You just can't know what it's like. Here I was, 41 years old, fresh out of almost 10 years parked for popping the guy I caught screwing my woman.
Hit him too hard, my mistake. I was sorry about that, but they made me pay.
God I paid. I paid with time, I paid with the wife gone, she divorced me of course. Everything I owned in the world, all gone.
Even my Chevelle, I loved that machine. My dog Zodiac, gone too. Dead likely, by the time they gave me some clothes and a dab of money and kicked me out.
I didn't want to go out, it scared me. You won't understand if you haven't been there. There are rules, structure. Things are taken care of, we get fed. Everything right on time.
It becomes normal.
Oh, I finally got a job, a tiny place to live. My boss Gabe was cool, he gave me a chance, I grabbed at it. Busted my ass for that man, I wanted to succeed.
I was a convicted felon, that meant no hunting, I couldn't touch a firearm, no voting, lots taken from me for all time.
Punishment never ends. So I busted my ass, I worked hard, I handed in every single penny, honest to the point of ridiculous.
I killed a man, you see. Now I probably did that when my government told me to go fight a war, sent me out as a target for people hiding in jungles to take potshots at. I am sure I killed some there, but I don't know for 100% sure. Most of that was firing off in the general direction.
One day I felt a sting and I went down. A free ticket home, I took it. You would too, way it was.
Pretty wife and I picked up where we left off, that lasted just a few months. I came home early one day, caught them. My life ended that day, there was a fight, I belted the guy. Thorn in my side for years, my wife Patti just would not let that go. Hell, she should have been with him, not me.
I don't know why she wasn't. So I reacted, hit the guy.
Yep, too hard.
Then 10 years went by, and I was standing on the street, wondering where I could go. The government found me the job, I was grateful.
I tried on my own, people take one look at me and get frightened. I am big, 244#. My waist is 36", I have arms no one believes. All I do is lift weights and work out. I had a goal once to do 100,000 pounds in one day.
I went past that. By a lot.
Yep, big.
Nothing else to do. Until that party. That woman, Sara. She pushed, I tried to squirm, get away from her. She had none of that. She somehow made me masturbate for her while she did it for me, then she brought over her friend Cindy.
My mind went nuts, I had not even touched a woman in over 12 years. The only ones I ever saw were the housewife types that came in and let me see a nipple or some pantihose while I did my job in the gas station.
One thing, then another. All of a sudden I had a sex life, I had pointedly been avoiding women up until then.
Cindy showed up by herself later that 2nd time, in minutes we were fucking like minks. Sara popped in and in no time was right in the middle of that, I had two willing women in my tiny little apartment, on my cot, naked.
Hey, it was fun, my IQ dropped the usual 40 points.
It lasted a Month or so, it started out as 2-3 times a week, then it was one or the other every day. I didn't ask any questions, should have. None of my business, though, learned that inside, don't ask.
It got so I couldn't finish a workout session, one or the other or both would knock on my door. That by itself was a huge change, nobody ever knocked on my door in the years I worked for Gabe, my boss. Well, unless something was broken they wanted me to fix.
Sex. Sex every day, I began to get used to it again. When I was married to Patti it was sex every day. Changes either way are a shock to the system.
One day I was working out, about halfway done. There was a knock on my door. Expecting either Cindy or Sara, I answered. Here stood some guy.
I looked him up and down, trying to figure out if he was a Cop or some official.
Yep, all that in the back of my mind, I still had a dab of probation to do. Not much, but some. Enough that one fuckup and I was right back in the joint.
"You Dan?"
"Yeah."
"I want to ask you some questions."
I meekly opened the door, let him in.
He walked in, looked around. I sized him up, big guy, close to my size, but I had upper body size on him by a lot.
"You know Cindy?"
No fucking around, to the point.
"Yes."
"Fucking her?" A sneer on his face.
"Yes." I don't dare lie.
"Do it again and I will kill you!"
He was angry, I was getting it. Exactly what I didn't want.
"Hey, I don't...."
"Shut the fuck up!"
I just stood there.
"Cindy is mine, I want you to leave her alone, she isn't going to be with a piece of crap like you, bud."
"Hey, she is free, white and..." I started.
He hit me in the face.
I just stepped back.
He hit me again.
I just took it.
"I know about you, asshole."
His hand came back to hit me again, I reached out and grabbed his balled fist. Bore down. Hard. His mouth came open, knees folded.
I let go.
"Don't hit me again."
"You will go back to jail for that!"
I just looked at him.
Fuck.
Right on schedule, two police officers arrived, asked me a ton of questions. I just told them the truth.
I expected arrest. But they left, I grabbed my weights and started in, I guess it was 3-4 hours.
I went to work the next day, normal. Gabe asked me about the bruise on my face, the cut on my lip.
I just shrugged. I got through the day, headed for my room.
"Hey!" came a voice. I looked back, the same guy and 2 others. I thought about running to my room, but I never did run very well.
"What?"
"Time to teach you a lesson, asshole."
They were on me. One had a length of chain, one had a short bar, the guy was standing back a bit, waiting. Hell, I didn't even know his goddam name.
I tried to block the blows, the one guy was heavyset, swinging that damn piece of chain. I managed to push the smaller guy back, but my head exploded and I went down.
As my head cleared, I was pinned back against the wall, one on each side holding my arms. The jerk was saying something, I saw him draw back, then hit me in the stomach. It didn't hurt, he might as well have been hitting the wall behind me.
He hit me again. Then in the face, that pissed me off. I just pulled, the jerks on each side went flying, I reached for the one in front, got my hands on him. His face changed, went to shock, I had him up to throw when I heard a yell.
"Dan!"
It was Carlos, my friend and fellow worker at the shop.
I set the guy down, it was over. They had thought they could handle me, but two of us was too much. Carlos went with me up to my apartment, cleaned up the tear in my ear where the chain had laid me open.
I asked Carlos the questions I should have asked before but didn't. The guy was Terry, Gabe's son. Seems he was an item until I arrived on the scene.
Nothing I could do, I knew what was coming. My PO is a weasily little black guy who delights in having total power. Always yapping about no firearms and keep my nose clean. Always threats of back to the joint if he even smells some kind of trouble.
I am an easy 80 pounds bigger than him and he makes me call him "Sir" as he sneers at me and makes me feel like crap. Sometimes his eyes are big as saucers and he is buzzing on some shit and he looks down on me.
Sure as hell I was going to be fired anyway for jacking my boss's kid. I had never met him before, didn't know there was one. Like I said, didn't ask.
Carlos left, I didn't go to the shop, just sat and waited. I thought I knew what was coming. It was probably 4-5 hours later, knock on the door.