Introduction:
To start off, I'm an extroverted introvert. I'm not comfortable in group social situations, although most people don't notice it. I'm great one on one and in groups where I know everyone or around strangers that I'm teaching. Life events and my work have taught me to be more social, but I don't enjoy it and tend to stick on the outskirts.
That being said, I'm a people watcher. I'm constantly analyzing other people's actions and figuring out their motives. I prefer to sit back and watch others in a group setting than actively participate. To those select few I actually allow to get to know me, I'm quick with a sarcastic remark and witty banter. Even then, I don't reveal many of my inner thoughts.
I think I'm average looking. My face is pretty with big blue eyes and dark auburn hair. I wear glasses most of the time. I have large boobs, smaller waist, large ass, and thick thighs. I've been told I'm built like a brick shit house. I find it hard to believe that any men find me attractive because of my larger size and strange personality. Therefore, in my head, I'm not flirted with. I genuinely take the flirtatious banter as fun, playful sarcasm or comic relief.
I can't recall ever being hit on. When I dated, I generally met guys through friends who set me up. (God, even admitting that to myself is depressing.)
Anyway, so when you started coming by my office to say hi and bull shit for a few minutes, I didn't think anything of it. People stop by all the time to chat. However, I always looked forward to you stopping by because I enjoyed our conversations more than most. I thought you were attractive but just as a passing thought. You've got a swimmer's lean body type with brown hair and hazel eyes. You're very analytical yourself and have interesting insight. You view the world a little differently and I found that intriguing.
Over time, we were able to talk or debate topics and even if we disagreed, which was very rare, we could agree to disagree. We would talk about everything from families and kids to work to politics and religion. I don't remember why I gave you my number or how we even started our texting exchanges. It started off as sarcastic retorts or small comments about our day. We would have entire conversations using nothing but GIFs and those were hilarious. I looked forward to those chats, they were so much fun.
Months later on Halloween, I was dressed as a fairy and you were in a ghillie suit. You stood next to me and kept looking at me. I kept wondering if I was having a wardrobe malfunction and would tug at my outfit. I was nervous having you look at me, but I also liked it. I kept trying to avert my eyes, so it didn't look like I was staring at you too much.
You were having so much fun handing out candy and scaring some of the older kids. There was something about your easygoing, joking nature that I wanted to be around. With the intelligent interesting conversations, your relaxed attitude, and your good looks, you went from attractive to sexy as hell in my book.
Time went on and we continued to text and chat. Sometimes we would send GIFs back and forth to see how much of the conversation could be double entendres. It was so much fun and after a while it was a challenge to think of new ones that fit with the subject matter being discussed.
Then one day, you sent me a GIF of a woman asking to be spanked. I don't know where the confidence came from, but I asked if you wanted a real answer or a joking one. You said real. Even with that, I debated whether I should answer honestly. I've always been embarrassed revealing any of my personal thoughts and wants, much less those of a sexual nature.
After a few minutes of typing and deleting texts, I decided to tell you the truth. I told you that I'd like to try it. You were intrigued and asked what else I'd like to try but I refused until you told me one of yours. You told me you'd like to be more aggressive in the bedroom. That's something I fantasize about as well, just on the receiving end. As we continued to text, the more it seemed we were in well matched in our desires.
That conversation changed the strange friendship we had built. Now on top of discussing real issues and ridiculous banter, we also started discussing items of a sexual nature to include fantasies. It took quite some time before I was able to be honest about a lot of deeply personal things but with your lack of judgment and complete trust, you broke down those walls.
I still get extremely embarrassed when revealing some of my thoughts and wants but you genuinely want to know so I push through. I'm glad you forced me to admit some things I'd been unwilling to admit to myself. It opened my eyes a little bit more into myself and I love hearing your thoughts and fantasies too. We both want to explore our sexuality and try new things while finding out limits. We've agreed that neither one of us is into pain, thank goodness.
Well, we've been talking for about two years now and we've finally agreed to give in to our physical desires.
Present Day:
I'm terrified.
That's all I keep thinking as I drive to the hotel to meet you. I'm nervous and excited and I hope this works well. I'm terrified that this'll end badly for our friendship and embarrassed to even want these fantasies. My stomach is in knots.
