(AUTHOR'S NOTE: I'd just like to say thanks to everyone who voted for Amateur Photographer and made it number 1 in the top lists, even if only for a few days. It's much appreciated - and there will be more chapters coming soon).
"What's the matter, Kelly?" I asked, placing my tray of food on the table before sitting down to join her for lunch in the company cafeteria. Kelly looked as though she was about to cry. She was just 19 years old, a junior secretary in the large advertising and marketing firm for which we both worked. She was a lovely, bubbly young girl of whom I was quite fond. She had a heart of gold, and unlike many of the other juniors who worked on her floor, she tried very hard and cared about her job and getting the right outcome for the company and the clients. In my much more senior capacity as one of the account executives I had unofficially taken her under my wing in a sort of big sister capacity, helping her through problems when I could. I liked her and I felt that with a bit of guidance she could have a big future ahead of her. So I was a bit concerned about her apparent state of distress, and now she was struggling to hold back her tears. What could be wrong?
"I, I can't get anyone to help me!" she almost sobbed.
"Help you with what?"
"It's my boyfriend. There is a car show on this weekend, and I promised to model for him at the show with his car – he is a car racing driver – but there's supposed to be two of us, and my girlfriend Shona who was going to do it with me just rang my cell phone to say she can't..."
"That doesn't sound that bad," I said. "Why don't you just do it yourself alone."
"But Rick wanted two girls, and he's got this sponsor he's hoping to get and he's expecting two girls, and I don't know anyone else who can do it with me."
For such a seemingly trivial setback, her forlornness almost seemed comical. But my heart went out to her nonetheless; even though I was so much her senior within the organization – in a roundabout way within the bureaucracy of the firm, I was basically her boss – I counted her as a friend.
"What about hiring professional models?" I asked.
"It's too expensive. We haven't got the money. His racing costs a lot, and that's why it's so important to put on a good show, because of the sponsor – he really needs that sponsor."
She'd been looking down at her food most of the time, pushing her braised lamb around the plate with her fork. She seemed at a total loss. Then, with pleading, anguished red eyes, she looked up at me.
"Anne, I, would you help me? You could do it, it's not much work! Oh, please Anne?"
Me, model in skimpy clothes at a car show? What a suggestion! It was absurd, out of the question, and I had to let her know.
"Kelly, I'd love to help you with this problem, but I can't. It wouldn't be proper for someone in my position."
"Yes, I know," she mumbled. "I'm sorry, I apologize for asking. It's just that I'm desperate – it on tomorrow morning!"
"Well," I said, "maybe something will turn up. Cheer up girl."
We returned to our meals in an uneasy silence. Now she seemed even more dejected. I didn't know what was more disappointing to her: my rejection or the fact that she'd been desperate enough to ask in the first place. I felt almost relieved when my pager beeped a message calling me back to the office to attend to some matters that had suddenly arisen.
"Kelly," I said to her as I got to my feet, "cheer up. Really, it's not the end of the world. I'll drop down later and see you before you go home."
I scurried back to my 13th floor office. As I attended to the drama – a pedantic enquiry about the wording of one of our TV ad campaigns - in the back of my mind the lunchtime encounter with Kelly was troubling me. It hurt me to see her so distressed. But it was more than that. I had to admit that I was also a little ashamed of myself to have so idly dismissed her cry for help with a simple 'it wouldn't be proper for someone in my position'. Were I in her position, I thought to myself, I would have taken that comment as a snub, a put down.
What made me so high and mighty? Yet on the other hand, within this firm I in fact was rather 'high and mighty' – especially compared with Kelly's status. I was only 29 years old, but had worked hard for seven years to rise to the position I now held, which included a great degree of authority and autonomy within the firm, as well as a ludicrously large salary. I was the youngest senior account executive, easily the highest ranking woman in the company. I owned my own home, a top floor unit in a fashionable part of town, and with an easily manageable loan I was about to add small rented flat to my property portfolio. And I had done it all on my own. Life was good; I loved my job, and my job gave me all the good things in life that I could want.
But as I stared out of my window-walled office, absent-mindedly scanning the bustling city vista beneath me, I kept thinking about Kelly and her distress. It kept nagging at me. Maybe I could just hire a pro model for her and pay for it myself? It wasn't as though I couldn't afford it. The more I thought about it, though, the more I realized that it wasn't that I actually wanted to help her at all. Rather it was that I wanted to make myself feel better about having snubbed her, a friend in need. And in any case, while she was my friend, I was also her work superior – there was, I had to admit, something patronizing about throwing money at her that she couldn't afford and, knowing Kelly, she would forever feel as though she was in my debt.
I felt bad about this, and I felt for Kelly. I couldn't help but wrack my brain for a solution. That, in fact is my job: my whole working life revolves around problem solving for others. Was there anyone I knew who could do it? Well, no – it wasn't as though I regularly hung out with bikini models. No one I knew would consider doing such a thing in their wildest dreams.
The more I thought about it this problem, the more it troubled me, the more I kept coming back to the single solution: if she cannot find anyone, I must do it myself. She was in a jam and she asked for my help, because she thought I was her friend. But I snubbed her. So now I must help her. And it wasn't as though I had major plans for Saturday; it was going to be a relaxing day of cleaning the flat, reading, interspersed with a few hours at the gym. Nothing that couldn't be put off till another day. Problem solved.
I got Kelly on the phone.
"Hi Kelly, how are you doing?"
"Not bad," she said.