Evangelists?
I had been visiting people in the neighbourhood with a junior member of the church community I was committed to working with. We always worked in pairs, which had the advantage of mutual support for one another, and usually one could learn from the other more experienced campaigner.
I was about 18 months into a two-year contract, which included spreading the word of my faith to those who were interested, doubtful, sceptics, non-believers and at worst, hostile to any semblance of organised religion.
Our usual greeting was to say we were spreading the word of God and before there were any objections, one or the other of us would ask the people who answered the door if we might have a glass of water. This was to distract them from their initial objections and to give them a chance to do a kindness for people other than themselves.
Elder Jamie was 19. The public always saw a joke in the use of the term 'Elder' for someone so young. We were always explaining our meaning but the mirth continued with comments such as, I think if I have a baby I will call it 'Elder'.
Jamie had begun taking more and more involvement in these visits and when it was appropriate, he would speak up reciting points I had made previously. He was becoming quite articulate. I thought he would soon be able to hold his own with little or no help from me, as he appeared to be growing in the faith.
It was ironic that as he was becoming more comfortable with his task, I was beginning to ask myself questions about what I was supposed to believe in. I have heard of the term 'Crisis of Faith' and was thinking how appropriate it sounded to the way I felt.
We called on a home we had visited before and found there were new people living there. A woman of about 22 answered the door wearing a pair of jeans and a white cotton blouse with a revealing scoop neck that showed a liberal amount of her very firm cleavage.
Jamie asked if he could speak to Danny, a young man who we had held a number of encouraging conversations with on earlier visits.
She said, 'He moved out last weekend. I think he got a job and had to move. May I help you?'
Jamie said, 'We got to know Danny quite well over the last few weeks. Do you know where he is living now?'
'I might have his address. Could you come in for a minute and I'll try and find it for you.'
'Thank you. My name is Elder Jamie and this is Elder Mitchell,' Jamie said introducing us.
'Hi. My name is Monica. I think it's in the kitchen. Come through,' she said.
I watched her very pronounced wiggle as she led us along a passage-way and through a door into her kitchen.
'Take a seat while I look through this pile of papers,' she said.
Just then two more young ladies entered the kitchen behind us and Monica introduced us to her two house mates, Erika and her Vietnamese friend Linh, explaining that we were looking for Danny. With three beautiful women in the room, Jamie looked like he had just won an unexpected prize on his birthday.
Monica said to her friends, 'You're just in time. I badly need a sugar hit. I was about to make a cup of coffee for our visitors. Did you get the sugar Erika?'
'Damn. I forgot. I can go back and get it. Won't be long,' she said as she was about to leave.
I interrupted her. 'I can get it while Monica looks for the address of Danny. Is it far away?'
'No. It's just at the end of the block. You'll need to rush. They'll be closing soon. You'll be back before the kettle boils. Thanks a lot, Mitchell,' Erika said with half a smile and a grateful sigh.
I was away for an hour. I was too late to get to the store before it closed. I knew Monica wanted sugar in her coffee so it seemed important to make the effort to find a place where I could buy it.
I finally found a late night supermarket, bought a pound of sugar for the girls, and returned to what I had come to know as Danny's house. Now I guess we would call it 'The Girls' house'.
Elder Jamie was looking much worse for wear when I returned and I felt guilty leaving him with strangers for such a long time. His shirt had two buttons unfastened, and his hair had become an untidy mess like a bird's nest. He must have been very nervous in the presence of three attractive girls with no-one to help him out if he tried to answer questions that were out of his depth.
The strange thing was the quietness of everybody standing around in their lounge room.
Soon after I had arrived back at the house, Jamie said, 'Time to move Mitch, . . .Elder Mitchell. It was very nice to meet you Monica and Linh and Erika. I hope we can come and visit again. 'Bye for now.'
Jamie had taken control of the situation and it was his resolution to leave. I had been absent and deferred to him, agreeing without question. I felt proud of him that he was in command of the whole situation.
Once I began driving, he said, 'Don't ask me any questions. Just get me to a bar and we have to talk.
'Are you OK Elder Jamie?'
We walked into a bar and sat at a window table with a couple of drinks, and he started to tell me a surprising account of the last hour with the three housemates.
After I left, Jamie was given a glass of water and the girls prepared a snack of a few cookies and cakes while he tried to get the girls engaged in a conversation about his faith.
They carried their food into the lounge and Erika sat next to him on the couch. They appeared to be listening to his spiel about why he believes what he does.
He was distracted by Linh, whose short navy blue skirt rode up her thighs and revealed a pair of bright, hot pink nickers. She kept pulling on the hem of her skirt to remain modest, but it was too short and he saw her nickers a few times. It must have been hard for him to remain on the subject with Linh's legs and Monica's gorgeous tits distracting him.
But it was Erika who proved to be the biggest distraction. She was putting her finger into a small honey-pot and licking her finger to add to a bite from one or other of the cookies. She had begun to touch his arm as she asked him to clarify something he said, then she changed and started touching his leg, moving it closer and closer to the top of his thighs as he kept his part of the conversation moving along.
Then with a finger full of honey, she touched his leg and smeared honey all over the top of his suit pants.
She exclaimed 'Oh Shit. I've put honey on your pants. I'm really sorry, Elder Jamie.'
'That's OK I think,' said Jamie, a bit shocked at this distraction. 'I can clean it off at home.'
Monica said, 'No you can't.' She turned to face Erika and said 'You smeared honey on his pants Erika. You can clean them up for him, and make sure you do a good job. Now get to it.'