Josie and Alan had been sleeping together for about a year. They had met through work, he the older, successful man, and her the new, capable recruit. It didn't matter that he was married to another woman, or that Josie was in a long-term relationship with another man. They were irresistibly attracted to each other. Their bodies met in perfect sync when they were together. The orgasms were simultaneous and mind-blowing. Secret moments were stolen during the week; sometimes she'd come to his office and they'd do it frantically on his desk. Josie had taken to going for walks in the evening, for her health she told her boyfriend Richard. But once she was around the corner of her street Alan would be waiting in the car. They'd drive off to a deserted car park and fuck like desperate animals, clawing at each other as the car windows steamed up. It was a passionate, obsessive relationship, most probably destructive for the both of them in the long run.
Josie had long given up the hope of Alan leaving his wife for her. At times she would get angry, resentful of the commitment he made, and want to ring up his wife and reveal all. Sometimes she would tell herself she would end it, that she loved Richard too much and that he was all she needed. It was during one of these times that Richard proposed to her. Saying yes to marriage made her feel like a new woman. She would be committed to Richard and him alone. She would settle into married life and start again, without the shame that being an adulteress brought.
Against her better judgement she allowed one more meeting with Alan. He deserved to be told it was over in person. He was allowed to come to her home, Richard out at work all day. Josie resisted touching Alan when he arrived, leading him into the lounge without making eye-contact. He immediately knew something was wrong, but he didn't worry too much. She had tried to break it off before, and she always came back begging for more.
"Richard and I are getting married." Josie stated matter-of-factly as Alan took a seat.
"Are you?" Alan couldn't think of anything else to say.
"Yes. He proposed two days ago and I accepted." She paused. "I...I love him." Josie could still not look Alan in the eye. Her heart was beating fast and despite herself she felt her pussy twinging with the familiar presence of Alan.
"I know you do. And he loves you." Alan stood up. "And I love you."
Josie looked up into Alan's face. "It doesn't matter." She felt like she would throw up.
"Maybe it does" Alan reached out and touched her face. Josie shied away from his touch and crossed the room.
"No. What we had was wonderful, but I'm moving on. I wanted to tell you in person. You can move on too." Josie indicated the conversation was over, standing by the doorway.
Alan walked silently across the room stopping by Josie. He could hear her breathing deeply. He touched her face again, this time she tried to move away but backed into the wall. He moved quickly, holding her face and kissing her, pressing her body against the wall with his. She accepted his kiss and he felt her getting more excited as her hands moved up his body towards his shoulders. Josie was rhythmically pushing herself into Alan as they kissed deeply. He groaned into her mouth and moved one hand under her shirt collar feeling her neck, then further down to her collarbone. She started to moan at his touch, but suddenly pushed his face away with her hands.
"No!" She stepped into the hallway. "You have to leave." She held the front door open for him.
Alan was catching his breath after the kiss. He slowly walked toward the door. She was avoiding his gaze again.
"You know where to find me if you change your mind" Alan said as he left. Josie closed the door with relief, and then began to cry.
It was 5 months since Josie had seen Alan. It was also her wedding day. Richard had agreed to a short engagement at Josie's suggestion. She really wanted to get it over with, have it done so she couldn't go back on it. She somehow believed her feelings for Alan would disappear once she said 'I do.'
Everyone was busy around Josie. She sat in her underwear, having her make up applied while bridesmaids and relatives scurried around her, grabbing flowers, adjusting hair and gossiping about outfits. Josie felt like she was in a bubble, in the room but somehow separated from the rest of them. Her mind felt full but she couldn't concentrate on any one thought.
"Jitters are perfectly normal" Josie's sister's voice broke the veil of silence around her.
"What?" Josie asked.
"You're shaking, Jose. It's alright, I was nervous before I got married too. It doesn't help Aunt Marie is running around like a chicken with its head cut off. She'll calm down once the ceremony starts, and so will you."
"Right. It's fine. I'm fine." Josie mustered a smile.
