The early rays of morning sunlight were peeking through the entrance to the den when the girl opened her eyes. Most of the pack was still sleeping around her. She remained still for a moment, luxuriating in the warm, furry cushion of her pack brother's body that her head rested against, but gradually she began to move. And as she stirred, so did Tailchaser, who had been her pillow for the night. His dark eyes looked up at her lovingly, and she smiled and tenderly scratched his head.
Nightsong, who was the closest thing the girl had ever had to a mother, came trotting into the den with a pair of fresh killed rabbits in her mouth. She dropped them in front of the girl, and took a small step back. It had never been uncommon for Nightsong to do this; to go hunt some small game early in the morning to bring back to her. As usual, Blackmane, the alpha male, stepped up to sniff at the kill, and at Nightsong. Blackmane didn't much like members of the pack running off hunting on their own, but Nightsong had been doing this for her every few days for as long as the girl could remember. She remembered seeing Blackmane growling at Nightsong for it a few times when she was little, but in the end it was decided that Nightsong was simply looking out for her cub.
Of course, Blackmane still didn't approve, especially now that the girl was old enough to hunt for herself. And it certainly didn't help matters that Blackmane wasn't particularly fond of the girl in the first place. He was one of the ones in the pack who took a while to warm up to her, as they recognized the inescapable truth that the girl understood very well herself: she wasn't one of them. Not really. She wasn't a wolf. She honestly didn't know what she was, but it didn't really matter; the pack was the only family she had ever known. They had cared for and protected her when she was little, and she had learned to hunt and howl with them.
Blackmane turned his nose away and walked on. He was the leader of the pack, but Nightsong was indomitable in her love for the girl. The girl picked up the rabbits, and offered one to Tailchaser. His tail wagged happily, and he snatched up the animal in his hungry jaws. The girl smiled, and brought the other rabbit to her mouth and bit into the fresh meat.
When she'd had enough, she offered what was left to whoever was interested; Frostback came and took it. She stretched, and pulled the pelt that had once belonged to Greedygut off of her naked body. She still missed Greedygut; he was one of the first friends she remembered having. Sleeping under the warmth of his furs helped keep his memory fresh. Although she did sometimes find it awkward that she was forced to rely on someone else's pelt to stay warm at night since she didn't have one of her own. It only served as a reminder that she was different from the rest of the pack.
The girl crawled out of the den and greeted the warmth of the morning sun that filtered down through the trees. Her posture was low to the ground, bent at the knees, supporting her weight on her fingers most of the time. She looked to where Moonbeam's litter of pups were playing with each other; it was beautiful sight. One of the pups came up to her and whined. She smiled, and lifted the pup in her arms. He began planting friendly licks on her face. It was always wonderful to bond with wolves when they were this young; Tailchaser had only been a pup when she bonded with him.
Still, as much as she loved the warmth of the family that had raised her, in recent turns of the seasons she had begun to feel a certain longing for... something. Something the pack couldn't provide. She didn't know what it was. Maybe it had something to do with the nagging feeling she'd always had at the back of her mind that she didn't really belong with them. Perhaps if there were other creatures out there like her, maybe she longed for their company. She'd often wondered where she'd come from; she knew she couldn't have been born of the pack. She did all she could to fit in, and they accepted her, but it could only do so much.
As she set the pup back down and let him rejoin his brothers and sisters, she felt the longing she'd come to know well rising up inside her. She needed a little time alone, and she knew where to go for that. She began moving off in the direction of the stream; she might feel better after she bathed a little.
She put a foot in first when she got there, letting it adjust to the chill of the water as she slowly stepped into the shallow flowing stream. When she knelt down the water came up to her midsection, and she began splashing it over her body, washing off the grime of nature. It was relaxing; physically, anyway. She simply didn't know how to fill the hole in her heart she'd come to live with.
As often happened when these thoughts came to her, she found her hand moving down her body to the special place below. It had been a few turns of the seasons ago when she discovered the strange and pleasant sensations that came from touching the opening between her legs, and she found herself often compelled to luxuriate in them when she felt the way she did now. Her fingers slid over her cleft, and her body shivered.
She let her eyes close as she slowly rubbed the small nub that protruded down there. Her breath quavered with the tingle that ran through her body. She allowed her thoughts to drift into oblivion, knowing only the bliss of what she was doing now. Her fingers steadily began moving faster, and her hips began to move, churning up ripples in the water. A low moan escaped from her lips. She felt heat rushing into her face as her pace increased. Ultimately she knelt forward in the water on her knees and one hand, gasping out her excitement as she did so, her fingers now moving at a frenetic pace. Her face hovered just above the surface of the water as her mouth hung open and she steadily drove herself into a frenzy... and at last her head snapped up and she screamed out her release.
She finally relaxed, taking a moment to catch her breath. And now that the moment was over, her thoughts returned to her. It didn't matter how many times she did what she had just done; she still didn't understand it. The wolves certainly didn't do anything like that. Why was she so different?
Suddenly her head turned in the direction of Nightsong's howl. Nightsong was alerting the pack that she smelled something coming, and something that could prove to be a potential threat. The girl hurried out of the stream, running on two feet for more speed in the direction that Nightsong's call was coming from.