Christmas Bride

December 1954, Near New Haven Connecticut

Christmas Moonlight by the Glenn Miller Band played on the RCA Victor radio as Lillian O'Brady looked at herself in the full-length mirror. She was happy with the way she looked in her wedding dress. The sleeveless, tea-length gown gave her a flirtatious and fun look but not so much that she gave away traditional modesty. The slender bodice and fuller skirt emphasized the curves of her chest and hips.

She had made the dress herself from a McCall's pattern and was very proud of how it came out. Not only did it compliment her body but also her frugal lifestyle. As she pivoted around to check all the angles there was a knock at the door.

"It's time for your hair. Can we come in?" a familiar voice asked.

"Sure," Lillian responded.

Moments later her older sister Susie and her mother Faye walked into the room.

"Oh you look simply beautiful," Faye said as Susie picked up a brush and got to work on Lillian's hair.

Faye took both of Lillian's hands and held them out. "To be honest, I wasn't sure about you making your own wedding dress, but it came out superb. I guess my idea of a wedding gown is all frills and bows, but you look divine in a simple dress."

Lillian smiled, "Thank you. Do you think Bill will like it?"

"Oh of course he will," Faye responded.

"Yeah, every guy in the church is going to be jealous that he bagged such a doll," her sister added as she worked out some small imperfections in her hair.

"Thanks," Lillian said again this time with a bit of a nervous smile.

"Oh honey, are you worried?" her mother asked.

Lillian gave a little nod.

"Don't be. Bill's a wonderful guy. He's handsome, responsible, has a good job and loves you very much."

"I know, I know, it's not that? "

"Well is it the reception? Don't worry about that, you've planned it perfectly. And a Christmas wedding is always special. Not only does it add to this holiday but you will remember it fondly for every Christmas to come."

"No, it's not that."

"It's the sex isn't it?" Her sister blurted out smirking.

Lillian bit her lower lip and looked down in silent acknowledgment of Susie's guess.

"Oh dear, Lilian, why are you worrying about that on this wonderful day?" asked her mother.

"I don't know, I've nothing to relate it to and don't know what to expect."

"Well, it's the most natural thing a man and a woman can do so you shouldn't worry about it."

"Unless it hurts," her sister jumped in.

Lillian's look turned concerned, "What do you mean?"

"Well, when me and Bob first did it it felt like I was getting stabbed with a piece of wood down there. We spent the whole night trying to get it in. It took weeks before I could get comfortable with it."

"Stop it Susie. Don't scare your little sister on her wedding day," Faye interjected. "Lillian, not every woman is like that. That wasn't my experience or your aunt's. To be honest, when your father gets me going I get so wet down there a Studebaker could slide through."

"Who's doing the scaring now Mom?" said Susie. "We don't need to hear about you and dad."

That comment broke the tension and made Lillian giggle. She then asked, "But what if he doesn't like my body? Or if I'm bad at it? Or something embarrassing happens?"

"Darling, never fear your own body. And you're the woman, when it comes to sex there's not much you can do that's bad or embarrassing."

"Um again not true," her sister commented as she put the finishing touches on Lillian's hair. "One time I went to straddle Bob and I accidentally kneed him right in the testicles. He was in pain for days."

"Susie please stop it. You're not helping."

"Okay Mom, you're right," Susie said. "Lillian, the only thing you should worry about is if he finishes before you even get going."

"That's it," her mother said loudly. "I'm ending this conversation."

In a calming voice, Faye looked Lillian in the eyes and said, "Honey losing your virginity is a big deal. Having sex is a big deal. It's normal to be nervous, but that's part of the experience. When you have sex you're naked and exposed and feel vulnerable but at the same time you know you're safe and comfortable with the one you love. All those feelings blend inside of you to create a sense of anticipation like nothing else you've ever felt. And when done right nothing else makes you feel so complete, so loved, and so happy."

Lillian smiled at her mother, "Thanks Mom."

"You're welcome,'' her mother assured before looking at her watch. "Oh my, we've got to be going. You look perfect. Get your shoes on while I have Aunt Margaret bring the car around."

As Lillian slipped her feet into her white shoes Susie said, "Don't worry about it little sister. You two are going to be alone in that Vermont cabin for a week. I'm sure you'll figure it out."

