Note: Pure fiction, again--so any resemblances you may see are coincidental.
Warning! Explicit lesbian and bisexual (FFM) sex as well as mildly offensive language.
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Emma was a thoughtful and affectionate girlfriend. We'd been together for more than two years. She and I had had so much fun together. But how much longer would we last? The three girlfriends I'd had before her had all broken up with me once I'd had this talk with them.
Perhaps some fantasies would always remain fantasies. I didn't want Emma to leave me. As I looked into her fascinating green eyes, I hesitated.
She put her elbow on the mattress. "What is it, Hawk?" she asked me. "I know there's something on your mind."
"I love you," I said. I leaned forward and she kissed me playfully.
"I know that's not all," she said. She put her dainty hand on my shoulder and rubbed me comfortingly. "Really, is something bothering you?"
"Would you like a bath?" I asked her.
Her pink lips pursed cutely. "Oh, so you have a favor to ask. And if you don't think a dozen roses when you got home are enough, it must be a big favor! Go on, ask; you know you can ask me anything."
"...No, never mind; it's nothing."
"Hawk, please tell me. Please. You've seemed down this whole week. I want to help you be happy again."
"Emma..." My voice cracked. "...I don't want to lose you."
She put her long, thin arms around my back. "Trust me, my sweetest love. What is on your mind?"
"Do you believe I love you?" I asked.
"Of course I do!" she said. She brushed my black bangs away from my eyes.
"I do. I do love you. Please, Emma, remember that I love you with all my heart when I tell you this."
"I will, I promise."
Here it came: the fourth time I would tell a girlfriend my fantasy. Acceptance or rejection would follow immediately. I took a deep breath, trying to slow my pounding heart. I took Emma's hand. "I have this...desire, this dream. I want you to make love to me...in a new way. I want you to wear Lisa-Vanessa and give me anal satisfaction. And at the same time, I want you to allow Erik to give me vaginal satisfaction."
Her eyelids opened farther, showing more of her arresting green eyes. "...What?" she said at last. She gently pulled her hand from my grasp.
"I want both of you to penetrate me. I love you, Emma, and I--"
"--You want to fuck Erik, but you love me?" she said evenly.
"Please, Emma, please listen to me. I love you; I adore you. I don't want Erik by himself and I certainly don't love him as a lover. I love you erotically. I want you. I want you to make love to me and I want him to penetrate me while we're making love."
Emma's eyes looked teary; her lower lip drooped. I surged forward and kissed her. "Oh, Emma, I'm sorry! Forget it; all I need is you. You are all I love! I never said any of that stupid shit just now, okay?"
My girlfriend gave me a feeble smile. "Do you really love only me?"
"Yes, baby. With all that I am. I love only you. Now how about we get that bath?" I said, forcing myself to sound cheerful. In fact, I was struggling not to panic, hoping now only to keep her from thoughts of leaving me.
Emma squeezed me a little, pressing her perky, warm breasts against my chest. "Hawk, can you help me understand?" she said quietly.
I rested my forehead against hers for a long moment. Then I kissed her sweet lips again, then once more. "I don't know where I got this strange desire," I told my lover. "I've been gay since puberty, so I can't explain wanting a woman's strap-on dildo and a man's penis inside me. The thought is just so hot to me. The idea: you and me expressing our love for each other, a man we trust witnessing our intimacy and contributing what he can to our pleasure. I don't know; maybe it's the fact that a man's orgasm is so obvious and such a spectacle? Maybe it's that I'd be asserting my identity beyond a shadow of a doubt--I mean, having sex with a woman and a man at the same time and preferring the love of the woman while the man's right there..."
"When I met you, you were single and I wondered why," said Emma. "You told your ex about this idea of yours and she freaked out."
"Slapped me and dumped me on the spot," I said. "What makes it worse is that I can't blame anyone but myself."
At that, Emma played her fingers along my back and up and down my ribs. I squirmed, unable to keep from feeling ticklish. "You shouldn't blame yourself. You can't blame your ex--well, yeah for the slap, which she shouldn't have done ever--but you honestly can't blame yourself; you can't help what you want. It's not what I expected from you, though; you're a complete and total lesbian!" I nodded. "...I think that might be why your ex freaked out so bad," my lover said after a moment. (Emma loves women, but she has had three boyfriends. I haven't had any. We've often joked about her "experimental" relationships.)
"Listen, my love, I meant what I said. All I need is you. Let's not discuss this any further; we will drop it now and never mention it again," I told my brown-haired bed-mate.
"You aren't the only one who loves someone in this room," she said. She smiled. I saw compassion in her jade green eyes. She and I closed the distance between us and shared a tender, lingering kiss. "What you said makes me think. I'm not saying I get it, because I don't. But now, I see that you don't either!
"So...I don't think we should 'drop it.' I think we should talk more about your little fetish-y fantasy.
"For instance...have you ever been penetrated in your pussy and ass before?"