Where We Left Off

Ah, junior high. Those were the days, and they seemed like so long ago. Nick and I would sit in the back of the study hall as morning announcements were on, and he'd have his arm around me, whispering in my ear. I was only 13 at that time, he was 15. I always got the feeling Nick might be more than a friend.

He dated other girls -- more than I cared to keep track of, actually -- but while he'd usually lose track of them, he stayed friends with me. I joined the color guard, just so I could be in marching band with him.

The last day of the season his senior year, he escorted me behind the concession stand during third quarter break. I can only remember thinking:

What's about to happen, and am I going to regret it tomorrow?

But other than a long, heavy making out session, nothing happened. The break was too short.

We never went any farther. He met Sarah a few weeks later, and after high school, he married her and had a daughter. I stayed reasonably close friends with his sister, Mandy, for a while. However, she joined the Army right out of high school, and found herself in the Middle East a few years later. I guess we just grew apart.

Then the news came. It was the toughest day of my life. Corporal Amanda Rockwell had been killed by a suicide bomber.

With a feeling of almost guilt about it, I headed to the local bar. That's where I ran into Nick. He saw me and waved for me to come over. I sat down next to him and ordered a beer.

"I take it you're here for the same reason I am," he said, taking a swig of his beer.

"I guess so. It hit me hard. I hadn't talked to Mandy in ages. . .there's so much I would have loved to say to her."

"It isn't easy. I got divorced a few months before she left. Mandy was so much help to me the weeks that I had Casey."

"Oh, I'm sorry."

We chatted a little as I downed my beer. Before I realized it, he had his hand on my leg, creeping up my thigh.

"You wanna go back to my place?" he asked.

Oh, I shouldn't. I've never done anything like this before. It's not me. Then again, this was my dream twelve years ago.

My mind was racing.

I must have said yes, because the next thing I knew I was in his house, laying on his bed, the room lit only by the moonlight.

"Jenna, you aren't going steady with anyone right now, are you?" Nick asked as he took his shirt off.

"No, never have, really. You having second thoughts?"

"No," he replied. "Not if you're game."

"I'm game," I replied.

I've been game. I've been waiting for this day. It should have happened a long time ago.

He climbed into the bed, crawling on top of me. He kissed me ever so gently.

More, please!

I wrapped my arms and legs around him.

You've been teasing me for too long!

I felt his tongue separate my lips. Oh, that taste again! I remembered it so clearly, but I hadn't felt that way since the football game. He kept teasing me, gently licking my lips and running his hands all over my body.

"You've changed," he murmured in between kisses. "You used to hide those feelings."

I wanted to tell him how I wanted to succumb back then. . .if I didn't know that school wasn't the time or place for that, I probably would have. But the taste of him on my tongue was too good to lose.

As he guided his hands gently under my blouse, I shuddered in delight. I used to get that feeling, every time he even got near me. This was that feeling tenfold. He ever-so-carefully unbuttoned my blouse, slipping it off of my shoulders. After he unhooked my bra, he slid his hands down to my waistline. The only sound I could make was a passionate moan as he took my pants off.

He pushed his finger inside me.

"You've never gone this far before, have you?" I shook my head, still unable to speak.

"I can't promise it won't hurt," he said, tugging my panties off, leaving me stark naked.

Waiting this long hurt me more than any physical pain,

I thought. This was the moment of truth.

Finally, he slipped into me. I couldn't contain myself anymore. I pressed my lips to his, moaning in delight. And then he began pounding, pounding, pounding. . .I screamed, louder than I thought even possible. I was trying to keep a hold on him, trying not to let my hands slip from his sweaty body.

And in that moment, I forgot about my fallen friend, the war, and the whole world

.

In my mind, I was back in high school, behind that concession stand. And this time, the story was going down the way I wanted it written.

Finally, he collapsed on top of me, panting hard. In the dim light, I could see the sweat dripping from his face.

I didn't want it to end. It was all hitting me now, and that included the pain that Nick had warned me about. It felt like a part of my life was over. Confused, I had to fight back tears.

I woke up the next morning, still in the nude, still in Nick's bed. I sat up, trying to make sense of it all.

Nick, roused by my waking up, turned his head.

"Thanks, Jenna, for last night. I wanted that for a long time."

"You mean that?"

"You know," he began, "I always wondered why we were never serious. I think half the reason Sarah and I fizzled is because I kept thinking of you when we made love."

"Oh. . ." I leaned over, wrapped my arms around him and kissed him.

He smiled. "I guess it was just that the time was right. You wanna get back together sometime?"

I hesitated to answer. I was wondering if I was still asleep.

"You don't have to. . ."

"Yes, Nick," I squeaked. "I'd love to."

"You free tonight?"

"I'll be here."

I had dreamed of this day, all those years ago. Now it was real. I helped Nick change the sheets, and after that I went home, knowing that the past nine years had only changed our relationship for the better. I was still in pain from the encounter, but it was a good pain.

And best of all, I knew that it wouldn't be long before I'd get the chance to feel that feeling all over again.