Which Wife? 03
"Ben! Ben! When did you get here, honey (kiss, kiss)."
"Oh, hey mom, um, I've been here for a minute or two, but damn momma, some of your friends seem so helpless and all, so. Anyways, it's a great party as usual, so."
"Oh honey, my social friends aren't helpless and needy (well, they are, but I think Helen can hear us, so). Anyways, ugh, son, you know I don't like that you drink those energy drinks!"
"Well, I'm just running low on energy, mom, I mean, you know how hard I work an all, so."
"I know, honey, but listen, I have to tend to these old hens, so I have to run, um, but your old mom looks pretty good today, right?"
I mean, with mom's money, her looking good was the easy part, but I'm the good son, so.
"Like a million bucks as usual mom, so watch out for the men around here."
"Ahh, that's why you're my favorite son, but listen, um, if Mrs. Irving needs any, well, Ivy has special needs from time to time, so if she needs help finding the bathroom in the rec room in the basement and all, I mean, just help her down the basement steps and all, alright Ben? And no more energy drinks!"
Oh, well, I mean, since when did snooping around become a special bathroom needs and all, right? But whatever.
"Huh, you know what, Mrs. Irving, I have never ever called you Ivy, so hello Ivy, I'm happy to see you today and might I add that your dress sure seems to fit the theme of mom's garden party and all, so."
"Oh, um, thank you, Ben and my o my have you grown since that night I messed up and role played your Ironic Wife, right? I mean, it was quite ironic how I confused you for your uncle and sucked you off at your mom's spring festival party, right Ben?"
"Ahh, it may have been a mistake, but my uncle's loss was my gain, like what, twice?"
"Well, it was dark and all, so."
"Anyways, I mean, what color pills would you be looking for today then, Mrs. Irving?"
"Oh, if my Ironic Wife memory serves me correctly, LOL, I don't need any blue pills for you, but if your momma happens to have a few purple pills laying around, I mean."
"Oh, oh, like deep purple or light purple then? And by the way, Mrs. Irving, you've yet to let your tits out for me, Ivy Irving or Ironic Wife style, so."
"Well, let's just go see about the color shade of those pills then, Ben."
[Suckle, slurp, yum, um, um, oh, slurp, sucky, sucky, squeeze, massage, ooh, um, um, ow, ow, slurp.]
"Trade off with me, Ben, I have a mouth too, baby."
[Slurp, slurp, lick, lap, lap, lap, lick, slurp, lick, kiss, kiss, kiss, gag, gag, ga, ga, ooh.]
"Swallow hard, Ironic Wife, make it count!"
[Gulp, swallow, ooh, gulp, swallow, gulp, um, hm, gulp.]
"Ben, I mean, my son Josh and you, right?"
"Oh, I would never let Josh know that you have been my amazing and hungry Ironic Wife since the days of our sleep overs, so."
"Well, push that medium purple pill down my throat with your tongue then, Ben."
[Mwah, ummah, mwah, umma, mwah, ow, ow, ag, ag, ag, ah, ug, ug, ug, ummah, mwah.]
"Oh, well, oh my, I mean, I'm at a wonderful party, so push another pill down my throat then. I mean, it says to take with food and you just filled my belly and all, so."
[Mwah, ummah, mwah, umma, mwah, ow, ow, ag, ag, ag, ah, ug, ug, ug, ummah, mwah.]
"Whew, wow, I mean, don't be such a stranger around my house then, but I should get a move on before someone starts asking questions."
"LOL, like uncle Ted?"
"Well, I didn't know that you were going to be here today Ben and all, but I promise and swear, I'm just your Ironic Wife and there will be mixing of proteins in my belly today, so????"
[Mwah, ummah, mwah, umma, mwah, ow, ow, ag, ag, ag, ah, ug, ug, ug, ummah, mwah.]