Imaginary Friends Hook Up

Imaginary Friends Hook Up

Can their "real" counterparts get together too?

The mirror was still slightly fogged over. Clay glanced at it after he got out of the shower Monday morning, but something he saw there gave him pause. The foggy image in the mirror was him, and yet it wasn't him.

"Hey guy. How ya doin?"

"Jay?" Could it be?

The image looked down toward Clay's groin. "Dude. You're packin!"

"What?" Clay glanced down too. "Yeah...well I just got out of the shower. It's not really that impressive most of the time. But thanks, I guess."

"Hey. First impressions count."

"Jay, I'm surprised to see you. I haven't seen you in years."

"Nope. Not since you pussied out and quit football sophomore year. Just because you got your bell rung. But I'm always with ya. I'm always looking out for ya. Don't you know that? Don't you remember?"

"I guess I always kind of felt like you were there, somewhere. But still I didn't expect I'd ever actually see you again. Why show up now, after all these years?"

"Cuz you need me, buddy, you and that cock of yours. You're both going to waste. You need some action. You got to get into the game, man!"

"Tell me about it." Clay grabbed hold of his dick. He felt it start to swell. He pulled his hand away and admired himself in the mirror, not just his dick, but all of his naked body. "Not bad," he thought. Not exactly cut, but reasonably fit. There were women out there who might want this body. He didn't know who, exactly, but he felt confident there must be some, somewhere. Then slowly, his reflection morphed into Jay again.

"So here's the deal: It's Kristen, at work, that redhead from Purchasing. She's the one, baby. She's the one. And you gotta go get it."

"What do you mean, 'she's the one?' And how do you know? She barely talks to me. She barely talks to anyone."

"It's the quiet ones that'll get ya, man! I'm telling you. Ya gotta break through that shell. Cuz underneath...oh baby has she got the fire! I'm telling you, that girl will fuck you into next week! Everything you always dreamed of, man. She'll suck your dick just for fun, and like it. She'll be so into you, you'll wonder if you can keep up with her."

"Kristen? Kris? Shy, quiet, withdrawn Kris? How do you know all this? How can you possibly know?"

"Dude, there's a whole world out there you don't even know about. Things going on around you all the time you can't see. That's where I'm at. That's where we all are. Kris has an iffie too, an imaginary friend like me. And her iffie and me, we've been talking. Well...more than talking, actually. Truth is we've been flat out fuckin' for a while now and it's been great! It's been so great it was strong enough to send me back here to talk some sense into you. You gotta go for it, man! Do you want to fucking die alone? Cuz that's where you're headed if you don't get off your ass and do something about it. Kris is the one. I'm telling you she's the one. Make your play."

"How?"

"Just do it you chickenshit! Just do it. It doesn't even matter how. Just do it and maybe I'll be able to help you."

"But she's not really that attractive. I mean, she's OK I guess. But I'm not really that attracted to her."

"Look closer, dumbass! Who are you to be so choosy, anyway? Look closer. Sure, she dresses in all those layers and she doesn't really put much effort into her appearance most days. But it's in there I tell ya. She's got a body that'll surprise you. Look closer. Her face is pretty good too.. It's all there I tell ya, It's all there. Now go get it! She's got a shell you'll have to break through, but I guarantee it's worth it, man!"

*****************

"Kris, are you there?" Kris knew she was drowsy. It was the middle of the night, very early Monday morning actually, and she'd been sleeping only fitfully, drifting in and out in that space where the passage of time is uncertain. She knew she was not fully asleep, and also not fully awake, but she heard the voice. She knew that voice.

"Sissy? Sissy is that you?"

"Yes it's me. I'm back. It's OK. Don't be scared. I came back because you need me."

"I do? What's going on?... Well...I suppose maybe I do. Of course you must know. I haven't been doing so great lately. But is this OK? Am I crazy? I don't want to be crazy. I'm afraid if I talk to you that means I'm crazy."

