Finding My Way Pt 01

All persons depicted in this story are over the age of 18. This is a complete work of fiction and any resemblance to anyone is purely coincidental.

Packing up her tiny dorm was painfully slower than Kit ever wished. Down the hall and out in the parking lot, tearful and happy echoes rang of families reuniting. Conversations between friends as they passed by her door -- "--so he's coming home to meet my family and we're driving up to Long Island together on Satur--" The silence fell too quickly in the afternoon as more people departed campus, and the typically busy Princeton and the microwave mac-and-cheese she had found in the back of the cabinet grew cold now on her desk.

Kit ripped out pages from her chemistry notebook, trying to ignore the "K <3 P," "P <3 K" doodles in the margins. Attached to her bulletin board were sticky notes she had just now bothered to toss, her ignorance echoing back to her through the weeks as she reread the contents before tossing them in her overflowing garbage.

"Hey bestie, meet me in the all-night study room later. I'm OVERLOADED with Chem II. -Kaboodle"

"Can't come home this weekend. Got a warm-up game with the boys. Sorry." Written in Josh's terrible handwriting.

How long had they snuck around behind her back?

It had been two weeks since Josh went home early and shortly after, Holly, her dormmate, her so called "best friend" and "Kaboodle," decided to stay elsewhere. Where? Kit couldn't care less.

Kit and Josh had dated since 8

th

grade, after passing back and forth the cliché "do you like me?" "I like you too" notes in Mr. Finster's history class. In her junior and senior years, Kit had pulled her grades up enough and taken three extracurriculars -- xylophone in the band in the fall, then yearbook and geography club -- to score a wait list entry into Princeton alongside her star. Josh came on lacrosse scholarship to study public administration, hoping one day to score a ticket to the senate floor in D.C.

She and Josh had decided not to move in together to avoid distractions for the both of them. Princeton isn't easy, of course, and the first two semesters had proven so. Kit had barely passed her Chemistry course and earned a solid 82 B in pre-calculus. Her main focus had been on her Geosciences -- Ocean and Climate, and Natural Disasters. She had done better there, earning an 89 and a 93 respectively. She flipped through her textbook now, the pages showing how weather had changed and formed the earth over hundreds of thousands of years. It fascinated her as much now as it did when she first stood beside the Grand Canyon at 8.

She didn't miss Josh. She missed how he would catch her running her fingers over the pages of landscapes and lay her down to run his fingers over her just the same. She missed how he would tell her that her body was just as beautiful and perfectly formed. She missed being cared for. She missed... when she thought she had people to rely on.

BANG!

A door slammed close by, throwing her out of her stupor. Kit slammed the book closed and threw it in amongst the others in a stack. She wasn't leaving until tomorrow morning to avoid the rush hour traffic back into Jersey City. She hadn't slept well the night before and had too much packing left. Now, all that was left, were some paperclips in a drawer, her clothes and essentials in a suitcase, a HelloFresh box beginning to crumble from the weight of those books, and two garbage bags that rattled as she sat them in the hall to take to the dumpsters.

She laid back on her purple comforter and wished she hadn't already put her CDs in the car. Josh always laughed when she pulled them out and blasted NSYNC or AC/DC. But the music was her late father's. He'd been gone just under a year, passing away in the summer between high school and Princeton from lung cancer. From smoking so much when he was on the road in his younger years, he'd said.

Kit drifted off thinking and missing her dad. The last, good day was the celebration dinner he'd cooked for her and Josh. Burgers and hot dogs, baked potatoes, and her favorite broccoli casserole. Chocolate ripple ice cream in her mother's homemade waffle cones. The night her and Josh had lost their virginity to each other and promised to not let college pull them apart. Bullshit now, she knew. But the pain was still fresh, and the memories still sweet.

Once the plates were in the sink and the sun had started to settle, Josh had announced he had his own special gift for her and promised to have her back before midnight. They'd been together so long that neither set of parents ever questioned it.

They took familiar turns, and Kit was extremely confused when they ended up at their high school.

"Why... are we here?" Josh held up a full key ring that jingled loudly with the slyest of smiles.

"I may have told coach I wanted practice after hours before the scouts come next week."

"And he let you take... his whole keyring?"

"Well, not really. He said I could take the key from his office to the locker room, but what'll ya know. I couldn't get that old key off the loop."

"Josh... he's going to know you did this."

"Relax, he's going to never know we were here. Besides, we graduate in two weeks. We can just say... you were here to help me work on my... form."

Josh eyed sideways with the most mischievous grin she'd ever seen. They got out of the car and he led her around the back of the school to the field house. He unlocked an old, rusted door that opened to a dusty, metal staircase up.