"You think?"

"Of course. A week of skiing and sex, what better way to learn the 'ins and outs' of intercourse?"

Both women giggled before their mother yelled, "Hurry up, we don't want to be late."

The car ride to the church was quick and quiet. This left Lillian to mull over the earlier conversation. It seemed odd that it was her square mother that had talked about the positives of sex and her hipster older sister who talked about the negatives. Who was she to believe?

Her preoccupation continued in the backroom of the church as her mother helped her put on her veil and white satin gloves. After the reception, she and Bill would spend their first night together. Their first sex would surely happen there. He must be expecting it. What if everything on this day is perfect until that point and then something bad happens with the sex? It would ruin everything. Her troublesome thoughts were interrupted when she heard the organ begin to play.

Her father appeared in the room to walk her down the aisle. "Go!" her mother whispered. "And don't slouch!"

The advice reminded Lillian of the many times her mother had corrected her posture. She was right to do so here, if she slouched in this dress it would have ruined the look she had planned for. And if her mother was right about her posture she was probably right about the sex too.

The church was decorated for the season, with tent-draped garland accented with berries and classic red ribbon. Elegant glass ornaments were added to the chandeliers and the altar was framed with evergreens adorned with white lights. At the center of the altar was Bill.

He looked great in his black three-piece suit and grinned as she approached. 'So manly' she thought. Not just in his good looks but in who he was. He always treated others fairly, honored his commitments, and made sound decisions. He was a man she could be comfortable with and knew she would be safe with.

When she arrived next to him, in a carefully choreographed motion, he lifted her veil. Gazing into her eyes he smiled a nervous but excited smile. She held his gaze as the minister started speaking.

The service seemed to go very quickly. She heard the minister's voice but didn't hear what he was saying. Before she knew it Bill was saying his vows. Then it was her turn to say hers. A moment later they were pronounced man and wife. The minister held up some mistletoe and told Bill that he could kiss his bride. And after a wonderful kiss to the sound of applause, they were married.

As Lillian walked down the aisle with her now husband Bill, all the attendees rang Christmas bells that they had been given when they arrived. It was an exciting sound, one which matched the festive season but also marked change. It was the beginning of their life together.

The receiving line was traditional but arduous. At the end was her Aunt Margaret, her mother's older sister. Lillian expected the same, 'you are a beautiful bride' compliment. She was surprised, however, when her aunt said, "Your mother told me about your concern."

Lillian hoped she was not talking about her sex concerns, but knew it would be just like her mother to kibitz with her aunt. Before Lillian could say anything Margaret started,

"Yeah and I want to tell you a little story. A few years ago I had no idea what your Uncle Carl was getting me for Christmas. I kept finding brochures about vacuum cleaners, Hoovers, Kirby's, and Electrolux. So I started thinking he is going to get me a vacuum cleaner. I was getting all worked up, 'like he probably thinks he's doing me a favor and that I will like it.' But I'm not going to like a vacuum cleaner as a Christmas gift. I'll end up getting mad at him on Christmas Day right in front of the kids. Anyway, Christmas came and I was all tense and ready for something unpleasant. Then he handed me this small box and in it was a silver bracelet. It was the nicest self-inflicted surprise of my life. So what I'm saying is when it comes to sex sometimes you think you're getting a vacuum cleaner but you end up with a silver bracelet."

Lillian was taken aback. She was not surprised that her aunt had no compunction about saying something embarrassing, yet that didn't prevent her from being caught not knowing how to respond. She looked at her aunt's face, patted one of her hands, and smiled. "Thank you Auntie. I can always count on you to say something profound."

Before Margret could respond, Bill saved his bride. "Come along dear, we need to get to the reception," he said, hooking his arm under hers and hurrying her out the door.

The cold winter's air nipped at her exposed skin. "Brrr, it's cold," she gasped as they jogged down the snow-covered sidewalk. "Careful I can't run in this dress!"

Bill's Chevrolet Bel Air 4-door sedan was parked at the curb just ahead, decorated with a 'just married' sign, holiday-colored crepe paper, and a dozen Campbell's soup cans tied to the rear bumper. Lillian's brother-in-law, Bob, had the engine running and held the rear door open allowing them a quick escape from the cold.

