Doctor Dilemma Pt 01

This story takes place at a time in my life when things were pretty much as good as I ever could've hoped them to be, and yet I still managed to make such a colossal mistake I risked throwing everything away. Let me explain...

My wife, Andrea, and I met in undergrad our senior year, started dating, and got married three years later. She had always wanted to be a writer, while I've been predestined to be a doctor my entire life. My father was an obstetrician, and while he always told me that when I grew up I could be any KIND of doctor I wanted, the idea of me pursuing a non-medical career would've been grounds for estrangement. At the time, I thought he was just looking out for me and my future, but now that I'm older and have a child of my own, I fully realized how fucked up it actually was.

But that's water under the bridge, as I ended up following his plan to a T and barely ever pushed back or rebelled. In fact, despite being supposedly free to choose whatever medical field I wanted, I ended up following in his footsteps and also became an obstetrician. I did take a slightly different approach and pursue a dual OB/GYN background, mainly so I could have more flexibility, but in the end I was basically following his career path, more or less. For those of you who aren't familiar with the specific fields, an obstetrician deals solely with pregnancy, meaning pregnant women and delivering babies. A gynecologist deals with women's health, and specifically with non-pregnant women. So despite seeming like there's an obvious overlap between the two, there is also a clear separation.

In choosing my field (or fields), I knew there would always be some level of joking and comments from friends and even strangers that came with it. Even growing up, my friends would make jokes all the time about my dad being a gynecologist, even though ironically he wasn't (again, he was solely an obstetrician). But since I've gone down this career path as well, I've already heard every comment in the book. Most often, it's people asking me how I ended up an OB/GYN, and it's usually accompanied with some skepticism where I can't help but feel like I need to prove that I'm not simply perverted. Thankfully, I've always had the very succinct explanation that I was following in my father's footsteps, and that almost always suffices.

I've had numerous friends, some of whom I'm really close with, and some whom I barely know, express their extreme jealously and explain how much they'd love to just examine pussy all day long. They'll ask me all sorts of questions about what it's like, what goes on during a checkup, and how women usually react to different parts of the exam. For the most part, I'll try to humor them without going into too much detail. Obviously, HIPAA is a huge concern and I would never divulge anything I wasn't legally allowed to, but that really only covers information about specific people. Regardless, when we're having a conversation like this, without fail they'll always ask if I ever get sexually aroused during an exam, and if not, how do I manage to suppress that? My answer is always the same, and it's that I'm 100% focused on making sure my patient is healthy and getting the care she needs, and letting anything sexual get in the way of that would be a huge failing on my part. So I just don't let it happen.

Now that's what I tell them, and it's somewhat true, I guess. I absolutely do take the health of my patients to be the single most critical aspect of any time I spend examining them. But there's no way I can honestly say there isn't sometimes a sexual aspect to it as well. To put it simply, I love female anatomy. I love everything about it, and there's no doubt my fascination with it at least partially contributed to me choosing the field of gynecology. I love looking at vaginas. I love feeling them. I even love their smell. And while I would never admit this out loud, not even to my wife, I take extreme pleasure it doing my job everyday because I get to help people and make sure they're healthy, but ALSO because I get to be up close and personal with one of the most beautiful things in the world, female genitalia.

I knew this when I chose to become a gynecologist, and I've know this ever since. But where do I draw the line between enjoying my job, and enjoying my job TOO much? Like I said, I've never discussed the pleasure I get from doing my job with anyone else, most likely because deep down I know I'm in the wrong. But I debate internally all the time whether or not I'm actually doing something immoral, and it's something I really struggle with. I'll try to rationalize that as long as it's not overtly sexual, then there's nothing wrong with it. But is it even possible to admire a beautiful woman spread-eagled in front of you and not have it be sexual? I don't think anyone would ever buy that. I know I would never have sex with a patient, and I know I would never perform an act during an exam that wasn't medically warranted, so if that's the case, then how could I be acting immorally? But even if I never do those two things, there's still a third way where I could cause huge potential harm, and it's exactly what I explained to my friends when they asked. The biggest harm of all would be getting distracted and not doing my job correctly. And so, often times I'll tell myself that as long as I focus and make absolutely sure I'm giving the utmost care and attention to the medical aspects of the exam, then any extracurricular enjoyment I get out of it is harmless. At least that's what I tell myself, but I'm definitely too chicken-shit to ever try to explain that to another human being.

So that's a quick peek inside my head as to how I ended up in the medical profession that I did. As to how I ended up WHERE I did, that has to do with a move we made shortly after our son Trent was born. Andrea and I had held off having kids for awhile, but once we started approaching thirty, we decided it was time. We ended up getting pregnant relatively quickly and Andrea gave birth to our son right after she hit the big 3-0. It didn't take long in our new role as parents before we realized just how big an endeavor raising a child was. I was working full-time, and pretty long hours at that, and Andrea was really struggling, especially with the loneliness. So after reevaluating our life and what needed to be done, we decided to up and move to Andrea's hometown in Oklahoma, where her parents still lived. She wanted to have Trent's grandparents be a big part of his life, and in her eyes there was no one better suited to give us a much-needed hand in raising him than her own two parents. I certainly wasn't going to say no, as it seemed like a great solution for everyone involved.