"Were you crazy before? No. You just needed me is all. And you always kind of knew I wasn't real. I'm not real in your world. But I'm still real. And you need me, so I'm here for you."

"Yes I do, Sissy. I really fucking do need you. I'm a mess. My life is shit. All I do is work, and work is boring. I don't have a boyfriend. I barely have any friends at all. All I want to do is lay in bed and play with myself. I feel like I've just been treading water, and now I'm sinking. I am so fucking lonely!"

"I know, Kris, I know. That's why I'm here. It's OK. I promise you It's gonna be OK. I can help you. You can trust me. I may be imaginary but you know I'm your best friend. I will always be your best friend. I'm always with you, no matter what."

"I know. Thank you, Sissy. Thank you for being here for me. So what is it you have to tell me?"

"It's time, Kris, it's time now. The bad stuff is far in the past. You understand it wasn't you. You're stronger. You're strong enough now. It's time to let someone in."

"Are you sure? How can you know?"

"I'm sure. You're strong enough now that even if someone hurts you, you can get through it and get past it. It won't crush you like before. It's just scar tissue, and scar tissue makes you tougher. You can do this."

"You think so?"

"I know so. But the best part is you won't be alone. There's a really good guy that can help you, a guy that I know is right for you. He won't hurt you. Even if he makes a few mistakes---and he probably will---he won't really hurt you. You've got to take a chance now. You're not a kid anymore. You might not have a lot more opportunities, especially the way you've been going. This could be the one. He could be the one."

"Who? Who could be the one?"

"Clay. Clay Barnes."

"At work? That guy from Product Development?"

"Yes. That's him."

"How do you know?"

"Clay's got an iffie too. Not everybody has one, but for those who do, all of us iffies are together in our world. We can all talk to each other, but each of you can only talk to one of us. His iffie's name is Jay."

"Whoa. There's a whole separate world we can't see?"

"It's true. It's kind of like a spirit world, but we're here. I know it's hard to understand."

"So you're like in communication with Clay's spirit double? That's so weird...and so cool!"

"That's just how it is for us. But for you sometimes there can be a real bonus, like what I'm telling you today. I've been talking to Jay, Clay's iffie, and Kris, we really hit it off. I really like him. I mean

really

like him. And if I like Jay, that means you're almost certain to like Clay, once you get to know him."

"So you and Clay's iffie, like...I'm getting the feeling like you're more than friends?"

"Way more. Way, way more. One thing led to another and..."

"You didn't!"

"Oh yes I did! And Kris let me tell you it's been wonderful. It's been fucking fantastic! The best ever!"

"Sissy, you slut!"

"I'm not a slut, I'm you. And I need this for you. We need this. Jay's going to work on Clay, and I'm gonna work on you, and together we're going to make this happen for us, for all of us. Trust me, you won't be sorry."

"Oh my god." In that moment Kris realized that something might actually happen. In her silly little uneventful life, she thought it was just possible that something might actually happen.

*********************************

Clay knew he'd been in a rut. He knew he was starting to spiral down. At 27, he was five years into his first job and he already felt like he was heading nowhere. He was drinking too much, smoking too much weed, watching too much porn, and didn't really feel like doing anything else. "What's the point?" he thought. "What's the point in anything?" His college friends had all gone their separate ways after graduation. He hadn't made any real friends at work. He hadn't had a girlfriend in five years. He hadn't even been on a date in three.

Clay knew he had potential. At school he had won awards. His job was considered a plum position--at the time he'd landed it at least--even if from the inside it seemed far more routine and unexciting. Perhaps the only thing he had to show for his life up to now was that job. Since he didn't really do much outside of work, he had managed to not only pay off his loans, he'd also saved up about $150K. He figured that could be a downpayment for a house one day for himself and his (currently nowhere on the horizon) future wife.

By comparison, Kris might have seemed to have her life more together. At 26, she was three years out of school and was earning outstanding performance reviews. Thanks to help getting through school from her grandparents, she was debt-free with an excellent credit rating. She had two close friends. One was a friend from childhood now in a committed lesbian relationship. The other was a friend from high school who was recently married and now expecting.

