I woke with a start. Something was making a lot of noise over the storm and it took me a few seconds to get my bearings. The digital clock by my bed said 3:41am and there was banging on the outside of the RV. I quickly put on some clothes, grabbed a flashlight, some tools and a 9mm Glock I keep on hand, you know, just in case. Opening the door, I cautiously peered out into the storm. Snow was coming down, or more accurately, coming sideways and drifting against the side of the RV. I couldn't see any moon or stars so there must be a cloud cover. Shining the flashlight on the roofline of my coach, I saw one of the solar panels had broken loose and was hanging from a cable. I moved out the door and stepped into about a foot of fresh snow coming over the bottom step. Walking around the back, I climbed the ladder to the roof and quickly replaced the panel, screwing it into place. It didn't seem to be damaged and neither did the side of the coach, so I thanked my lucky stars. I checked the other panel and satellite dish, which were both in good shape.
After climbing down the ladder I did a final sweep of the area with my flashlight. That's when I saw itโsomething in the snow near the roadโor at least where I thought the road should be. It was a flash of color in the sea of white. I approached it cautiously, curiously. As I got closer, I could make out what appeared to be a glove. Why would someone throw a glove out here? I carefully grabbed one of the fingers and the glove popped up, but something fell out of itโa hand! A small hand that fell lifelessly back to the snow. I grabbed the hand and found it was attached to a body under the snow. I quickly dug the body out and saw that it was a young woman. I checked for a pulse and breath. Yes! She was alive, but just barely.
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I had grown a rather nice beard. I thought it looked goodโmade me look professorly. But the truth was I grew it because I didn't care enough to shave. The house was a mess with dirty dishes overflowing the sink and newspapers everywhere. Weeks ago I had let my housekeeper Gloria go because I couldn't stand to have anyone see me in this condition. I was sitting in my living room eating chili from a can, watching my favorite soap when there was a knock on the door.
I froze. "Go away go away go away go away" I silently pleaded, "Please just go away."
After about a minute of knocking, silence. Just as I started to think the intruder had left, I heard the terrifying sound of keys in the lock.
I wanted to run but it was like I was stuck to the cushions on my sofa. Slowly the door swung open and there stood my sister Suzy.
"Jesus Christ Mike," she said, taking in the room, "what the fuck have you been doing?"
"Uh...nothing," I weakly stammered.
"Yeah, no shit. You're a goddamn mess." she said, looking at the clutter that was, well, all over.
"This place is a disaster! What the hell happened to Gloria?"
"I...uh...let her go."