They settled into the backseat and as soon as the door closed Lilian slid close to her new husband, her voice was sweet, "We're married now."

"Best Christmas present I could ever want," he replied before kissing her passionately.

They had kissed plenty of times before but this felt different. Maybe it was the excitement of the day, maybe it was knowing that they were now committed to each other. Or maybe it was knowing that much more physical activity was on the way. Lilian felt her heart race and butterflies in her stomach. The passion was cut short when Bob got into the driver's seat and slammed the door shut.

"Here we go kids," he said.

Lillian laughed as he jerked the car into traffic. She knew that Bob was the type who would organize a horn-honking chase through town as they made their way to the reception. She and Bill had talked about it, and neither wanted such a parade but agreed to it because it gave them a few minutes of alone time in the middle of the festivities.

The Allen was a small hotel but it was perfectly equipped for the reception. Its snow-covered 1920s architecture gave the perfect Christmas aesthetic and the medium-sized dining and dancing room matched the couple's guest list and modest budget.

The room was an elegant blend of romance and holiday festive. Greenery was hung near the tables adding a subtle scent of winter. In one corner was the band wearing matching red and green vests. In the other corner was a well-stocked bar and a Santa-looking bartender. An overabundance of twinkle lights strung along the ceiling basked the room with a cozy white glow.

The reception kicked off with the bride and groom dancing to a rendition of

Baby, It's Cold Outside

. They danced beautifully together. Bill held her close to him, his hand rested lightly in the middle of her naked back, and her arm slipped around his neck.

"You have a lovely figure," he said.

Lilian gazed up at him and smiled. The twinkling light glistened in her gray eyes. "I'm glad you like it."

When the dance ended they were once again serenaded by the sound of the Christmas bells that they had given to the guests.

The next hour was a flurry of activity. Between dinner, conversation and photos everyone was active. The booze flowed easily and the room echoed with laughter. By the time it came to cut the cake it was obvious to Lillian that everyone was having a good time.

After the cake, the band got everybody out on the dance floor. They played the perfect balance of fun and fast with slow and romantic. They even mixed in Christmas songs such as

Winter Wonderland

,

Merry Christmas Baby

, and

Let it Snow

. It was the perfect way to blend the happiness of the event with the joy of the season.

Before Lillian knew it, it was late and the crowd began to thin. She was busy saying goodbyes when she heard the band play their last song and wish everyone a Merry Christmas. She looked up and saw Bill talking to his cousins. She noticed how splendid he looked even at the end of the night. All the other men had taken off their coats and loosened their ties, but not Bill. He looked just as good as he had at the ceremony. At that moment she knew she was ready, ready to be with him, ready to share her body with him, and momentarily they would be doing just that.

That's when she heard her mother hollering. She looked over to see her sister happily slouched in a seat on the corner of the dance floor. Her husband Bob was trying unsuccessfully to get her to her feet. Lillian walked over and asked, "What's wrong?"

"What's wrong, I'll tell you what's wrong," her mother Faye cackled. "Your sister has had too much champagne and your poor brother-in-law can't get her back to their room."

Lillian was about to offer assistance when Bill appeared at her side and said, "Can I help?"

"Oh Bill, thank you so much," Lillian's mother exclaimed. "Both you girls are lucky to have such good men as husbands."

Lillian gave Bill a little kiss and then whispered, "Thank you. I'll be in the room waiting for you."

"Okay," he replied with an odd look.

As Bill and Bob got her sister on her feet she seemed to regain some of her senses. She looked at Bill then looked at Lillian and drunkenly giggled, "You two have fun tonight."

Suzie leaned into Lillian and whispered, "One piece of advice, be on top."

"Okay, Okay that's enough," Her mother crowed. "Boys let's get her to her room before she does something really embarrassing."

Lillian made her way to their room and back-flopped onto the bed as soon as the door was shut. She giggled to herself, she hadn't had that much fun in a long time. The ceremony, the reception, the dancing, and the champagne made it a perfect day. This was the perfect time to finally have sex. She felt ready, maybe even excited about it. She thought, 'I'll get naked and be waiting for Bill. He'll love that. Opening the door to find me ready for sex. Yes, that is what I'll do. I'll just close my eyes and rest for a few minutes first.'

