He closed his eyes and leaned back in his chair. Sarah leaned forward then and grabbed his hand, grabbed at the opportunity of his vulnerability to make amends, something she had wanted to do for years.
"I swear to you Derek. I never would have hurt you that way, I never would have left if I didn't in my heart and soul believe that he could have hurt you, or worse. I loved you."
He opened his eyes and refocused on her face, seeing her earnestness but feeling the pain return.
"I wanted to marry you, you know."
"I know."
"Do you? Do you know how much I wanted to be with you?"
"As much as I wanted to be with you, I suppose."
"If only..."
"Yes, if only..."
They dropped their hands and both leaned forward to retrieve their champagne glasses, both breathing in the electricity around them, afraid to say more. Afraid to not say enough.
"Some things never change", Derek almost whispered. "I still love you."
He had said it. He had put his heart on the line, once again. With every risk that it would be crushed again.
"We don't know each other anymore. It was so long ago."
"Then why did you write about it?"
"Because I think about it, and you, every single day. Because it was never over. Because..."
Derek reached for her glass and put it on the table. He put his hand behind her head and drew her close. Their lips met, at first lightly feathering but as a minute passed, more fervently.
They pulled apart slightly and looked at one another.
"Let's go", he said.
They got up as though of one mind and walked out of the bar. Derek pulled a key card from his pocked, cocked an eyebrow at her and they went without talking further, hand in hand, to the elevator.
Sarah was trembling, not from fear but glorious anticipation. What should have happened years ago was finally going to happen and she didn't care. She didn't care about the consequences at that moment. She didn't want to think about what would happen tomorrow. All she knew was that this had to happen then. Derek put his arm around her shoulder, bringing her in tight and calming her nerves a little. She felt safe in his arms. She knew he would never hurt her.
They entered the dark room and as the heavy hotel door slammed shut behind them, he pulled her to him, embracing her softly but ever so tantalizingly, drawing out her agony and desire. She dropped her handbag, her coat and freed her arms to encircle his neck, holding him tightly to her, feeling his desire. He pulled her towards the bed and they sat on the edge, still embracing, though now with all their desire spilling over to the edge of restraint. She pulled back to reach for his shirt buttons, slowly, agonizingly undoing each one and finally pushing it back off of his shoulders. She put his hands on his chest and felt his heart beating so fast, so hard. She let him pull the sweater she was wearing over her head and ran his fingers through his hair as he leaned in to reach for the clasp of her bra, releasing her breasts. He pulled it off of her and ran his fingers over her nipples, already stiff and begging to be sucked. He indulged them and dipped in to taste them, gently suckling her and driving her desire to new heights. He pushed her gently back so that she was lying on the bed, waiting for him, as it should have been, as he had imagined so many times in his mind's eye. He undid her skirt and gently peeled it off, leaving only her silken underpants between them.
"Are you joining me?" Sarah asked, a wicked grin on her face.
Derek had already kicked off his shoes and was removing his trousers as she said this, needing no prompting and wanting only to have Sarhavre himself. He lay beside her and gently gathered her into his arms, pulling her up so that he could embrace her once again, exploring her mouth gently with his tongue and slowly, drawing hers in to his mouth, sucking it gently, all the while holding her tightly against him. Their kisses became more demanding, more wild and they both knew that they needed to finish what they had started so that they could start all over again. Sarah hooked her thumbs in to his underwear, sliding them down and as she did so, she kissed then end of his penis which had jumped up, as if it was seeking her embrace.
Derek groaned and rolled Sarah over on to her back, pulling down her underwear and returning to their embrace all the while holding her to him, steady and strong, kissing and sucking that little soft spot on the side of her neck that he knew drove her over the edge. He knew because they had gotten that far years ago. But they had been careful to go no further. Now there was nothing stopping them. He pulled back to look into Sarah's face, to see his desire reflected in her eyes and then he gave himself up to her with full abandon. She reached down and guided him in to her and as he slid in to her warm well, they both gasped, realizing that they were a perfect fit for one another. He pulled back almost completely and watched her moan and arch her back in anticipation of their coming back together and as he plunged in to her again and again, and she met him stroke for stroke, they abandoned themselves to the pleasure. For the first time in her life, Sarah came with a violence that shook her to her core. Her spasming walls drove Derek to the edge and as he pumped a few final strokes, he knew that nothing would ever be the same for him again. She was his. And he was hers.
