I have been showing images of myself, well if I'm honest, which you all know I am, Hubby has been showing images of me, for a few years, on private and very selective sites. We or rather he, has encouraged me to do more and more daring poses, following the reactions of guys and often girls, who comment on them. Hubby loves to shoot images of me and will spend hours selecting the best ones, editing them, trying them in black and white etc and to be fair, he's pretty good at it. Me, I love to see that at my age men and the occasional woman find me a turn on, which is good for the old ego.
So it was, that as I sat one miserable wet morning in November last year looking at the comments on a new shot of me, I spotted a rather odd, well at least odd to me, comment.
'Hey, you are gorgeous. Do you cam?' Paul.
'Do I cam?' I had never thought of or even tried to 'cam'. If I'm honest, I wasn't even sure how to cam, let alone do it. So I left it there. I left it there, but the thought wouldn't stay left. It began to eat away at my thoughts. I found myself thinking about cam, or as I discovered, 'camming' as it's known. I hadn't even done a video call to my Hubby and was really in the dark ages when it came to this new way of thrill seeking. Nope, nope, I would let this go and so let it go I did...for at least a week.
Then there he was again, but this time it was a personal message on our profile page.
'Sorry if I upset you with my request, it's just that you're stunning and I'd love to chat on cam, you don't have to show your face or anything' Paul.
So, intrigued about this Paul, I checked him out. I looked up his profile. On his profile was scant information and only one photo of him and he was not naked, topless, but not naked. At least it wasn't the usual 'cock shot' only image. He was young, or so he claimed, but don't they all. He was in the U.K and he was quite polite in his comments to other ladies. Hmmm, maybe checking out this camming game might not be so much risk, I mused. Next stop Amazon. There I was sat baffled on the lounge floor, laptop balanced on my knee, checking out webcams that were not too expensive and offered what I guessed was a good spec. Basically I had no idea what to buy, but £20 couldn't be too much of a risk, surely?
"Can I go on cam with a guy called Paul?" I dropped like a very large casual bomb into our lunchtime conversation that Saturday.
Well there's only one way to get things out in the open and that's to talk about them, right? Hubby, was not as shocked or even angry as I thought he might be. Showing images of me is one thing, but this, he might see as a step too far. He didn't. He was surprised, yes, but not upset or angry. He was slow in his reply, but then he often is.
"What do you want to do?" he questioned me. "How far do you want to go?"
He added, putting his bacon roll down on the plate and looking me in the eye. How far did I want to go? That hadn't crossed my mind, until now. Would Paul want me to get naked? Would he get naked? Would he expect me to do more than just, if you can 'just' that is, get naked.
"Erhh," I struggled to get my thoughts out. "I'm not sure."
I managed, and with that I guessed I perhaps wasn't ready to take this huge leap of faith or was it madness. Nope it was a step too far, Hubby was right. If I didn't know what I was getting into, or even what I wanted to get out of it, then perhaps I shouldn't, so once again I put it, or at least tried to put it, to the back of my mind. I say I tried, but it stayed 'mid mind' and the longer it stayed there, the more it played on my curious side.
Paul was the first and so far only man who had contacted me and asked the question. He had been polite, not threatening, or pushy and made me feel like I wanted to at least push myself to have a go. So it was some three weeks later that once again I asked Hubby the question. Only this time I turned it more on him.
"If I was to go on cam with this Paul guy," I began mid way through the miserable rubbish of British Saturday night T.V, "Would you be o.k. with it?"
Hubby stopped moaning at the television, turned the volume down on the remote and swivelling on the sofa he spoke, slowly, with carefully chosen words.
"Jo love," he began. "If you want to cam, get naked and have some safe sexy fun with this Paul, or whatever he's called, then go for it."
I remember being shocked at his apparent lack of upset and concern, so that was it, I could cam, I would. Whether I should, would remain to be seen.
Like a naughty school girl I immediately grabbed the laptop and as Hubby went back to bemoaning the lack of good T.V, I logged onto the site. After finding Paul's last message, that was now at least three weeks old, I typed a hurried and if witnessed, possibly frantic message to Paul.
'I would love to cam with you,' I typed. 'I've set up an account with Skype, here's my addy'.
'CLICK' there, it was sent. Now what? There was an element of anticlimax as I slumped back into the soft sofa, but there was a warm tingle deep inside. The feeling of anticlimax lasted for another five days, as every time I checked my inbox, it was just the same as it had been the day, the hour, the minute before. Perhaps Paul was not keen now. Perhaps my delay had sent him into the arms, well cam, of another hotter more available woman, perhaps... Perhaps I was losing the plot!
"Oh, Jo," Hubby shouted from the kitchen on Friday night, as he made dinner. "That Paul has messaged you; he's free to cam tonight about 9.30." He added, like it was the least news worthy story of the day, "He sounds quite keen."
"Oh my God," I shouted, "Why didn't you say when I came in, what do I do, what do I wear, what time...oh fuck...should I, what do you think?"
I blurted out like a maniac. Hubby, walked into the lounge, pasta plated up and sat down quietly at the table.
"You joining me?" He asked like he had heard none of my inane rant. "Relax," he eventually added.
"Just get the laptop and cam you bought, set up in the bedroom, pop on your tight black dress and heels and WHAM BAM."
He waved his arms in the air and laughed out loud. I must have look crest fallen and lost, as he reached across the table, took my hand in his hand and smiling said calmly, "You look great, you can always just switch him off, and I'm only going to be downstairs if you feel like you need me."
He was right of course. There was nothing to worry about, was there?
Dinner pasted in a blur of small talk. I spoke, nodded and agreed over pasta and cheese cake, but my mind was very much elsewhere. My head was full of doubts and worries. What if he took one look at me and switched me off! What if his profile photo was a fake and he was an old fat rude pig of a man, like some sex predator, what if... Then there I was, sat on the bed the laptop set up in front of me. The webcam perched on the stool from my dressing table, to give a better view; well at least I hoped it might. I had on my very tight, very clingy, short black dress and my highest black high heels. I had also spent the last hour perfecting my make-up and finishing off my look with 'Blaze Red' lipstick. Hubby said I looked stunning and I must admit that moments before I sat on the bed, I had smiled at how well I looked in the full length mirror. 'Oh Paul,' I thought. 'I hope this is going to be fun, and what
you expect.'
My worries about whether this was going to be fun or not was cut short by the weird tones coming from the laptop. It was Skype and to be more accurate, it was Paul. Hubby blew me a kiss as he left the room and smiling whispered,
"Have fun and only do what you feel like doing."