So we up and relocated to a very rural part of Oklahoma. First off, it was quite a culture shock for someone like me who had lived exclusively in urban or suburban areas his whole life. But on top of that, it meant I was likely to end up starting my own practice. There happened to be a need for a gynecologist in the area, and so while I had spent the majority of my working career thus far on the OB side of OB/GYN, this move was presenting me with an opportunity to switch to the other half. I decided that the opportunity made sense, and so I dove right in and started my own gynecological practice right in town.

It meant that instead of previously having to drive as much as 40 minutes away, women here now had a much closer option. From a business standpoint, it meant that I had no trouble finding plenty of patients, so my business was doing quite well right off the bat. The town was quite small, probably only 10,000 or so in population, but it's safe to say I was seeing the majority of the women who lived there within the first couple years.

That also meant that as time went by and we became more engrained into the town socially, I started seeing more women that I knew on a personal level as patients. Normally, women who live in populated areas, like cities or suburbs, will have plenty of choices in finding an OB/GYN. And as a result, they will almost always choose to see a doctor that they have no known connection with. It's just more comfortable and professional for everyone involved. On top of that, plenty of women nowadays will exclusively seek out female doctors, and won't even consider seeing a male gynecologist. But that's something that's only been possible in recent years as the demographics of OB/GYNs have started shifting dramatically from male to female.

When my father came out of med school in the late 60's, it was still heavily dominated by males. Even in the women's health fields, the doctors were probably 90% male at that time. When I was coming out of school in the mid 90's, my graduating OB/GYN class was pretty evenly split 50/50 in terms of male/female. But today, the shift continues to move further and further and it's probably 80 to 90% female in terms of new doctors coming out and entering the field. So there's no doubt that male gynecologists are becoming more and more rare.

But since we were located in such a small and remote town, my practice was relatively immune from the trends of women seeking women doctors, as well as the trend of women seeking doctors they weren't acquainted with. While it may have been their preference, it wasn't a strong enough preference to warrant driving an extra hour round trip for a routine checkup. And as a result, I was seeing a significant number of patients that I also knew on a personal level. It meant that I was seeing the wives, sisters, moms, and even daughters of some of my guy friends. For the most part, everyone treated it as no big deal, and I always managed to stay professional both inside and outside the office, despite the perverted thoughts that inevitably would make their way through my mind.

The one patient I would probably never see though, was Andrea. We had both decided long ago that for any of her medical needs, it'd be much better for her to see someone other than her husband. It didn't stop me from sometimes suggesting she swing by for some late night fun at my office, but that was one fantasy that had yet to be fulfilled. I've always fantasized about eating her pussy out while she has her legs up in my office, so hopefully one day she'll let me do that.

Despite not taking me up on that particular offer, Andrea and I do have a pretty fulfilling sex life. We're certainly not that young anymore as we're well into our late forties, but we consistently manage to have sex at least a couple times a month. She's not too adventurous, but I still find her exceptionally beautiful, and when we make love it always ends in both of us cumming with such a pleasurable release, that it's like a fine-tuned act that always hits the mark. The one downside is that it's extremely predictable, so I can't help but find my mind wandering towards other sexual scenarios from time to time. I've always been totally faithful to Andrea, and it's hard to imagine a scenario where I would ever cheat on her. But on the flip side, if I'm being honest, it's not like I could even remember having a single opportunity to cheat if I wanted to. I certainly don't actively go looking for a chance to hookup with women, and at my age, with my perfectly average looks, these scenarios aren't likely to come looking for me either.

That's not to say I haven't crossed some lines. By far, the worst thing I've done, which I'm certainly not proud of, has involved my practice. It's happened probably four or five times total over the years, and involves me masturbating at the office. It usually involves the combination of me being excessively horny while happening to have an appointment with an extremely beautiful patient. And while I conduct a completely normal exam and do everything by the book during it, it's right after it's over that I can't control my impulses.

The most recent time this happened was with a young, blonde woman named Madison. At the time, she was 20 I believe, but I had already seen her once before when she was 19. But this time, when I walked into the office and saw her sitting there, she really caught me off guard with how beautiful she had become. She had blossomed into this really curvy college student, and my first thought was she could easily be an OU cheerleader, an Instagram influencer, or something else along those lines if you know what I mean. She was clearly all grown up now and had turned into an unbelievably sexy young woman. And for whatever reason, I'm pretty sure my wife and I were in a dry spell at the time because I remember feeling especially horny, and as soon as I saw Madison sitting in her paper gown, I set off some mental fireworks in my mind in celebration of the fact that I was about to get to examine her.

Now yet again, I have to stress that despite my internal excitement, I gave her a completely normal and professional exam. This is probably a good time to point out that without fail, I always have a physician's assistant in the room with me during any exam I give. My usual assistant is a woman I know well named Stacie, and if I ever were to let my concentration slip and miss a step in anything I was doing, she would be the first to call me out. Stacie has always been a huge part of my practice, both because she's well qualified in her own right, and also because I know having her is an important check on my skills as a doctor to make sure I'm always giving the utmost care at all times, even with my perverted mind.

