Here's a very true and embarrassing story for you. I once rode a lawnmower home over 10 miles naked I did quite make it before running out of gas. I'm just glad small town cops have a sense of humor.
I was over at a friend's house hanging out. She had the place to herself and we took full advantage of it. It was Jenny, April and me. We were very close friends. We've fooled around sexually from time to time. Mostly, we played naughty little games and pranks on each other. That's how I ended up naked and trying to ride a lawnmower home. Apparently, the prank was to strip the first person to pass out drunk. And, lock them out of the house.
I woke up in a chair in the backyard naked and drenched in sweat. It was hot and extremely humid that night. I vaguely remember trying to get in the house. I beat in the doors and checked all the windows. I remember trying to balance myself while trying to pee behind a bush. I also remember sitting down in a chair finishing off a bottle of tequila that was laying in the ground and looking at this lawnmower. I don't know what I was thinking! I know I was drunk, sweaty and wanted to go home, shower and pass out in my own bed. Next thing you know, I'm on the thing trying to start it
I take it down the back roads thinking it would be safe in the middle of the night. I figured I would pull down in a ditch if a car came. I didn't plan on one little distraction. If it wasn't hard enough driving a straight line as drunk as I was. The vibrating between my legs didn't help it any. I started having orgasms. Some, strong enough to make me stop and ride it out. It slowed the whole trip down! Not that it mattered all that much. I wasn't even halfway home when the one car driving down that road in the middle of the night had to pass by me. I'm stopped in the middle of the road having a huge orgasm with my head back and eyes closed. I never saw them coming until it was too late. I'm guessing they reported me to the cops. Because, it wasn't long after that one pulled up behind me.
I was so scared! He crept up on me with his lights off. It was almost like an alien invasion. One minute I'm enjoying the vibration from the mower. Next thing I know, I'm lit up like Christmas. Spotlight! Headlights! Flashing red and blues! I didn't know what to do and just kept driving down the road. I didn't know what to say! I definitely didn't want to stop! Until he buzzed me with his siren and scared me so bad I peed myself a little. After that I just stopped and sat there.
He started talking to me over his loud speaker. He tells me to turn the lawnmower off. So, I did! Then he tells me to stand up, put my hands on my head and walk backwards until he says stop. I can hear him chuckling while doing it. I get the feeling he only put me through all of that because he found it funny and entertaining. He told me to spin around and face his vehicle. The he starts putting me through a sobriety test. All over the loud speaker while he sat in his car. He made me touch my nose! Made me try and walk a straight line. Had me turn around and touch my toes! Try to say the alphabet backwards! Had me jump up and down while trying to count backwards from 20. I had a small suspicion that he was toying with me. I could hear him laughing the whole time. I think the only time he was serious was when he was checking me for weapons. Which, I'm pretty sure he was just fucking with me then too. I've never had a cop have me spin around several times before having me lift my breasts. Then have me turn around, bend over and spread things for him to look to make sure I wasn't hiding anything up anything. But, what was I to do?! Last thing I wanted to do was argue and make things worse. I thought I was going to jail! I would have blew him and let him bend me over the back of the car to go free.
