I didn't know how this one would go when I wrote it. I normally wait a few weeks, or even months to let an experience soak in before I write about it. But I wrote this just after it happened. I don't know if that means it will be better, worse or not make any difference. You'll have to tell me.
Charlotte
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Regular readers know this, but new ones won't, so I'll say it again anyway. My stories are true. I found some time ago that I can't write fiction. I can't imagine things very well. But I do remember things well. I use Paul and my real names, but mostly everyone else who gets named, I change the name for their privacy. The conversations are probably not exact, but they are as close as I can recall them.
I am two weeks away from my wedding. I can't tell you how much I am looking forward to being married to Paul. The three years since he came into my life have been amazing, both on a personal kind of way, and sexually speaking. I had such a vanilla kind of sex life before Paul. It was OK. I never complained. But until Paul, I never realized what I had been missing - the whole sense of adventure in sex, the variety, the unexpected. I have discovered how to trust totally and that has let me be honest about my submissive nature. Not a doormat, mind you, but submissive in that I can, no... I WANT to give myself to him and any desire he has. And in return, he has done the same for me.
If I sound like I am gushing, it's probably the nearness to the wedding speaking.
But I have been worried about one thing. That the adventure of our sex life might fade. Would his quiet confidence in telling exactly what he wants grow less with us married? Would I feel as happily submissive? Would he want to share me with other men and women once I was married to him? All these were things he introduced me to, or maybe rather allowed me to do - so different from what my life had been like in my marriage, or in the years before and after. I didn't want to lose them.
The past few weeks haven't helped. We decided to get married quickly. Less than three months from proposal to the "I do". There were a lot of things to make happen. There is a lot to do. I'm a little anal about details so I've been kind of crazy the past couple of months and particularly the past few weeks. And honestly, I probably haven't been the best sex partner or fiance all that time. Totally too focused on all the details and arrangements. But a few days ago I realized I had it all under control. It's on autopilot. I can relax. So I asked Paul if we could go out to someplace nice for dinner, and relax. I didn't have to ask him twice!
He had to leave early to do a shoot, which was perfect. I played as if I was asleep as he got dressed. I heard him gather his gear and drive off. Once I heard him do down the lane to the road, I got out of bed. A long, soaking bath, perfumed was in order. I shaved everything, taking special care. I did my hair up.
He likes that, so he can kiss my neck. And I like to have my neck kissed!. For me, preparing for sex is like foreplay, and I was enjoying it a lot, even if it was going to hours from then.
I picked my lingerie with care. My dark green lace Victoria Secret's bra and panties that we both like. The bra holds my breasts up and they fill the cup perfectly. I always feel like a lingerie model when I wear them, even if I am a few pounds heavier than most of the models you see on TV. I was working, so I had to wear something nice. I chose a black dress with white polka dots. It has a flowing kind of skirt, very 1950's. And it buttons up the front. Which means I can go to work buttoned to the neck, and undo a button or two when we went to dinner. Pearls.
I looked at myself in the mirror. I may be 43, but I do dress up nice, even if I do say so myself.
All day long I thought about the evening. I was thinking car sex after dinner. Paul lives in the country and I figured we could pull into the woods somewhere and have sex with his convertible's top down. It's been a long time since we've done that and I remembered how I felt - like a naughty teenager. I had checked the weather - it was going to be warm.
Perfect.