"Miss that's not fair!"
"Be quiet, both of you. I don't want to hear another murmur out of you. Understand? Right, now I promised everyone yesterday that today would be a different sort of day and so it will.
We'll continue our meeting have our morning refreshments at 10.45 as usual. However at 11.00 sharp we're all leaving for a bit of a mystery tour. You never knew we had a minibus did you? Well we have. To save any arguments I'll be driving but Matron will be keeping an eye on everyone in the back and if there's any trouble it will dealt with firmly. There will be a stop somewhere on the coast for a fish and chip lunch at one o'clock and I will expect all students to drink either a small pot of tea with their meal of a 500ml bottle of some soft drink or other. Please note that there will be no toilet visits before we set off and I do not anticipate us taking any whilst we're out."
Omar's hand shot up.
"What if we can't hold it all day? I'm not usually too bad about holding but this sounds like a tall order to me."
"Omar, you'll be fine. Trust me. The seats will have waterproof covers and if someone does wet themselves - so long as it's a genuine accident and not a wind up - they won't be any trouble.
It will simply mean I have to do more work with them. Besides, it's not as though I'm planning on us being late back anyway. With any luck we should be back here for half past four and we will then be going straight on to kegels. The object of today's exercise is to retrain the connection between people's brains and their bladders. None of you will be allowed to go to the toilet whilst we're out but you will be doing some 'mind over matter' work. You'll all need to pee at some point - I'm sure of it - but you'll try and get your brains to send a signal to your bladders that it's not a big deal. When your bladders get the message that it's not a big deal - and I'm confident they will - you'll be able to exercise control and hold so much more easily. Wet seats and wet pants won't be a problem - they're bound to happen to some people. Worrying needlessly about needing to pee will be. If you can't control yourselves because you're worrying about having an accident, the exercise will not have fulfilled its purpose."
"Right. If there are no more questions I think it's about time for coffee. I hope everyone's got some warm clothing. It's a chilly day and the last time we had that minibus out the heating wasn't working."