Bowen and Norma, Off and Running
The time did come, however, for Norma and I to give each other a rundown of our sexual histories. Each of us knew something about the other but only in bits and pieces. I was aware of Male Rule #1: "Never Tell Her Everything". I'm equally sure there is an equivalent Female Rule#1 which reads: "Always Make Him Think That You've Told Him Everything. But I thought, "Rules...Schmules!" If Norma and I were going to marry, I might as well give here whole story. But then my "Whole Story" wasn't much of a story to begin with so there wasn't much of a risk for me. Norma, on the other hand....who knew?
Norma and I sat down at the dinette table at my apartment. I had brewed a pot of coffee, anticipating that our session might last in to the night. I shouldn't have bothered.
I showed Norma my list, which was actually short, three names: Trudy, Jacqueline,and Dorothy.
Norma gave me a sidewise glance, "Cowboy, do you want me to believe that in your whole life...your WHOLE life...you've only had sex with three women? Really?
"Let me preface all this with an explanation," I was using my teacher's voice, "I grew up in a pretty straight laced family. I was an only child. I can't say that I was a result of the only time they had sex but it had to be one of a very few times they did it. I am almost positive that, after I was born, they were content with having just one child and dispensed with sex from then on. I never observed anything that I would identify as sexy between them, let alone any clue that they were having actual sex. Neither of them took the time to fill me in on what sex was and how one was to go about it. I had to accumulate the information haphazardly for myself and much of it was erroneous. I wouldn't say I was backward when it came to sex but...well...that's the truth.
"So, here's the list:
"Trudy: She was a Senior in high school and I was a Junior. I was smart and she was clever...and sexy..I can't leave that out. In exchange for writing her English and History essays, she would give me hand jobs...well... and an occasional blow job. We didn't actually do any fucking. We got close a couple of times but she didn't want to get pregnant and I was too timid to by condoms. So, there...that's that,
"Jacqueline: She was my college equivalent of Trudy, and on the same basis, only Jacqueline did enjoy having actual sex. We did this routine for one school year, we were both Freshmen, and then she dropped out of school--to marry her boyfriend. So, I guess what can be said of that was that I wasn't really a 'third wheel', I was more of a 'spare tire',
"Dorothy: My relationship with her was when I was in my senior year of college. We had fun sex and she is really the one who brought me out of my shell sexually. But it all ended when I graduated from college and headed off to here for my teaching job. Dorothy simply didn't want to move with me and we went our separate ways. In an odd sense, I recognized that it was just a 'convenient' relationship and didn't have much depth at all,
"That's IT! You were the next...and only...since I hit this burg. What else can I say?"
Norma looked stunned, "Really? REALLY? Is that all? What was the matter with those broads? Didn't they have any appreciation for you? I mean couldn't they at least have formed some of attachment with your cock? I am utterly mystified!"
"Well, Norma, I'm not exactly sure why," I reflected as I spoke, "my best guess is that maybe they thought I wasn't in their league, or thought other people or things were more important at the time. Who knows?"
Norma produced two pages from a yellow legal pad which were filled, single spaced, both from top to bottom. My heart dropped into my stomach. "What if, " I thought, "those pages were filled in both front and BACK!" As I found out. much to my relief, they weren't! But, still, TWO whole pages? Man!
"Cowboy! Don't jump the gun," Norma was quick to explain, "there isn't one person for every line! I have a couple or three lines for each one, if that's any consolation."
She put the yellow sheets on the table, smoothed them out. I could see that the sheets were set up in columns and rows, with color-coded highlighting. Norma put her finger on her first entry.
"So, Cowboy, I can take these in chronological order--first to last or last to first--I can do them alphabetically; I can do them by age, I can do them by gender...what's your preference?"
Much subdued, I asked, "Just tell me to start, Norma, how many people do you have listed there, if you have an exact count. I'd like to know that first."
Norma gave it a quick count just to re-verify her numbers, "Twenty-Two. But that's only before I met you. It is actually twenty-five if I include you, Mona, and Ms. Bloomfield but you already know about those. No...wait...it is actually twenty-seven. I just remembered the guy at the school office I gave a blow job to so I could get your address and phone number and the blow job I gave my friend who lets us use his house for sex weekends. I only blew each of them once, though, so they hardly count at all, the way I look at it."
I thought, "At least, it's good to know what some of the criteria are for 'SEX'....Blowjobs hardly count?"
"So, what's the breakdown, Norma? I am trying to get a general picture here. I'm not sure I want to hear about each and every one. Or, maybe you can just give me the list to read."
"Oh, Cowboy, don't feel so down. I think you knew I haven't exactly been a nun in a convent before we got together. And I know it might be a little damaging to your male ego, but I wouldn't be willing to tell you all about it if I didn't love YOU. And I do...and I want you to know all about me...and my sex life if we're going to be together."