I tease, I caress. Clara moans, twists thrusting herself toward my mouth. I lean back and continue teasing her. This time her inner labia. This time I circle the entry to her vagina without actually entering. When I feel her tension building to a new high it is time. I gently brush my tongue past her clitoris. Clara sucks in her breath, stops breathing. I do it again. And again. She starts breathing heavily, almost hyperventilating. Slowly, but inexorably, I caress her clitoris with my tongue. Slowly I speed up and make more firm contact. Her whole body starts to contract with each heavy, deep breath and then she reaches her climax. Her body shudders uncontrollably, her moans of pleasure have no structure, simply an expression of her intense pleasure being forced out of her lungs by the intense contractions. As they subside I tickle her clitoris more forcefully and begin circling her vagina with my index finger. Her contractions intensify.

I keep doing this about 4 or 5 times until she asks me to stop. She is utterly breathless. Unable to move. But I have never seen the glow in her eyes that she has now. She hugs me and we just lie on the couch for a while, holding each other, amazed at what has just taken place between us.

OK, I think you get an idea of the sort of things that have been going through my head since that visit back to my Clara. Next time I'll tell you about what happened to me today. Provided of course, that I don't get sidetracked again.