Alex and I have been friends for a long time. He knows me inside out - emotionally, that is. I wasn't sure if I had feelings for him, but he was sure about me: he'd made it quite clear he wasn't into me over the years.
This didn't stop me fantasising about him though. Maybe when we were watching a film, I would lean my head against his shoulder and wish that I could curl up in his lap. Or when I was telling him about a great orgasm I'd had, I wish he'd ask to be a part of it next time.
I knew he had a fetish for women's underwear. We'd often stay up late into the night, discussing our lives, our dreams, our desires... We were pretty open with each other about our sexualities, which is how I came to understand what really turns him on.
The idea of him getting hard for me was irresistible. I wanted him to love me in that way, to want to hold me and use me in the most intimate ways. I admired him so much, and I just wanted to be wanted by him.
So I started thinking about ways that we could add a sexual aspect to our friendship. I wasn't in love with him, and he wasn't with me, so I wasn't looking for a sweeping romance. But we were both single, and horny, and just gasping for a bit of release.