Just months before, Kris had moved out of her parent's house for the first time to live on her own. She was excited to establish some independence, but to be honest, if it weren't for a little not-so-gently nudging, she might have stayed at home. Kris was not adventurous. She knew she had anxiety issues, but she had come a long way. She was still a virgin who had never had a boyfriend. There was definitely a part of her that wanted one. But an abuse incident when she was 12 had complicated things when it came to her feelings about sex.

Kris had been through therapy. She knew she'd made good progress. She was proud of how far she'd come, even though it had taken longer than she might have hoped. She wanted a boyfriend. She had felt for a while now like she might be ready for a boyfriend. But the problem was, having made it through both high school and college without all the experiences "normal" girls went through, she felt hopelessly far behind.

Her two close girlfriends knew she'd been abused. She wasn't raped, she was fondled by her pastor. It had taken years to sort out her feelings about the pleasure, guilt, shame, and confusion from those times. Her friends tried to be understanding. They didn't push her to get into anything with a guy before she was ready. But Kris also knew she was prone to self-pity, and her friends were starting to get impatient with her. They were moving on with their own lives. She was impatient with herself too, and then felt defeated by how hard it all seemed.

************************

Arriving at work on Monday morning Clay turned the corner and stepped quickly to catch the elevator before the doors could close. He made it, but only because a hand had reached out to stop the door.

"Thanks."

"No problem." It was Kris who had stopped the door.

Now Kris and Clay were the only two in the elevator on the ride up to the 6th floor, where they both worked. It struck them both immediately that they were now face to face with the very same person their imaginary counterparts had been pushing them towards earlier that same morning. They both fought for something to say, anything at all.

Kris found something first. "I hate when that happens...missing the elevator I mean, especially when there's somebody that could have let you on, but didn't."

"Yeah. Me too. Thanks again, Kris." Clay tried to smile sincerely, and was sure to use her name. He had spoken to her similarly a couple times before, but he wasn't sure he'd ever used her name directly to her face. He tried to look more closely, as Jay had told him to, but he had to be quick about it, before he turned to face the door.

While the elevator travelled up, Clay had a minute to silently reflect. Maybe Jay was right. Maybe she

was

better looking than he had noticed before. She always wore her hair pulled back, and he couldn't remember ever noticing what clothes she wore. She just never drew any kind of attention to herself. When the door opened on the 6th floor, he let Kris exit first, so he could look again. She had on her coat and he couldn't get much sense of her body, but it did seem very possible that Jay might be right about that too.

Kris noticed that Clay had used her name. His smile was kind, polite, friendly enough. Had his iffie already reached out to him too? Sissy had said Clay's iffie, Jay, would be "working on him." What did that mean, exactly? Sissy said she had a strong sexual connection with Jay. Was Jay talking about stuff like that with Clay too? Kris was glad she'd stopped the elevator, and glad she hadn't been completely tongue-tied, even though her stomach had been turning somersaults the whole time.

Kris felt a little extra charge at work starting that very day. It was like in addition to all her other senses, she now had "Claydar," an almost constant awareness of where Clay was in proximity to her, and what he might be doing. Like blips on a radar screen, she might lose the signal for a moment, and then "blip," there it was again. Clay. Right now he was over at the copy machine.

Clay wanted to look at her again, to study her. Jay said it was time to "make a move" on her, but how? When? Clay's basic orientation was to study a problem and then try to find a solution. So he set his mind to the problem of Kris. He figured out that when he was standing at the copy machine, he could get a sight line straight to her desk, but indirect enough so that she likely wouldn't even notice him looking.

Clay lifted the top part of the copier to sort of hide behind it while he looked at Kris. She was pretty the way the sunlight was hitting her just then. Her face looked relaxed, pleasant. She was facing her computer but it didn't look like she was doing anything, just kind of gazing off dreamily.

