Later on, long after the sun had gone down, Jason was lying awake in his bed. He was once again suffering from the plague of insomnia -- he tossed and turned in his sheets, he tried to sleep without the sheets, he tried laying on his stomach, and finally he tried sleeping in the fetal position (even though he hated it). But nothing was working. He was too aware of the obstinate thump of his own heartbeat. He started getting angry at various things that he selectively blamed for his inability to sleep. These dorm rooms were too cold...he had the jitters because it was still the first week of college...screw classes anyway...he would've been able to sleep a lot more soundly if only Eve was there, snuggling him. Eve...Eve...
Jason's thoughts started to spiral in on themselves as he fixated on his girlfriend. Deep down, he knew that this fixation on her was the true reason why he couldn't sleep. Try as he might, he couldn't stop thinking about the sex that they had had earlier that day. However, unlike the lightness and warmth of his previous private musings about their past sexual experiences, this time Jason's thoughts were anxious and troubled.
Eve had seemed different. One of the best parts of being in a relationship with her for so long was seeing how much she came to embrace her own sensuality. When Eve and Jason had started dating around two years before, Eve was quite shy about sex, having had no previous experience. Gradually, though, she became more and more comfortable with her own body, and senior year she truly blossomed, at least as far as Jason was concerned. She had developed a penchant for blowjobs, and she clearly enjoyed giving Jason pleasure, and delighted in her ability to do so. She would look at him with those big brown eyes, with his cock in her mouth, blinking slowly each time she went down on his thick shaft. And gradually, the more sex they had, Eve started to make more and more sounds. Whereas before she had been quiet and timid, now she had no qualms letting out loud pleasured moans, and even occasionally screams when Jason went at it hard. By the start of senior year she had started swallowing his semen, and by the end of it Jason was fully convinced that she sometimes actually craved to eat it. Her sexual appetite metamorphosized until Jason realized that she was actually instigating sex more than he was. The shy and awkward high school sophomore had truly burgeoned into a dynamic and sensuous woman.
But now things were different -- they were in uncharted territory. In the dark, Jason reached up and felt his earlobe and the side of his neck. Both had been bruised from Eve's biting...she had never done that before. In and of themselves, Jason didn't mind the bruises so much. But it was what they signified that bothered him: Eve's sexual aggression, her...dominance over him. It had been so acute, so out in the open, during their sex that afternoon, and it left him feeling empty, scared, and...small.
Over and over, in his head, he played her words: "I'm not done," she had growled down at him as he shot his load deep inside her within 2 minutes of starting. "I'm not stopping...I want more." Jason had never heard Eve talk like that...never seen her face so wild and savage, so transported by lust. And as he lay there in his bed, jostling anxiously around his mattress, he was sure that there had been something else in her face...something that worried him deeply. When he had succumbed in record time to the roll of her hips and cried out that he was going to cum, she had snarled two words: "Do it!" On the surface, these words were sexy, and even just remembering how she had said them was enough to make Jason hard all over again.
However, there was something else behind those words -- Jason was sure of it. She had spoken them in...irritation. In disappointment. Perhaps even in anger. She was upset with him for being weak and not being able to last long inside her. She was mad that he couldn't match the strength of her vigor, of her lust. Yes, there was no getting around it; he flipped again on his bed and pulled the sheets tighter over his body. Eve thought that he couldn't hang with her. She thought that she was too much for him...too virile...too advanced. Clearly, she had desires that he couldn't satisfy. As the waves of anxiety crashed over his insides in the dark, he remembered how she had continued to ride him even after he had cum. She had been gyrating her hips like crazy, going around and around on his dick as she pushed down forcefully on his bare chest with both hands. It had felt like she was trying to push him through her mattress. Jason had kept trying to thrust up into her after his orgasm, but after only about half a minute he had stopped and simply lay there exhausted, breathing heavily as Eve continued to slam herself down on his cock.
The minutes were ticking off Jason's clock as the night deepened, but his mind kept racing. This was another moment that was giving him anxiety as he pored over the encounter. After he had slowed his thrusts to a halt, Eve had kept bashing her big hips down on him for a few more moments, but then she suddenly uttered what sounded to Jason like a loud scoff. Right then, she had looked straight into his eyes and shook her head. It all happened so fast that Jason wasn't even sure it was real, that he was just imagining things in his late-night anxiety stupor. But he remembered it; he had seen it. And right after, Eve had suddenly pivoted herself around, still impaled on his dick, and proceeded to buck ride him reverse-cowgirl for the next several minutes. Jason had been treated to a delicious view of her bulbous ass bouncing and rolling and twirling around on his cock, but this view had been tempered by the awful realization that she had turned around because she was trying to make herself cum...and because looking at Jason wasn't going to help her reach her climax. In fact, it might even prevent her orgasm altogether. By turning around, she was excluding him, and worse, she was saying that he wasn't good enough, that he was inadequate to her needs.
After a few minutes of this reverse-cowgirl riding, and moaning out away from Jason into her bedroom, Eve had slid off his cock and onto the bed next to him. She was breathing heavily, and her body was dripping with sweat. Jason was breathing pretty hard too, but there was nothing close to as much sweat on his body -- he had not been working nearly as hard or as vigorously. It was obvious to both of them that Eve had climbed off his cock because it had gotten too soft to ride. They lay there next to each other, panting for a few moments.
"Did you cum?" ventured Jason hesitantly after a few moments. He felt like he had to ask, just to get it out in the open. He knew that she hadn't, and the pain of his own inadequacy was already starting to smart. By asking the question, it could seem like he at least was thinking about her, and cared whether or not she came.
"I don't...I don't know," panted Eve up at the ceiling. Jason knew that she was being nice -- this is what she said when she hadn't cum but didn't want him to feel insecure. But Jason wasn't just going to accept that this time. Her sexual ferocity and domination -- and the fact that she had just truly "topped" him for the first time -- had startled him and made him feel deficient in a new way. He wanted to stop his self-esteem from hemorrhaging, and the only way to do that now was to bring his girlfriend to orgasm.
"Well...uh...if you don't know, then that means you probably didn't," said Jason. He hated how petty his words sounded in the air, especially in the air which had so recently been suffused and pierced by Eve's primal moans and cries. "Here, let me eat you out," he had said quickly, and then made a move down toward her hips. But Eve, without looking at him (as her eyes remained fixed on the ceiling) had reached over and grabbed his upper arm, in a motion of hinderance.
"No," she said, still panting. "No, that's...that's ok, babe. I'm good."
"Whaaaat?" asked Jason in a mock high-pitched voice. "Haha, come on Eve, let me make you cum. I know you want it."
"I don't, actually," she said flatly, with her eyes still on the ceiling. Jason felt those words go through him like daggers, and he drew back a little. Eve seemed to immediately recognize how her tone sounded, or how it made Jason react, and she turned over to face him in her bed. Her face was red, and her chestnut-brown hair was wild and unkempt, and matted to her cheeks. Her eyes were still burning with something of that lustful fire, but it was fast going out. She blinked slowly at him and smiled. She looked tired.
"It's all right Jason, really...I'm fine. That was...whooo! Wow, that was some intense sex there, huh?"
