The setting sun flooded the E.R. with a dull reddish glow. Dakota ran his hand through his freshly trimmed hair and scratched his stubbly chin. He was carrying a tray of coffees as he entered through the patient entrance to get a sense of how bad it was. He was shocked by how eerily empty it was.
He got to the triage desk and found it marked with a sign that due to staffing issues the ER was closed. He ripped the sign down and continued to walk through to the back.
"Blondie, get out front. There is no one out there." He said handing her a coffee. "There is cream and sugar in the bag."
"Didn't you get the email? The ER doctors are protesting some bullshit. They've called a sickout." Agnes said grabbing a coffee and a fistful of sugar packets. "Dayshift nurses are talking of joining them but we are too fungible. The hospital would just shift us around. That's why we don't have a triage nurse."
Cheyenne walked in and grabbed a coffee out of Dakota's hands. "Email? Who does that shit. If they want me I carry a pager."
Agnes cast a side eye at the pager and ran a hand over her grey hair. "That shit is older than I am."
"If it was good enough for grandpa..."
"What's a pager?" Blondie asked.
"Yeah old woman. What's a pager?" Dakota said turning to Cheyenne.
"That's it. No lube for you." Cheyenne said stroking an imaginary phallus.
Blondie blushed and rushed out front. Dakota got on the phone to alert 911 that they were taking ambulances. The night was fairly quiet as the news had reported that people in need of medical assistance should go to other hospitals.
Around 10pm Blondie came back. "I am sending foreign object in the rectum into exam 1. I didn't ask but $10 on 4" white. Cheyenne, I'll also take the side bet."
Everyone looked at the couple coming in. A brother and sister pair of "Frequent Fliers" were walking nervously back to the exam room.
Agnes chimed in "$5 12" black"
Dakota thought a bit and said "Purple in a funky shape, dragon dick. $20"
Cheyenne paused and rubbed her abdomen, "$5 on pink, 6". Side bet is on."
Cheyenne followed the couple back into the room and came out with a pinky sized vibrator. "You bitch, you knew it was in the girl."
Blondie laughed. "So did you." She slid a hand down her scrub pants and said "I am so going to enjoy this."
Cheyenne winked and responded, "twice"
Blondie led the couple out to perform some paperwork and told them how her mother the lawyer told her and her siblings, "Anal and pegging for that matter, don't count as incest in this state. Keep it to the butt stuff and it's legal."
The couple blushed and she handed them a pamphlet on safe anal sex.
Cheyenne pulled Blondie aside, "Your mother told you?"
"She and my brother were close."
"He was only close to her?"
"I don't yuck others yums, but it's just not for me."
"Incest?"
"Anal. I'd let him eat me out any day of the week and twice on Sundays" Blondie said with a wistful smile as she headed back to the front.
The night wore on and things started to pick up, There was a car accident with major traumas that tied up both Cheyenne and Dakota, followed by a severe case of alcohol poisoning that led to a college student being placed on a ventilator.
"I'm sending an email." Cheyenne said as she started to type. Her tongue was sticking out the side of her mouth and she had a frustrated look of concentration.
Dakota looked at her warily.
"What's it going to say?"
"Dunno, ER open until judgement day, yada yada, lives are more important, yada yada, 18 hour shifts, yada yada."
"I'm down for 18 hour shifts for the next thirty years or so then retire to a private island." Dakota said.
Cheyenne nodded, "You, me, and Blondie's kids."
"Don't I get a say in this?" Blondie interjected.
"Will you fuck him anytime he asks and occasionally ask yourself?"
"Um... Yes..."
"Will you occasionally do it when one or both of you are too drunk to think of condoms?"
"No!"
"Let me change the question. Are you going to get so drunk you fuck him without condoms, again?" Cheyenne asked staring pointedly.