So after some initial chit chat with Madison, I started on her physical exam. I first checked her breasts, which I will do in pretty much every exam, for any signs of lumps, growths, or any other abnormalities. Her breasts felt totally normal from a medical standpoint, but absolutely exquisite from a beauty standpoint. I believe it had been slightly over a year since her first appointment, and it was pretty noticeable how much larger her boobs were this time. There's no doubt they were still growing, which isn't unheard of for a 19 or 20-year-old, but it's a little bit unusual. Some girls just continue to fill out as they enter their early 20's and Madison seemed to fit that profile.

As great as Madison's tits were, it wasn't until I started her pelvic exam when I knew this particular checkup was probably going to end up with me masturbating immediately after. As soon as she placed her legs up on the foot rests attached to the examination table, and I saw the bright lights shine down on her spread-open vagina, I couldn't help but be floored with how soaking wet her pussy was. The opening of her vagina was glistening with her own lubrication, and she was so wet that plenty of it had even made its way out onto her labia. Typically, there's two types of natural lubrication you'll see in a vagina. There's a creamy white discharge that's most often related to where they are in their menstrual cycle, and then there's a more clear and liquidy fluid or mucus that is more likely to be associated with sexual arousal. In this case, Madison was sopping wet, and it appeared to be more of the clear liquid kind.

Now, seeing someone with this amount of wetness isn't unheard of, but it definitely isn't the norm. More often that not, my patients will have no natural lubrication at all, especially when it comes to older patients. Older women in general usually don't have as much natural wetness, and exams like these are old hat for them, so they're usually as dry as can be and I need to made sure I use plenty of lubricant on my examination gloves. Younger women are definitely more likely to be wetter. Sometimes it's the nerves, especially if it's their first ever exam, that can result in their juices flowing in anticipation of getting examined. Even if they're dreading the exam and aren't sexually aroused in the least, their pussies can still get extremely wet, just from the nervousness alone.

But this wetness in Madison was on a whole other level. She was so soaked, that I couldn't help but contemplate if she was actually sexually aroused for some reason. Or is this just naturally how wet she always is? Either way, the thought of it was extremely arousing to me. So I began her pelvic exam, and in this case there was certainly no need for any artificial lubrication as my two fingers slid easily inside her. She wasn't due for either a Pap Smear or a rectal exam, so the exam was pretty quick and it just entailed me using my fingers inside her vagina to feel around and check her various reproductive organs. Everything checked out, so I removed my gloved hand that was inside her, and can't help but notice the two fingers I used in her are so soaked, they're glistening. The fact that they're like that without having used any lubricant is quite remarkable. I then proceeded to stand up and let Madison know that everything looked good.

At this point, objectively speaking, I've done absolutely nothing wrong. But that's about to change, as while Madison, Stacie, and I were all finishing up, I took off my used examination gloves, balled them up, and instead of disposing of them immediately into the trash as I normally would, I discretely pocketed them as I left the room.

I then immediately excused myself to the single-use employee bathroom, locked the door, and proceeded to masturbate using the smell and taste of those rubber gloves. Madison's juice was still fresh and so apparent, it was heavenly. As I sat there on the toilet, I took the glove I used inside her and sucked on the two fingers that were soaked with her pussy juice. In my mind, I was replaying the sight from just moments before where this gorgeous, young blonde was spread-eagled in front of me, and the combination of that image in my mind with her actual taste in my mouth quickly put me over the top, and soon enough I was shooting cum straight down into the toilet water below. The orgasm combined with the taste of real pussy was an incredible release, and after I was done I couldn't help but sit there for a few moments and enjoy the after-effects. And then after all that was over, I gathered myself and went back to work like it was any other day.

So as I said, I've done that only a few times over the years, where I secretly kept a pair of used gloves so I could lick the pussy juice off them later. And without a doubt, those are my lowest moments as both a husband and a doctor. For the most part, I'm able to keep my perversions pretty well contained within my head and not let them manifest into actual actions. I have plenty of thoughts that I'm not proud of, but I have to feel like, don't we all? I'm certainly exposed to more potentially enticing situations due to my line of work than the average male, so perhaps I really am doing the best I can. I mean, is it really possible for a heterosexual male to be a gynecologist and not once enjoy the act of examining the female anatomy in front of them? Is there anyone out there like that? Maybe that is the case, and I'm the exception and not the norm, but it's not something that is actively discussed among fellow doctors so it's hard to ever really know.

So that's my backstory. I'm a small town gynecologist with a great wife, Andrea, and a happy marriage. It's safe to say I love my job for both perverted and non-perverted reasons. I have an awesome 18-year-old son, Trent, who's in the middle of his senior year of high school and about to decide on college and his future. He's extremely bright, hard working, and also a genuinely nice kid. I don't know if that's a credit to us as parents, or we just lucked out in getting a great kid, but we definitely have a good thing going. As I've said numerous times already, all was good in my life, and then with one fateful appointment, everything changed.

It's an ordinary Wednesday morning that's starting off like any other, but when I see the patient list for the day, one name in particular jumps out at me: Ashley Wentworth.