I grew up in a conservative Irish Catholic family on the East Coast. My parents are both very religious and they expected me to go to church every Sunday.
I've always been shy and introverted. As I went through junior high and high school, I had a small circle of friends. I was too shy to talk to the girls. I didn't have any female friends.
I started to discover my sexuality when I was 12 or 13. When I was thirteen, my pubic hair started to grow. At that age, I was becoming more and more fascinated with my penis. I used to look at it in the mirror. I was 12 or 13 when I first masturbated. I learned to masturbate when I was in the shower. I adjusted the shower head so that it would spray a jet-like massage spray. I laid down in the bath tub and let the spray of water land on my cock. I got hard and I enjoyed the new sensations. When I came, it was fantastic! I started masturbating every day in the shower.
During junior high, I started looking at catalog pictures of women in lingerie, bras and panties, and swimsuits.
During high school, I was attracted to a girl named Bridget. She was intelligent and I would have liked to date her. I was too shy to talk to her and I didn't have any self confidence. I used to think about her while I masturbated.
In high school, I often masturbated while looking at the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue. It always turned me on.
I went through high school without a single date. There were lots of girls that I found attractive but I was much too shy to talk to any of them. (My advice to any high school boys that are reading this: Talk to the girls that you like. You must learn to overcome your shyness. Don't make the same mistakes that I did.)
I graduated from high school in June 1991.
I went to college in New York state. When I arrived on campus, I moved into my dorm room. The school provided orientation information for all the freshmen. Included in the materials condom and instructions on how to use it. I remember how erotic it was to put on a condom for the first time. I wanted to try it. I wanted to practice. I wanted to know what it would feel like to have a condom on my hard cock. I masturbated with the condom on my dick.
I lived in a co-ed dorm but there were no women that lived on my floor. Since my major was computer science, there were few women in my classes. I didn't meet any women. I was too shy.
I transferred to a different college. The new school had an equally poor ratio of females to males. (My advice to any young men that are reading this: choose a college that has a balanced ratio of men to women.) I was still shy and introverted.
During my sophomore year, there was a 20 year old woman named Susan in one of my classes. She was Chinese. I started to fantasize having sex with her. I thought about her while I masturbated. (I am white) I developed a strong interest in Asian women.
My college years were uneventful. No dates and almost no contact with any women.
During college, I became interested in porn. I used to view porn from the Internet and I started buying pornographic magazines. I masturbated while looking at pictures of naked women and pictures of people engaged in intercourse.
I worked hard during college. I was always stressed out. I always needed a sexual release. I masturbated a lot.
After graduating from college, I moved to the West Coast. I went on two or three dates in 1995. Nothing happened.