At the age of ten, I left my home and friends to live in an Ashram. From child hood, I loved God. My parents were also religious. They accepted my decision with delight. They felt good because their child was going to sacrifice her life's pleasure for self realization. I never had thought about marriage at that young age. After reaching eighteen it was difficult for me to live without a sex partner. I often took help from my spiritual Guru to conquer my lust. I tried my best to follow it but one day I couldn't control it. Yes, I was defeated.
Once, our ashram organized a spiritual retreat in the nearby town of Rushikesh. I was given charge to take care of my Guru. He was the main speaker of the retreat. I was serving him as if it were a chance to serve God. On the second day of it, my Guru called me.
"Mataji, I need your help."
"Just tell me. I am your obedient servant."
"Go to our Ashram and bring me some important books which I will need in this function", he calmly told me.
"Okay, I depart from here at evening time, Guru!"
"Very good, Mataji"
I left the room. The Ashram was nearly three kilometers from there. I left at 9 p.m. at night. I knew that India was not safe for women in night time, but the Ashram was not too far. I walked to the bus station and asked, "Sir, can you tell me the time of next bus to Haridwar."
"At ten thirty", came a voice after a pause.
I had to pass an hour at the bus stand. I chose a safe place to sit. Suddenly rain started falling severely. Half an hour passed and the rand did not stop. In a short time, the road flooded with water as usual. There was not proper drainage system. The water level increased speedily. Later the announcement was heard from a half functioning speaker,
"All the buses departed form this station is cancelled, so we request travelers to..."
I was shocked. What I shall I do without a bus? I could return but no, my mind decided something different. I came out from the bus stop and started searching for a private vehicle. After the hard downpour, the light was gone. I couldn't see anything except some head lights of vehicles. I was completely soaked and my white clothes became some what transparent. Murmuring God's name, I watched for a vehicle. I could see a rickshaw and I walked toward it. A man, who I thought was the driver, was repairing it.
"O Mr! I want to go Haridwar, can you take me there?"