Dear Diary,
Today Steven asked if I wanted to go biking after school with him. He's lived next door ever since I can remember, but it's been a long time since we played together. A few years ago at school he started hanging out with a different crowd than the neighborhood gang, and I think he thought he was somehow better than us all of a sudden. But, when he talked to me today, it seemed like he didn't think that at all. I don't really know what to think now. I guess I'll go with him tonight, but if he thinks he's real cool stuff now then I'll stay away from him after that.
I'll write later,
Wendy
Dear Diary,
Steven was at my house with his bike right after school. I grabbed mine and we took the nice way to the creek path. It felt like we weren't even in the suburbs anymore. I had to go slower than Steven because the path is bumpy and hilly, but he didn't speed ahead. He waited for me to catch up. I think that was really nice of him.
When we got to the bridge that crosses over to Elm Heights, we stopped. I told Steven I didn't want to be out too late because I still have homework to do (I have to get that done, so I should be quick writing this, but I want to get it all down). Anyway, at the bridge Steven took out a bottle of pop and package of cupcakes, like the ones mom sends to school with me for lunch. He handed me a cupcake. We ate them sitting on the bridge with the water rushing under us. The sun was a warm orange and Steven said I looked beautiful eating my cupcake in the sun. I felt embarrassed, but it made me feel squishy inside. He offered me a sip of his pop and I was reluctant, but I was thirsty so I had some. My lips circled the same spot his did! I felt like I was touching his body. I had a flash vision of covering the head of his penis the same way I was sucking on the pop bottle. Since Steven is a year older, I wonder if he has been with anyone. I don't know much about his life anymore.
I said again that I should get home before it gets dark, so we headed back. It was harder going back uphill, but again Steven waited and even walked his bike beside me when it was too steep for me.
When we got to the end of the path he asked me if he could kiss me! Can you believe it? My heart almost stopped. I was so scared. I didn't know what to say. I was glad we were hidden by the trees, because if my mom or any of the neighbors saw us and told my mom, I would be in BIG TROUBLE. I ended up stuttering out a croaky 'ok'. He held my head in his hands and pressed his lips against mine. It felt like what he was doing. The kiss lasted for what must have been five minutes, but felt like hours. He didn't move his mouth around like they do in some movies (thank god...I'm scared I won't know what to do when that happens!).
When he finished kissing me, we walked our bikes the rest of the way home on the sidewalk. My stomach was filled with warm, fluttering butterflies. My mind was a cluttered jumble of thoughts. I managed to ask him something I needed to know: how many girls he had kissed. He said that he had kissed a few chicks during spin the bottle games and truth or dare, but that he had been too busy with his friends lately to have time for girls. He said that he didn't want that anymore, and that he had ditched his friends to spend his time with me.
I feel on top of the world. Steve likes me. And not just likes me, but likes me enough that he chose me over his friends.
I think I like him back!
Wendy
Dear Diary,
My birthday party is today. My mom has invited Grandpa and Grandma Hill, Mama and Papa Prient, my aunts and uncles and a bunch of my cousins. Susie said she would come to save me from them, but she forgot she had a piano recital today. So I'm stuck alone with them. Ugh.
I guess it won't be that bad. Mom's making her special chocolate cake with the vanilla icing and I guess I might get some nice presents.
I'll be nineteen at 6:43pm. I don't look or feel older, but this is supposed to be such a monumental age. I hope it is an exciting year for me. I don't want to waste it, because I'll never be nineteen again.
There's the doorbell...sounds like Aunt Frida. I'd better go.
Wendy
Dear Diary,