"Have you decided to bid on anything tonight?" the dark haired woman asked me.
"I put in one for the Mets package and the foursome at Winged Foot," I responded.
"Golf is not my thing, but I also bid for the Mets. Hi, my name is Patti. What did you put up for the auction?"
"Hi, Jason. And a weekend's use of my boat," I answered.
"Wow! that is some prize. I saw a few very large bids for that already."
"And you?" I asked her.
"A soul mate," she answered with a surprisingly straight face.
"Now I recognize you. Patti, from Matchmaker Millionaire. I have watched a few minutes while channel surfing."
"Just a few minutes?" she asked incredulously.
"I do recall watching the one with the train wreck girl wanting to date the young handsome guy, who really had no interest in her. Obviously, he just wanted some TV exposure. You advised her to go with the more appropriate guy, but she went ahead with her stud anyways. The audience knew what was going to happen, and it played out perfectly. The Train Wreck crashed."
Patti laughed, "That one did get good ratings. Bravo reran it many times."
"I find it hard to believe that your show actually works. I read you claim to have a 99% success rate, but outside sources discovered only 10% go on second dates. What percent of these people actually have a relationship for at least six months?"
"I will level with you here. Before the show I really did have great success with my clients. However, in television we don't want the boring couples. We are looking for some excitement. Unfortunately, that brings in the train wrecks, as you say."
We walked over to the auction table for her donation, and we found the auction card remained blank. "No one is willing to take a shot with you," I said. "I guess most of the people here are married or don't want to be embarrassed on television."
"I would make sure no one from here would be embarrassed. Bravo has actually given me the budget to film this episode with the donor getting full editing rights and the clout to kibosh the whole episode."
"That makes it a little more interesting. So, I can try the whole thing like a dress rehearsal. If it is no good, then it gets destroyed. I mean it won't show up on Youtube the next week."
"Make the minimum bid, and I promise you will have full control."
My 100k bid held up for the night, and I agreed to meet with Patti at her office the following month for the initial interview.
Four weeks later
"Hi Jason, this is my staff, Rachel and Destin. As you know we want to get some information from you about what you want from your soul mate. I looked up a bit of your background. You have a very successful private equity company, hence your generous bid. I also saw you were married once for a couple of years. Any children? "
"None that I know about."
"Do you want children? Some guys by age 40 have decided against it."
"I would still like to have some. I would not even rule out a woman with a child already, as long as the situation with the dad is not too complicated."
"What other things are you looking for."
"Athletic, adventurous, curious, likes to have fun but does not expect to party every night. Also, she must be empathetic to others. I don't want anyone one who thinks too much of herself."
"Like me?" Patti asked with feigned indigence. Rachel and Destin laughed along with both of us. "What about looks? Your type is athletic, so we can start from there.
"Not too skinny. Also, I like really short hair on women. Think Charlize Theron in Mad Max."
"Yes, she is beautiful with any style. Most men I know like long hair. Did you ex have short hair?"
"She did when we met in grad school, and she kept this beautiful pixie during the first year of our marriage. Her neck was always exposed for me to kiss. However, she said she felt more comfortable at work with longer hair, and I did not push her to keep it short. Over the next year the more we grew apart the longer she grew her hair. We finally moved on with little commotion. We had no kids and similar finances at the time, so the divorce went as smoothly as possible."
Patti brought our conversation back to the show. "We tend to get women with long stylish hair on the show, but we can arrange to have some short haired women come in."