This takes place after "Wanda Shacks Up"
Julie was annoyed that he had a free night where he didn't have to run down bail skips or train or watch his toddler daughter Alexis and he was spending it with his boss. To be fair though Springer wasn't thrilled about it either. Both had been drug out against their will by the women in their lives. Wanda and Tanya had insisted that they go out to eat with Diana and Jacob who were planning their wedding.
The dinner was rounded out with the presence of Jacob's best friend Solomon and his girlfriend Adina. Adina was the rare woman who actually had a larger chest than Wanda and her cousins. Adina was so large breasted that she was actually getting more attention from the restaurant staff than the other three girls. It had been years since a waiter hadn't spent the meal finding excuses to stand behind Wanda or one of her cousins to look down their blouses.
It wasn't just the wait staff that was paying Adina more attention. Both Jacob and Springer kept finding their gaze wandering to the pillowy mountains of flesh Adina's pushup bra created. Both Tanya and Diana couldn't help but feel the sting of jealousy at not being the center of attention when out with their men. It was hard to tell who was more upset by her man's wandering eye. Springer was much older and should have been praising god he got to be with the dark chocolatey goddess Tanya who was less than half of his age. Jacob was recently engaged and should have been totally infatuated by his recent fiance's ample charms.
Only Julie was unfazed by Adina and her massive chest. A fact that annoyed the hell out of Solomon. Solomon and Jacob attended boxing classes at Julie's family gym free of charge thanks to the legal work Jacob's father did for Julie. Solomon's father was also a lawyer and provided Solomon with a very comfortable upbringing and a fine legal education. Solomon had the doors open to a luxurious life that money and education could provide. As a result, he could have the pick of just about any young black woman that crossed his path.
Like many black male children of privilege, Solomon wanted the level of physical respect and fear his poorer ghetto counterparts commanded. Julie was able to give off the same dangerous energy as the hardest gang banger despite the fact he had been raised in the white suburbs as Solomon. In fact, Julie actually hunted some of the fiercest thugs in the roughest neighborhoods around. Julie and his white partner Duane commanded as much respect on the streets as any hood superstar.
While Solomon liked Julie just fine, the fact that Julie had what he wanted, filled him with jealousy. A big part of his attraction to Adina had been her massive chest. Solomon was sure that an obvious titty man like Julie would be mesmerized by Adina's huge breasts. To Solomon's great disappointment he watched as Julie all but ignored Adina's generous cleavage in her low cut top.
Julie's indifference frustrated Solomon. He wasn't even sure he was attracted to Adina. The fact that her dad was a prominent pastor at a large black church made a difference for sure. Solomon was looking to run for attorney general someday and Adina was definite wife material politically but Solomon couldn't deny his devastation at Julie's complete indifference to Adina.
Solomon's disappointment was interrupted by his best friend Jacob tapping on his water glass to get the table's attention.
"Me and Diana would like to thank everyone for coming." Jacob said while Diana nodded her agreement.
"As you know we are getting married soon." Jacob continued.
"Too soon." Solomon joked.
"As excited as I am to be getting a new wife to spend my life with, I think my mom is more excited to finally be getting the daughter she always wanted." Jacob continued.
"You certainly tried to compensate for that." Solomon quipped even though no one got the joke.
"As you may or not know my mom had kind of a hippie flower child streak." Jacob said.
"Yeah, she was all about that free love thing before your dad." Solomon joked while everyone else sat stunned at the comfort the two lifelong friends had with each other.
"Solomon's mother of course was famous for playing one of the kung-fu hookers in Dolomite." Jacob joked back.
"Don't be lying on my mom like that." Solomon replied.
"Sorry, actually Sol's mom was a technical advisor on the kung-fu hooker scenes in Dolomite. I didn't mean to say she pretended to be a hooker in a movie. She just made sure the hooker scenes were true to life." Jacob answered.
"Kick your ass later." Solomon said.
"My hippie mom made my dad go camping for their honeymoon. And they spent a week frolicking in the woods." Jacob said.
"That's not all they did in the woods." Solomon said.
"No, actually it wasn't. My mom posed for tons of pictures my dad took of her. They were mostly arty type pictures."
"That's one way to put it." Solomon said.
"My mom was pretty into European folklore and she arranged the photos into a sort of a story album about a wood nymph bringing Spring beauty to the forest." Jacob said pulling out an old photo album from a leather satchel at his feet.
"Oh, shit! I haven't seen that in years." Solomon said recognizing the album.
"You've seen that before?" Adina asked as Jacob opened the album to a photo of a nude twenty-something version of Jacob's mom with her back to the camera.
"Shit, every boy in our neighborhood saw that book. It was the best part of sleeping over at Jacob's house as a kid. I'm surprised the pages come apart after we got done with it." Solomon joked.
"You let them do that to pictures of your mom?" Adina asked.
"We used to wait till he fell asleep." Solomon answered.
"I'm glad you guys had fun defiling one of my mother's favorite possessions. The photos really were very artistic if you have any appreciation for photography and anatomy as art." Jacob said ignoring Solomon's immaturity.
"Yes, they are baby." Diana added.
"Which I want you guys to keep in mind while I ask a favor of you ladies." Jacob said nodding to Tanya and Wanda.
"Uh-oh, favor time." Solomon quipped.
"My mom didn't come from money the way my father did. So she always put a premium on thoughtful gifts rather than expensive ones." Jacob said.
"Or another way to put it was that she gave cheap gifts." Solomon joked.
"Actually Sol this gift isn't cheap at all. It was decades in the making and if you include the money dad spent on building and maintaining the cabin on the lake, it might be a million-dollar present." Jacob corrected.
"Shit, your mom's not giving you the cabin for your wedding is she?" Solomon asked.
"No Sol. My mom loves the cabin and the woods and everything. No over the years she has scouted out the forest and lake around the cabin and found the best backdrops for her new photo series." Jacob said.
"New series?" Solomon asked.
"Yes, my mom spent years coming up with a new story. She hired a photographer with two female assistants to help the other models shoot another photo storybook for our wedding present." Jacob said.
"Other models?" Solomon asked.
"Yes, my mom wants to tell a story about a clan of Laurel Nymphs joining with a clan of fruit nymphs." Jacob said.
"Fruit nymphs and Laurel nymphs?" Wanda asked.
"It's from Greek mythology." Jacob answered.
"It basically means a nude chick streaking through the forest." Solomon said.
"Sol, I'm trying to get something done here." Jacob said annoyed.
"Sorry. I'll try and be good." Solomon promised.
"My mom worked really hard writing a new wood nymph story. She wrote parts for me and Diana and..." Jacob said pausing.
"Here it comes." Solomon said before Adina nudged him in the ribs with her elbow.
"It would mean a lot to my new mother-in-law." Diana said.
