It was five in the afternoon on a Saturday, and my phone rang.
"Hey T, it's me," said Carol.
"What's going on?" I could tell by the tone of her voice that she had something to tell me.
"My dad's friends from the factory are coming over, for the game. They're going to be here before my dad gets back from work."
"Uh-huh?"
"Well... you know our kissing thing? I was just thinking about that. These guys always kiss me on the cheek. But does the lip-kissing hold for them? For old guys like my dad's friends?"
"Yeah, honey, it does." I covered the phone and laughed for a second. How else could she possibly expect me to answer that? Of
course
I wanted her to fuck with them.
"You're laughing at me!"
"Only because you are so cool."
"So I'm going to kiss them? These old guys?"
"Don't worry," I said. "They'll love you."
"I know they will," she said. "They're big fuckin' horndogs."
"You can make them love you more, you know."
"What does that mean?" her voice was suspicious.
"You could put on some cute clothes. Like a nightie. Bare feet. Something that shows some leg. When they show up, give them the
whole
treatment -- kiss them, lead them into the kitchen or living room or something. Get them something to drink."
"Oh, sheesh," she said.
"Then say you have to go change. When you do, call me on the phone."
"Why?"
"Because I'm going to call you right back while you're changing. You're going to have to let them bring you the phone, while you're half-dressed."
"It's not a cordless. I'm going to have to come to the phone."
"All the better," I said. I was getting pretty excited. "You come out, all embarrassed, trying to cover yourself. And then you have to stand there talking to me."
"In a towel?" she supplied.
"No. We'll do a towel next time. This time, come out in a tank-top and undies."
"This is so fucked," she said. Her voice sounded harsh, but I could hear that she was smiling. "You know that, don't you?"
"But you'll do it," I pressed.
"Of course," she said. "But you dont' understand. These are all big, hairy, scary guys. I'd normally cross the street rather than walk past them. They're lewd and nasty. You don't know them. And here I am running around in panties?"
"If they're that scary, lock yourself in your room," I said. "But I
know
you're smiling. Think of it this way... you're not doing them any favors. You're teasing them mercilessly -- you're not doing them any favors. It's not like they can make a pass at you."
"That sounds pretty dumb," she said thoughtfully. "But it works for me. I guess it's all in how you look at it." Then, quickly: "A car just pulled up. I have to go change quickly."
She hung up the phone without saying goodbye.
I couldn't concentrate after that. I turned off the TV and paced around the apartment.
Ten minutes later, the phone rang again.
"Hello?"
"It's me!" came Carol's hushed whisper. I heard voices in the background, as well as television sounds.
"That sounds like a lot more than a few guys," I said.
"Hmmm, yeah. There are four of them. Two I haven't met before."
"Did you put on a nightie?"
"Yeah," she laughed nervously. "I didn't have time for anything fancy -- I just stripped and put on the first thing in my drawer. You'll like this: no panties, no bra. Just a frilly white thing that goes to my thighs, and splits up the hip."
I gulped. "Shit yeah, I like that."
"I'll show it to you someday," she giggled. "When I have the nerve to dress up in lingerie for you."
"How did it go at the door?" I asked.
Her voice still low, she answered, "About like you'd expect, for the first one.
Hi, kiss.
Then: 'What? Your dad's not here yet?' Then they kind of stared at me closely, and they weren't casual any more. For a few seconds it was pretty strange, with my nightie sliding off my shoulders, and me trying to crawl up their chests to kiss them. From then on, it was like,
kiss kiss kiss
. Nice to meet you,
kiss kiss kiss
."
I laughed. "You gave them seconds?"