Special thanks to HeyAll
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In the summer months, Elise likes to work as a Park Ranger in Sequoia National Park, famous for its giant trees in the southern Sierra Nevada. It allows her to offset the cost of her studies at the University of California, Los Angeles, which is only a four-hour drive away. The better part of her work involves hiking up the trails to remote areas, and ensuring that park regulations are followed. For the most part, it is an easy job; there are typically no more than fifty visitors on any given day at the ranger station. Every time she goes on camp inspection duty, she meets four or five backpackers on average. Furthermore, the majority of campers follows the rules rigorously, and applies the "Leave No Trace" principles with the utmost care and diligence. Only once did she find someone burning wood in a prohibited area, where it could lead to a wildfire, and she has never, in the three years she has worked for the Park Service, encountered anyone feeding wildlife, or leaving trash or food scraps behind.
It is the third week of June, on a warm and sunny Thursday morning, and Elise has been hiking her favourite trail up to Monarch Lake. She is supposed to go on camp inspection duty with a colleague, but he called in sick, so she decided to go up on her own. The Park Service discourages solo outings for its staff, but it's a gorgeous day and she didn't relish the prospect of spending it in the office, answering inevitable questions about nonexistent bear attacks. She knows from the Wilderness Permit log that she should find at most one camper along the trail, a certain Daniel Ellsworth from Palo Alto, California. The spring season was fairly cool, and the trail is still partially covered in snow. As a result, only a handful of backpackers have applied for a Wilderness Permit. Unless someone failed to pick up a permit at the ranger station (a situation for which she is required to issue a citation), she will most likely meet day hikers only.
After an invigorating three-hour hike, she reaches the lake. As she comes near the shore, she notices that someone is swimming. She is impressed. The lake's water temperature at this time of the year does not exceed 50 degrees Fahrenheit. Most visitors just extend their legs in the glacial water, and only the most adventurous dare swim for more than a few minutes at a time.
It's a good opportunity for her to look around for campsites, especially since the swimmer doesn't seem to have noticed her. Over the last three years, she is certain that many campers have seen her coming on the trail and have run back to their camp to clear things up before her arrival. But if the swimmer is in fact Mr Ellsworth, then he's alone, and she will be able to find out how he truly left his gear before going for a dip. Did he leave food unattended? Did he litter? Did he illegally collect firewood?
When she finds his camp, she searches for improper waste disposal and other infractions, she concludes that he must be an experienced backpacker. His camping gear is top-notch. She's also impressed that he has picked the best possible spot. He's exactly 100 feet from the water, clear of dying trees, with a lovely view of the lake at sunset, and has put his backpack and equipment away nicely. She meticulously goes through her inspection checklist and finds only one minor violation. She feels a little guilty having to give him a warning, but that is her job after all, and she has walked several hours up, including the arduous crossing of a boulder field, so she might as well have a quick conversation with him.
She walks down to the shore to talk to him, and notices another violation. Nothing substantial, but she feels that educating backpackers is the best way to keep national parks as pristine as possible for the next generation of hikers and campers. She has the feeling it will be a fun conversation, at least for her. Hopefully he'll get a kick out of it as well. She calls out:
"Hellooo? I am from the US Park Service. Can you come out of the water, please?"
Daniel has been oblivious to the fact that a Park Ranger was going through his belongings. Hearing someone address him, he turns his head towards the voice, with a look of concern. He left all his clothes on the shore. He can see them behind her, bundled near the water. They seem to have fallen off the boulder he had originally placed them on. There is a gentle breeze, but every few minutes a gale comes around and adds a few ripples to the lake surface. And knocks things over, apparently.
"Hi! Er... I'm coming. But I should let you know that I am not currently wearing any clothes."
"You don't need to worry about that. There is no one else around. Just come over."
As Daniel swims back to shore, Elise sees through the crystal clear water that he is indeed stark naked.
