When I heard the college I got accepted to still had coed dorms, I was pumped. Not only because that meant I'd live close to some potentially hot girls, but also because hopefully I'd get to see them naked in the coed showers. I realize that the whole point of coed showers was to de-sexualize the human body, but to a guy fresh out of High School and with very little female experience under his belt (no pun intended) this was a dream come true. I did all my paperwork, got assigned my dorm and moved in. I was ready to meet new people and get naked with them for what would become my most memorable, adventurous years of my life. Wild and scandalous fantasies raced through my mind faster than cars at the Indy 500. My freshman year was the opposite of that.
While the dorms were coed, and I happened to live across the hall from a pair of cute girls, they kept to themselves, as did everyone on our floor. My roommate was a sports guy and never wanted to hang out. The showers were coed but there was an official schedule that most people adhered to. From 6am to 10am the women were scheduled for the top of the hour and men were scheduled at the thirty-minute mark. Any time after 10am was open to whoever. This meant that unless you went during one of the transitional periods your only shot at seeing someone of the opposite sex was during open shower time and most people were at class so that was a bust. Even if you were lucky enough to bump into someone worth looking at, they had almost always donned a towel by then. That's not to say I didn't catch a nipple here or there, but it was not the salacious porn fantasy I was expecting.
On the off chance that the stars aligned and someone attractive was in there with me it didn't matter. There was an unwritten rule that you stayed facing the shower head so that your back faced the traffic areas. When finished, you would grab your towel and cover up before heading back to your room, assuming you didn't change before you left the showers. As a horny teenager I tried literally every time slot multiple times. I wanted to find the absolute best time to 'accidentally' bump into cute girls. In reality, there was no best time because things just never got crazy. Maybe everyone else was just more mature than me and didn't want things to get wet and wild.
I wasn't entirely alone. The topic came up while my roommate and I were watching the infamous shower scene in
Starship Troopers
.
We both agreed that it would be awesome to be as comfortable as they were, but neither of us had the guts to do much about it. Instead, we shifted to talking about the girls we thought were hot and would most like to see. My room mate had nicknames for the girls he liked. Usually something about their appearance because we didn't know their names and were too socially awkward to ask. Eventually I adopted some of the nicknames too, just so we had something to talk about.
A woman we called Triple B (busty, blue-eyed brunette) was my favorite. I had spotted her several times in the halls, a few times coming or going from the showers, but never had the nerve to talk to her. I realize in hindsight how idiotic it is to want to have crazy, unabashed sex with someone but not having the courage to speak to them. It's not my fault I was horny and terrified at the same time. Not that any of it mattered because it was all a dumb fantasy anyway, one that I was confident I would never experience. That didn't stop me from thinking about it though.
With careful planning I had arranged my schedule so I didn't have a class till 2:00pm on Mondays. This allowed me to stay up late on Saturday and Sunday without worrying about being tired. That time would have been great for extra credit projects or additional studies but mostly I just played video games. As such, I had gotten into the habit of waking up around 9:45am on Mondays and making use of the mostly empty 10:00am open shower time before I went to breakfast. Like many Mondays before, I woke up with my alarm at 9:45 and crawled out of bed. My roommate was already gone, which wasn't unusual. I grabbed my towel, my bottle of body wash / shampoo / all-around-man-cleaner, put on my flip-flops and flip-flopped my way to the showers.
The last of the 9:30am men were leaving as I arrived and I was alone, as per usual. It was kinda nice being able to shower in peace like that without some dude making prison jokes. The shower area had six stalls, three on each side of the room. Each stall had two walls about six feet high on either side and a shower curtain at the back. Being as tall as I was, I could see over the stall walls, but just barely, and usually not enough to get a glance at anything worth looking at. I went to the stall on the far left because it had recently been replaced and had the best heat and water pressure. I was told they planned on replacing the others at some point but it had been over a month and there was no progress.
I hung my dry towel on the hook outside the stall, pulled back the shower curtain and stepped in once the water was warm enough. Another benefit of showering later in the day was that I didn't have to rush. A long, warm shower was basically my cup of coffee for the day and if I didn't get it I was always cranky. I spent a few minutes just enjoying the heat as it poured over my body in a steady stream. To my surprise, I heard flip flops plod in after a few minutes. It wasn't strange to have someone else around when I was, but it was definitely uncommon. I didn't bother to check who it was, it's not like I was friends with many people on this floor anyway.
The squeak of a turning shower handle echoed through the room. About thirty seconds later it turned off. Odd, I thought. Maybe they forgot something in their dorm? I heard the flip-flops plod over, then another squeak, this time in the stall across from mine. My back was facing whoever it was, and I suddenly wondered if I shut the curtain all the way or if they would get a good look at my butt. Not that it mattered. That was kind of the point of a coed shower, to de-sexualize the human body. Roughly thirty seconds later the water behind me stopped and the flip-flops continued to the stall next to me. With a big glob of all purpose man cleaner, I lathered my head and beard, using the excess soap to cover my body. There was a squeak of a rotating shower handle and the rush of water in the stall next to me. As I lathered some soap dripped over my eyelids, forcing me to keep them closed.
"Ugh, seriously?" a female voice protested, "Is there no hot water? Did you take it all?" the voice asked me, upset but clearly poking fun. I leaned forward and let the water splash over my face, trying to rinse the soap from my eyes.
"If you get here late, they sometimes run out of hot water. This one just got replaced, so it works great," I said, scrubbing my scalp and trying to clear the soap from my eyes. I felt a change in the water pressure and a faint spray on my face, as if someone had put their fingers in front of the shower head.
"Wow, yours is warm. Move over, I'm coming in," she said.
"What?" I asked. There's no way I heard that correctly.
With my eyes still pressed shut I heard my shower curtain slide open behind me. Whether or not it was parted open before, she definitely got a look at my butt now. I felt a small hand push against my back, gently pushing me toward the stall wall to make room for another human in the enclosed space. I heard the shower curtain slide back into place and finished wiping soap and water out of my eyes. I was facing the stall wall with my back to whoever had just entered, but the fact that I knew it was a woman made my heart pound in my chest.
"Sorry to barge in on you like this but I have an interview in thirty minutes and can't go in smelling like a wildebeest," she said. Because of the close confines of the shower stall (and my uncommonly round butt) I felt us touching. It was brief, but we kept bumping into each other as we tried to fit together in the tiny stall. I still had no idea who it was but the fact that I was naked and lightly brushing against her was enough to send a rush of blood down south.
Don't get a boner, don't get a boner, don't get a boner
