The seat is too soft.
That is all I can think about as we ride to the hotel from the airport. It is Saturday and my parents think that I am with my friends' family enjoying a casual vacation in Florida. I should feel guilty but I don't.
Adam is there smiling while he drives his beat up old car with its too soft leather seats. He is looking like the cat that caught the canary. I still can't believe how late it is. My flight leaving Washington D.C. and heading for Philadelphia was delayed. I am secretly very annoyed.
Two weeks ago when Adam called me, just after my 18th birthday, asking me to come visit him and celebrate his new ,all important, job I planned to arrive in the afternoon and take a taxi to the hotel. I would nap, maybe eat lunch, and just wait there for him to arrive. That way I could sleep on the plane without any fear of my contacts drying out my eyes, my hair getting messed up, and feeling immediately guilty for flirting with my fellow passengers.
Now I can't enjoy any of that.
We are heading straight for our hotel, The Embassy Suites, and an all expenses paid vacation courtesy of Adam. I should be grateful but I am not. I am very nervous because I know what will happen.
Tonight I will lose my virginity.
Months ago, just after we met, I told Adam that I dreamed of losing my virginity in a glamorous hotel. That instead of waiting for marriage I only wanted to wait until I was 18. Why 18? My tendency towards dating older men left me with a deep seeded need to 'protect' them from jealous boys and girls my own age who would love to start trouble if our relations took an illicit turn.
When I told him that I never dreamed he would remember.
We are at the hotel and Adam is rushing me in. The pause in the lobby to check in takes only moments and before I am prepared we are in the room. I make some show of un packing; I am planning to stay two weeks. The hotel room is much better than imagined. It contains a small dining area, living room, and most importantly, a bedroom.
Meanwhile Adam calls room service.
A short time later we are sitting at the dining area table talking. I am so nervous that my hands are shaking. I can barely hold my wine glass. Even though I do not like the taste of wine I down one glass and ask for another. I don't want to be drunk; I just want to be calm.
Adam is smiling.
When dinner is finished I excuse myself for a shower. I do not feel dirty but I have an obsession with hair. I like my skin to be smooth and I want to shave one last time before IT happens.