"You can't be serious!"
"Of course I am," I sighed.
"But that would mean..."
"Yep," I said, nodding slowly as I watched my cousin Lillian digest the news.
"So, you're trying to tell me that Janice, the woman you were engaged to, is now a nun?" she asked, still not quite believing me. I didn't bother to answer. Janice wasn't a nun yet, but she had decided to become one. It pretty much amounted to the same thing.
We were sitting at a table in a hall waiting for the rest of my extended family to start showing up. I was drinking vodka on the rocks. Normally I was a beer drinker, but not today.
"What is it about you?" Lillian finally laughed. I nodded in acceptance. This was going to be a long day. I really didn't want to come to the family gathering this year, but it was my mother's turn to throw the party. I tried to skip it anyway, but mom became upset. So upset in fact, that in the end I backed off and agreed to make an appearance. I was regretting it now.
"I'm guessing little brother Michael just told you about Janice?" my sister Christina grinned as she walked up.
"It's amazing!" Lillian said, continuing to laugh. "He really knows how to pick them!"
"You're telling me?" Christina asked rhetorically, joining Lillian in her laughter.
"Are you two done having fun at my expense?" I asked as I took another sip of the vodka.
"Not hardly!" my sister replied. "The first girl you ever dated seriously quit school and traveled to India to find herself."
"The second dropped you for another woman," Lillian added helpfully.
"And now Janice," Christina said with a shake of her head, still laughing.
"Bette traveled to Tibet, not India," I said glumly.
"Same difference," my sister laughed.
"So, you three seem to be having fun," my cousin Tommy said as he walked up. "What's the joke?" Christina and Lillian looked at each other, obviously trying to decide who would get to tell him.
"Oh, Christ!" I growled as I stood. "I need some fresh air!"
"What's bothering him?" I could hear Tommy ask as I went down the stairs and out of the hall. I didn't wait to hear their answer. The sun was bright and it took a few moments for my eyes to adjust. The fact that I was already half drunk didn't help.
I made my way down the block toward a bar I knew. It wasn't a particularly nice place, but the booze did what it was supposed to. It was one of those dark basement bars. I don't know how long I was in there, but it was long enough to finish what I started at the party. I was so focused on my drinking that I didn't notice someone come up behind me until I felt a tap on my shoulder. I nearly jumped out of my skin.
"Michael?" a soft voice asked. I turned and blinked hard a couple of times as I tried to make out the face of the young woman in front of me.
"Do I know you?" I asked, trying to place the voice.
"It's me, Daphne," the woman said with a frown. At least I thought she was frowning. It was hard to make out in the dim light. Okay, maybe the amount of alcohol I drank had something to do with it as well.
"I don't know anyone named Daphne," I said with a shake of my head. The motion caused my head to spin slightly. "Oh wow! I'm drunker than I thought."
"You know me," she insisted. "Take a closer look." I know it was a figure of speech, but I was having problems making out her features so I squinted and literally moved closer. I would have fallen off of the chair if Daphne hadn't put out a hand to help steady me.
"Good catch!" I laughed. The woman shook her head as she smiled. That did it! I suddenly recognized her. "Little Daffy!"
"No one calls me that anymore," the young woman replied.
"I would imagine not," I said, noticing the size of her breasts. They were quite a bit larger than I remembered. Of course, Daffy was only twelve the last time I saw her.
"Michael, you're staring at my breasts," she said with a crooked grin. This caused me to start.
"Sorry," I said looking up into her eyes and blinking hard again. It didn't help. I was still having problems making out her features.
"You really are plastered," she laughed.
"It's been a bad year," I replied with a loud sigh.
"Why don't we go down the block and get some food and coffee at the local diner?" Daphne asked.
"You drink coffee and are willing to eat at a diner?" I asked in surprise. You'd understand my reaction if you knew her family. They were health nuts.
"I'm not my sister Bette," she replied pointedly. I didn't want to talk about Bette! She was the first woman to leave me.
"So, you're not planning on breaking my heart?" I slurred. Shit! What the hell was I talking about?
"We'll see," she replied with a laugh. "Now let's go get something to eat."
I'm not sure how we got to the diner. I was too big for Daphne to carry, but she must have propped me up most of the way. It was only after I ate a full order of pancakes and drank my second cup of coffee that I was finally able to see Daphne clearly.
"Sorry about this," I said glumly as I used one hand to rub my eyes and then the rest of my face. "Thanks for getting me out of there." She nodded.
"So, dare I ask? What brought this on?"
"Family gathering."
"Do you always get drunk by yourself because of family gatherings?"
"Not normally," I replied. "At least not by myself." Daphne laughed and I fell silent. I was still having problems keeping myself fully focused. A couple of minutes passed as I drank more of my coffee.
"How have you been?" she asked. "I hear you're getting married."
"No," I said succinctly, not wanting to talk about it. Yet a moment later, I added, "We broke up. She decided to become a nun."
"Are you serious?" Daphne asked. I was so sick of that question!
"Yes, I'm serious," I replied. "Your sister dumped me to go find herself, Sally dropped me for another woman and Janice decided to marry God instead of me."
"I'm sorry," Daphne said. I nodded, but then frowned because her reaction was not typical.
"You're not laughing?" I asked in surprise.
"I suppose it could be funny at some level, but your pain isn't."
"Thanks," I said, really meaning it. I decided to change the subject, so I asked, "Why don't you tell me about yourself and what's been happening to you for the last six years? How does a girl who was raised in your family eat at a diner? A hamburger no less!"
"Please!" Daphne laughed. "If Mark or Francesca saw me eating this burger they'd have a fit!" Mark and Francesca were Daphne and Bette's parents. They were good people, but bleeding heart liberals were just a tad too far to the right for their liking. The year I dated Bette was interesting to say the least.
"But you're eating it anyway," I grinned.
"I like hamburgers," Daphne shrugged.
"And I notice you're wearing a bra," I teased. "You must be the first girl in your family to do that!"
"You certainly keep staring at my chest often enough to notice," Daphne teased back. I refused to look anywhere but at her face, yet Daphne's smile let me know that she knew what I was thinking. I blushed and she laughed again, adding, "The bra has more to do with need rather than rebellion."
We spoke for another half hour as I continued to pump coffee into my veins. Mostly we talked about nothing special. Daphne was working as a waitress and studying to be a child psychologist. No surprise there. Not being raised in her family. Her father was an environmental lawyer and her mother a doctor who was instrumental in starting a nearby clinic.
