Trashy Romance Novel

Author's Note: This is the story of one of the worst days in Mimi Sensuelle's life.

"Whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger." -- Freidrich Nietzsche

None of the following events were on Mimi Sensuelle's official agenda when she woke up at Reviva House Assisted Living on Saturday morning.

Before moving into medical and assisted care, Mimi had been homeless for a year in both Los Angeles and Santa Barbara. Santa Barbara was by far the better location for this "lifestyle" since it was cleaner, prettier, and had both a lower crime rate and a beautiful, accessible beach. On the other hand, Los Angeles had a lot more Section 8 subsidized housing and Mimi would be moving into a Section 8 condo in about a couple of months.

So, what happened?

Mimi woke up at Reviva House Assisted Living, had a great breakfast, packed up, and was taken by Fazar, the manager and his assistant Travis to Loving Hearts Care Center (aka "nursing home") in North Hollywood. Mimi had been a patient there for six weeks and was discharged to assisted living on June 10th. This turned out to be premature because Mimi was taking a diuretic which was easy to handle at a nursing home, but not at an assisted living house. (Diuretics make you pee a LOT to counteract water retention,)

Fazar, the Reviva manager, told Mimi that he had procured a bed for her at Loving Hearts Care Center where she had stayed previously. He dropped her off without waiting to see if she got checked in and took off. Chaos ensued.

Mimi had not been officially registered and there was no bed available until Monday. Meanwhile she ran into Rinaldo. Rinaldo had been a quasi- boyfriend and Mimi had taken him out to dinner two nights previously. Mimi returned to visit him the following night and he "broke up" with her for seemingly no reason. When pressed, he said it was because she didn't call before visiting. This was laughable because he knew she didn't have a phone.

When Mimi arrived the following day to try to claim her non-existent bed, she and Rinaldo saw each other in the hall. Mimi, still harboring hurt feelings from having been dumped the previous evening, greeted Rinaldo with, "Hi, Asshole." He responded with, "You're a Fucking Bitch." Unfortunately, this triggered Mimi's "caveman brain" (limbic system) and without thinking, she swung her arm striking Rinaldo on the jawline with her hand.

Lots of staff and residents witnessed this and the cops were called. When they arrived, they arrested Mimi and took her away to jail. They were impressed by Mimi and liked her so they used their influence to send her to a real hospital instead of a jail hospital. In fact, they were able to keep her out of further jail altogether but were required to issue her two restraining orders. She therefore must never talk to Rinaldo again or approach him in any manner whatsoever. In addition, she must never set foot into Loving Hearts again. This broke her heart because she was hoping to stay there again and visit her many friends. (Author's note: These restraining orders were later removed because the paperwork was filled out incorrectly. Mimi thinks the police did this on purpose because they were required by law to issue them but didn't think she deserved them.)

Rinaldo received no repercussions for his part in what happened. At the very least, Mimi thought he should reimburse her $55 for his share of the dinner, half of Mimi's taxi fare, and ice cream from their "date." Btw, the legal system considered Mimi and Rinaldo to be dating because she made the mistake of calling him her boyfriend to the police. That's why there were restraining orders against her and she was considered an "abusive domestic partner." To review the facts, Rinaldo "broke up" with Mimi the preceding night so they were not even dating.

The police took Mimi away in handcuffs which were fastened behind her back and painful. When her hands were finally free at the jailhouse holding cell, she wrote:

"Note to self: Do not take men I like out to dinner. It's too expensive.

Note to the party who I am not allowed to talk to:

Consider doing some community service as reparations for this awful turn of events.

Watch your mouth."

Mimi was relieved when the restraining orders were dropped. She remembered a line from a song from the old TV show, Hee Haw, and applied it to her brief "fling that almost happened" with Rinaldo.

"I have flushed you from the toilet of my mind."

Ahhhhhhhhh.

This left her available for new adventures with new people.

Next?

[To be continued]