❆❆❆

Lillian woke with a startle. She didn't know where she was. She sat up and found Bill sleeping next to her. She then realized she was still in her wedding dress. That's when it hit her, she'd fallen asleep waiting for Bill. When he got to the room he must've crawled up next to her rather than waking her up.

A feeling of dread overcame her. She had ruined the night by falling asleep. They were supposed to have their first sex on their wedding night but they didn't. They didn't because she'd fallen asleep. She felt horrible.

She began shaking him, "Bill wake up. Wake up Bill. Wake up."

Groggily he rose to consciousness, "Wha. What is it?"

"I fell asleep. I fell asleep and now it's morning."

"Ummm Okay?"

"No, not okay. We were supposed to have sex. We were supposed to consummate our marriage. Why didn't you wake me up when you got back to the room?"

Now fully awake he could see Lillian's distress, "You were sound asleep. It was a big day, a busy day. It's understandable that you were tired. I was tired too."

"But we're supposed to have our first sex on our wedding night!"

"Says who?"

That question made her stumble, "I don't know who but I know that's what they say."

With a calming tone, he said, "Honey, it's okay. There's no rule or tradition that says you have to do it on your wedding night. We can do it tonight, or tomorrow night. We're married now so we have every night for the rest of our lives to do it."

His sincere tone and soothing words settled her emotions. "So you're not mad?"

"Of course not."

"What about disappointed?"

"No," he replied as he pulled her into a hug. "Now stop fretting. Let's get cleaned up and on the road. The mountains of Vermont await."

Lillian felt better knowing her husband seemed okay with missing wedding night sex but she couldn't help but be disappointed in herself. She felt as if she had ruined the perfect opportunity for their first sex.

The remainder of the morning was busy. Lillian and Bill cleaned up, had breakfast, and checked out of the hotel. After that, they packed the car for their ski retreat honeymoon and headed out.

Lillian watched the Vermont countryside roll by. The blend of snow and ice added a beautiful and magical glow to the outside. She saw men shoveling their driveways and children sledding. She acknowledged that this was her future now. She had a husband and that made her a wife. Soon there would be a home and kids and with any luck domestic bliss.

It was something she looked forward to, but there was still the sex part. She couldn't have kids without sex. She knew she shouldn't worry but she couldn't help but have doubts. Their first night was a bust. What if the next time was a bust as well? What if she didn't like it? What if she disappoints him? What if she couldn't get past her nervousness? She sat quietly with her worries.

The final thirty miles was treacherous mountain driving with narrow roads and sharp turns. The last mile was not so much a plowed road as it was packed snow with tire ruts.

"We're here," Bill said as he pulled up to a snow-capped cabin.

It was a modest single-level log cabin with a wraparound porch and a large chimney. It was surrounded by towering pine trees whose branches sagged under the weight of fresh snow. Trails for both cross-country skiing and snowshoeing started right off the yard. Beyond the property was an amazing view of the Green Mountains.

"It's breathtaking," Lillian exclaimed as she stood by the car and took in the landscape.

"It's just as nice on the inside," Bill said, taking her by the hand and leading her to the front door.

Lillian was noticing the pine wreath with a silver bell on the front door when Bill swept her off her feet. The feel of a strong arm under her knees and another across her back made her giggle with excitement. She wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed her head against his as he carried her across the threshold, then gave him a little kiss before he set her down.

The cabin was as elegant as it was cozy. The kitchen, dining, and living space were all in one big room, with the grand fireplace as the centerpiece. There was a tree with white lights set up in the corner, the windows were accented with garland and the tables were adorned with pinecones and candles. Over the fireplace was another pine wreath, this one adorned with red ribbon and there were stockings hung from the mantle.

"Oh, Bill, I love it. I couldn't have picked a better place for a honeymoon."

He took her in his arms and hugged her, "I was hoping you would like it."

"I can unpack the car if you want to get the fireplace going," she suggested.

"Sounds good."

They went straight to work and before long the car was unloaded and Bill had a roaring fire going.

"Oh perfect, so comfy," Lillian said. "The only thing left are the skis tied to the roof. Could you get those?"