I've spent years browsing subreddit threads, reading confessions from girlfriends and wives who have crossed the line, as well as countless posts from men who secretly fantasize about infidelity and their partner being unfaithful. It's surprising how common this seems to be nowadays.
And I understand, because I've been in that situation.
Long-distance relationships are tough. No matter how deep the love or strong the connection, they create gaps.. gaps that texts, FaceTime calls, and late-night "I miss you" messages can't always bridge.
I never questioned my feelings for my boyfriend, but love can't replace physical touch. It can't substitute the warmth of waking up beside someone, the weight of a body against yours, or the rush of desire when someone pulls you in with an urgency that says, I need you right now.
And after months without intimacy, temptation stops being just temptation, it starts to feel inevitable.
I never planned to cheat.. I never saw myself as that kind of person. I've always been faithful. But when you go that long without being touched, you start noticing things you never did before--the way other men look at you, how a lingering touch sparks something deep inside, and how an innocent conversation can slowly turn into something more.
And eventually... you break.
It's a long story, but let's just say I ended up hooking up with one of my boyfriend's friends a few times when he came to San Francisco on a business trip. They both lived in San Diego, and at the time, I was living and working in SF.
And that's where Ryan comes in.
I had met him a handful of times when I was visiting my boyfriend. They weren't best friends, but they had been friendly for years, the kind of casual connection where they'd run into each other at industry events, bars and nightclubs.
I still remember one night in particular. My boyfriend and I ran into him again at this stylish restaurant-bar lounge in the Gaslamp Quarter--one of those trendy spots with craft cocktails, moody lighting, and a late-night menu that always hit the spot. We ended up sharing a table, eating tacos, drinking Coronas, and laughing like it was just another night.
At the end of the night, Ryan casually asked if it was ok to get my number, saying he had a business trip to San Francisco and needed restaurant recommendations for his clients. It seemed innocent enough.. I didn't think twice about it.
