Note to readers: unexpectedly I now have free time and taking the opportunity to practice writing. I haven't written much beyond emails, presentations, and summary memos for more than a decade. This is my first effort so please be gentle.
Blair's Day at the Pool
While most people get holidays like President's Day and others, when you work at an auto shop, those holidays are often the busiest of the year. So while Blair, my wife of 5 years, had a day off from teaching at the Montessori school, I had to go into the shop at noon and relieve the morning shift. At least I got a leisurely morning, even though I dreaded the coming slog.
After more than a little grumbling at Blair about her getting the day off and her responding, "too bad so sad," I did manage to ask her what she would be doing while I was toiling away at the shop.
"Kelly invited me over to her house. She got the pool filled up last week and we are going to hang out and get started on a tan." My brain froze for a moment, picturing Kelly in a swimsuit. At 30, Kelly was stunning. Mostly stunning because of her enormous breasts. Now, I really like Blair's boobs, at a very firm 36D cup. But dang -- Kelly's boobs are the type you only see in naughty movies. I wouldn't even be able to guess the cup size.
"Hello. Ground control to Major tom." That is Blair's way of calling me out when I drift off. "You're thinking about Kelly's boobs again, aren't you. You're such a perv." Even though she was tapping her foot, she also had a knowing smirk. We've previously talked quite a bit about Kelly's boobs. Fortunately, as I mentioned, Blair has nothing to be ashamed about and isn't at all jealous of my drooling.
"Oh, yeah!" I drawled with my tongue hanging out. "Er, I mean, um, no! I'm just jealous that you have the afternoon off and I don't get to be there to slather sunscreen on them. I mean you!" Blair playfully punched my arm and called me a perv again.
"If I have to be at work, the least you can do is send me pictures during the day to keep me sane," I said as I started for the door to head to work.
Blair squinted, "I'm not sending you pictures of Kelly's boobs!"
I actually hadn't meant that, but now that it was in my head, "Sorry. I actually did mean pictures of you. But you know, now that you mention it..." I trailed off in thought. "Really though," I continued more seriously. "Please send me pictures of you during the day."
Blair smiled a little at that. "Maybe." Kelly and Blair teach at the same school and had become friends over the last year. It turns out Kelly's husband was some kind of sleezeball and got caught trying to extort a co-worker and ended up getting put in jail. Kelly took that as an opportunity to divorce him and keep the house and cars.
I'd been at the shop about an hour when my watch vibrated. I looked at it to see a notification of a text and pic from Blair. It took everything I had to not tell the customer I was working with to hold on a second. After about 5 minutes explaining the risk of bald tires, the customer finally relented and opted for the cheapest option available.
On normal days we only need one person staffing the customer counters. There are 2 separate counters a few feet apart and today, with the rush, my colleague Larry and I were both pretty busy.
I finally got a chance to unlock my phone and take a look at what she sent me. It was a picture of the pool. No people, just the pool. I mean, it is a nice pool I haven't been to. And it looks like a private yard with woods behind the pool.
Me: that's a pool
Blair: You said you wanted a picture of the pool. I sent one for you!
Me: I don't think I asked for pictures of the pool.
Blair: What? Maybe you didn't specify.
I was about to reply when another customer came in to pick up their car after some brake work. 10 minutes later I got back to my phone.
Me: Sigh. Ok, I'll specify. I want pictures of them... I mean you at the pool.
I was going to try to find an emoji of a bikini but a couple more customers came in. The next 30 minutes was a constant rush of people dropping off or picking up cars. I felt my watch vibrate several times but couldn't take a moment to check.
Blair: emoji of rolling eyes
Blair: You're at work. I don't want anyone to see you opening a picture of me with pasty white skin. [another picture of the pool from a slightly different angle]
Blair: Are you there? Ok. Here's a picture of me at the pool [picture of a pair of feet with the pool in the background].
Me: Aw. Please! I promise not to show anyone except Bill.
For backstory, Bill is a co-worker that we joke about being hot for Blair. About a year ago there was a get together and Bill got a bit drunk. He was trying to chat up Blair and she was being polite and letting him. At one point I had to hit the head and when I came out everyone was standing up and laughing, pointing at Bill who stood there soaked from having a full pitcher of beer poured over his head. I learned later that he had tried to grab Blair's ass and she dumped the beer on him in response. Eventually, a couple of guys agreed to drive him home, one guy driving Bill's car.
When a woman is as hot as Blair I guess they get used to such things. And I'm not the jealous type so something minor like that didn't bother me. I knew that Blair wasn't going to be swayed by Bill and she knew how to handle herself. She's regularly hit on when we go to bars and knows how to decline the advances, often after a bit of flirting. Only once have I had to intervene when a guy started to get aggressive and not listening to the "no" response. I stepped between them and was about to surprise him with a head butt to his nose (nobody ever expects that move). Before I could do that though, one of the bouncers came up from behind him and immobilized him with a full nelson. The bouncer frog-walked the guy to the bar and told him to pay his tab, leave a big tip, and get out.
But I digress. Anyway, Blair and I talked about what happened with Bill and we both pretty much laughed it off as him being drunk and her handling the situation. The next time Bill and I worked the same shift, he sheepishly apologized to me and asked me to apologize to Blair.
A few months after the Bill incident he came up again in a conversation. Well, I was playing a video game and have to admit I was only half paying attention to what Blair was saying. After killing a boss baddie it struck me that I hadn't heard her say anything for a while. I paused the game and turned to her, knowing I was about to get the stink eye.