"Josh, no. Come on. This is dangerous. What even is this?"

"You'll see, kitten. Come on."

They climbed what seemed to be an indoor fire escape that led to a hatch. It opened to the sky, and Kit and Josh stepped out onto the roof of the field house.

Josh opened his arms and spun around, throwing his head back, like a kid catching snowflakes on their tongue for the first time.

"Behold... where they come to retrieve stray balls. And the most private location I could find for us in Jersey City."

Josh retrieved a blanket and pillow from his duffel he'd apparently brought on a previous visit. Wrapped in the blanket was a bottle of sparkling cider and two shot glasses.

"I'm sorry, this is the best I could do. But... I wanted to celebrate with you. Without parents. Somewhere where you could look at the landscape."

Josh really had picked the perfect spot. From here, you could see for a few miles. The lights of downtown sparkled in the distance, and farther, water of what was likely Newark Bay. The canvas of suburb blending into urban and river, telling it's own story of history and progression.

Josh took her hand and pulled her into a tight embrace. "It's beautiful, I know. But not as beautiful as you."

He had set out the blanket and the cider in the shot glasses while she was lost in the view. He pulled her to sit and raised his shot glass in a toast.

"To sweet goodbyes, and to our future."

They threw back the cider in yet unpracticed motion. They laid back, eyeing what little they could of the constellations through the pollution of the city and the light.

Their cuddles led to kissing, and Kit grinded lightly against his leg, causing a fit of giggles. She eyed the tent in Josh's shorts, and holding her hand, he guided her to touch and stroke him through the fabric.

"Josh, I've wanted you forever. I want to explore with you. I think tonight feels like the night."

"I think so, too. I want you so badly, KitKat, more than anything."

He kissed her deeply and guided her legs around his waist. They stayed that way for a long time, making out and touching each other underneath their shirts. Finally, Josh sat her up to pull off her shirt. He fumbled to unclasp her bra, but with a guiding hand, she undid it. It fell to the blanket, and she felt Josh's sharp intake of breath.

"What, is something wrong?" She said.

"No, no. You're just so goddamn perfect."

He buried his face in her tits and laid her back down. He pulled off his polo, showing off the musculature carved from four years of lacrosse and working out. Kit unbuttoned and pulled off her jeans, revealing that she had gone commando.

Josh knew sometimes she liked to do that to feel sexy, and he growled in her ear now at the revelation.

He unzipped his shorts and threw them to the side, revealing Star Wars boxers printed with "use the force" that sent Kit into a laughing fit.

"Oh come on, they aren't THAT funny..." But he was laughing too.

They continued making out, skin on skin. His erection had escaped his boxers and was pressing against her belly. She pushed him gently to his back and pulled the boxers off, his cock popping out. It was bigger than she expected -- nothing of a world record, certainly, but big enough that it made her nervous.

She kissed, ever so gently, from his ear, down his neck and chest, and finally, to his cock. She licked from base to tip, tasting the salty precum. Then she took him into her mouth and began to bob her head up and down, just like her friends talked about at sleepovers. He moaned in pleasure, and then grabbed her head and began to guide her. She continued to pleasure him with her mouth until he seemed to be getting too close to finishing.

She pulled away and he took that as a signal to retrieve a condom from the side of his duffel bag and put it on.

He laid her back and guided himself to her entrance.

"Before we do this, are you completely sure?"

"Josh, I love you. I don't think I've ever been more sure of anything than tonight."

His thrust slowly, entering her inch by inch, not wanting to hurt her.

"It's not hurting, Josh. Not nearly as bad as they say. Please, just fuck me."

He thrust deeply into her, and the feeling she felt as he filled her was heaven. The warmth and weight of him fucking her consumed her every thought. She wanted more, more...

Kit awoke with a start. It was dark out now, and her phone glowed "6:46" in the dark. Her hand had found its way into her shorts, and she gently rubbed her fingers against her clit and inserted them into her pussy. She thought of having a big cock fucking her again -- missed that weight and wished for more than her hand. She bucked her hips to take in more of her fingers, until she had four of them massaging herself and her wetness sounded out into the dimness of her dorm. Her orgasm ran through her like fireworks, and the pleasure consumed her. She grabbed her pillow and bit down, feeling the spasms slow, reality melting back to her. That Josh had cheated, and that he had cheated with Holly. That her dad wasn't here anymore, and her mom had to move houses further out of the suburbs in order to keep up the bills. No more excursions to the roof of the field house. One college year had taken so much good away.

Kit fell back asleep, ready to get out of this place. Ready to be with her mom, and her brother. Ready to move on.