Ten feet from the shore, Daniel crouches and looks for a flat surface to stand on, but there are only rocks and slippery pebbles. As he tries to find his footing, he attempts to cover his crotch as best he can, but has no choice but to hold on to shallow rocks with his hands. He inevitably must let the ranger see his full nudity, lest he lose his balance. Elise makes sure to stand right where Daniel is expected to come out of the water. He's never had to walk out of a lake naked in front of a woman, and he's not sure how he should present himself. He slowly walks to her with both hands covering his groin area, since she would presumably be offended by the sight of his exposed genitals.
"Excuse me sir, what is your name? I'm Elise Preston, from the US Park Service."
"Er... I'm Daniel. Ellsworth. Er... I'm going to pick up my clothes and come back."
"Hold on. I'm afraid I can't let you do that. I've just completed an inspection and I cannot let you move anything around until we go through all the violations. Also, I'm going to ask you to remove your hands from your groin area."
"But... er... wouldn't that be considered indecent exposure? Won't I get in trouble?"
"Actually, no. Let me explain; there aren't any rules against skinny dipping. Since I asked you to come out, and you didn't choose to step out of the water in your state of undress, you are not technically in violation of existing indecency rules. That is, as long as you remove your hands. You see, keeping your hands over your groin area could be construed as you touching your genitals, which is tantamount to lewd behaviour. I would have to cite you and radio in other rangers to escort you out. So please remove your hands."
Daniel quickly uncovers his penis and brings his palms up facing her.
"No, no, look. I'm not doing anything. My hands are up here!"
"Good. You can keep your arms by your side, or crossed, or behind your back. Just not... right there." She points towards his penis, which has now returned to its normal size after having previously shrunk in the cold lake water. "Let's proceed with the results of my inspection. The first trouble item is..."
"Are you sure I can't go get my clothes? They're right there. It feels weird being naked like that."
"No doubt. But your clothes are actually one of the violations. And don't worry about your nudity. I'm only here to report on your campsite. It's rather common for visitors to disrobe when swimming here. Whether you have clothes on or not is irrelevant." She wants to say something to make him feel more comfortable, but hesitates before saying it. "I've been known to skinny dip in this lake as well."
Daniel looks at Elise inquisitively. He's used to skinny dipping, but he never thought he'd ever be asked to undergo an interview with an enforcement officer while in the buff. He is embarrassed by the fact that the ranger, in her neatly-pressed uniform, wearing solid boots and a wide-brim hat, is looking at him, while he's naked, dripping with water, and shivering. Although, at the same time, the situation makes him feel strangely empowered. He doesn't quite understand why the ranger insists that he can't put clothes on, though. The rules she mentioned sound arbitrary, and she certainly could be more flexible with respect to their interpretation. On the other hand, she does not show any interest in his body, she talks to him dispassionately, firmly, looking at him straight in the eyes. Maybe she's so focused on her work that she's oblivious to his state of undress?
"OK, let's proceed with the first violation. Please step ahead of me and go to the boulder over there, where your clothes are."
"Can I follow you? I feel uncomfortable walking in front of you."
"I must insist you go ahead. We must keep park visitors within sight at all times during any inspection, for safety reasons." Her statement about safety causes Daniel to frown in disbelief, so she mischievously adds, smiling at him: "You might wield a giant stick and knock it over my head while I'm not watching."
Daniel finds the idea amusing. He's also struck by her radiant smile. When she first hailed him, he'd been expecting a stern lecture about not bringing a bathing suit, but she acts as if it were the most normal and inconsequential thing in the world.
"Yes, the giant stick. The one I have in my back pocket."
"Yes, that one exactly. Mr Ellsworth, you may be hiding treacherous weapons upon your body, so I must ask you to walk ahead of me."
Daniel chuckles. He finds Elise delightful to talk to. The sun and the gentle breeze are starting to dry him off. He's impressed that she is able to conduct herself with such aplomb, in spite of the fact that she is talking to a wet, naked man. His attitude about her starts shifting—she's now less a representative of the law giving him a hard time, and more of an outdoorsy woman, devoting her time to maintain America's best natural spaces. He finds her quite attractive; she is petite, with her pleated pants accentuating her round hips. Her hair is tied in a ponytail under the signature ranger's wide-brim hat.
