"Grief can manifest itself in so many ways. It can tear through your mind in a way that is hard to fathom. Even through all of that, there is that one sinfully sweet, erotic moment in life when you take the chance of falling over the edge and deciding to LIVE" Lissa
"OH GOD!!!!! PLEAS! NO! GGOD NO!!!!"
Distant screams made her shudder awake. She suddenly felt chill of the night air hitting her bare skin, the cold grass under her feet, complete terror enveloping her consciousness. All of her senses suddenly awake, quietly aware. That ever pleading scream dying away as she realized it was coming from her own lips. She was outside in the trees in the backyard. Wiping the tears from her cheeks and falling to her knees crying like her heart had ripped from her again. Shaking her head to remove that voice calling her to come save him.
At least this time, she had awakened before she had to watch the water engulf him and take him from her. The doctors told her the night terrors would go away. Almost two years now and they seem to be escalating. She turned and walked back to the house trailing mud down the hall making a mental note to wear something to bed from now on.
She turned the shower on as hot as her tired body could stand it and washed the mud from her legs and feet. She stretched as she washed the leaves out her long red hair. She noticed scrapes on her hands and her knees and realized she must have tripped somewhere along the way. Drying her hair and wrapping up in towel she was lost in thought.
During the day she played the part of the most adjusted and completely put together person that she could display. A person with no worries who didn't need anyone's pity. Only a handful of people knew she fell apart at night. Her friends knew the trouble she had sleeping and only one or two of them knew the true extent of it.
She smiled when she thought of them in that computer world where she could truly be herself. She didn't have to be put together or perfect. "Cant beat that", she thought out loud to herself. She started a fire in the fireplace and turned on her laptop. Curling up on the couch talking with her friends knowing they helped her through the night.
There was one that she had flirted with, emailed and called in the darkness of the night. When she would talk to him her body would hum at his words and she would fall apart at the sound of his voice. He knew how hard the nights were on her and did everything he could to distract her. He would chase her all over the internet and they would laugh and play and talk and have companionship...friends... until he would call. That low sexy husky voice would make her moan over and over in his ear. The rumble of his laughter would make her blush all over and his cries in her ear would give her chills and send over the edge calling out to him.