"Dude!"

Clay looked down at the glass on the copier. It was Jay.

"Dude, don't be a creeper! You're gonna fucking blow it, man. What are you, 14? Just go up and talk to her for Chrissakes!"

"I know. I will. I'm just trying to get a little more info, figure out the best way."

"Dude, this is not a problem you can solve. This is a girl, a woman. A woman is not a 'problem' you can solve with logic and analysis. Try it like that and you will fail every time. I guaran-fucking-tee it."

"So what then?"

"It's all about the experience, the feeling. I told you. Just fucking talk to her. It almost literally does not matter what you say. Do you hear me? It does. not. matter. It's about the feeling. Even if you say something completely fucking stupid, if the feeling is right, you're gonna be OK. And the feeling is this: You like what you know about her so far, and you would really like to get to know her better. That's it."

"But what if she doesn't like me?"

"If she doesn't like you, you're fucked. There's nothing you can do about it. You're not gonna change her mind or win her over or some Hollywood shit just because you have the perfect 'meet cute' or opening line. C'mon, you know this shit!. If it's a 'no,' you can change it up, give her time and then ask again, but that's not gonna be a problem here. I'm telling you. She's gonna like you. So just talk to her. Fucking dumbshit. I wonder why I bother."

"You're right."

"Of course I'm right."

"OK I'll go."

"Do it now."

"I'm going..."

Clay closed the lid on the copier and walked over to Kris' desk. He squatted down so he could be more face-to-face.

"Hi Kris."

"Hi Clay."

"Kris, I don't know how to say this so I'm just going to come right out and say it. Bumping into you in the elevator this morning just kind of sparked an idea with me. I've seen you around here for a while now and...well...are you seeing anybody right now?"

"No..." Kris could feel the lump in her chest.

"Great...I mean...what I'm trying to say is...I don't know you really all that well, but from what I do know I think you could be somebody really interesting. I'd like to get to know you better. So can I buy you lunch? Coffee? Whatever you'd like."

"Sure, Clay. I'd like that."

"Great! You want to do lunch today? We could go today, or some other time. Whatever is good."

"Well...I brought my lunch today, but...it doesn't matter. My tuna fish sandwich will keep. Sure. Let's go today."

"The cafe across the street? The closer we are the more time we'll have to talk."

"Sounds great."

"I'll swing by your desk at noon then. Noon?"

"I'll see you then, Clay."

"See you then."

Clay stood up and walked back to his desk, pretty happy with himself. That wasn't so bad, he thought. A little awkward but it was OK. Jay was right! She was even passing up the lunch she'd brought today to have lunch with him. That was a good sign! Now he just had to hope their lunch date went well.

Kris was happy. Things were happening. Things were moving! For the first time in almost two years, a guy had actually asked her out! Sissy was right. Kris was already starting to get nervous for lunch. She probably wouldn't be able to eat anything. She hoped she hadn't seemed too eager, too desperate, what with agreeing to today and telling him she'd brought her lunch and all. But fuck it. Sissy seemed to know something about this guy. Maybe this could be the start...

"So, Krissss...pardon me for asking, but what was THAT all about?" It was Barbara, an older lady in her work group who sat diagonal from and two desks behind Kris. Barbara was kind of a busybody, but in a motherly way. She reminded Kris of one of her mother's friends. She never saw Barbara outside of work, but at work, Barbara was probably her closest thing to a friend.

"What?"

"With Clay Barnes, just now. That looked...

interesting

."

"Oh that. He just wanted to talk is all. To set up a meeting. We were trying to set up a meeting."

"OK. Have it your way. But that looked a little more...interesting... than most meetings around here. I've been around, you know. And I'm right here if you want to talk. He is kinda cute."

"Sure, Barbara. I know. But it was nothing, really. You think he's cute?"

"Honey, if I was single and thirty years younger...I'd jump on that in a heartbeat!" Barbara laughed. Then Kris laughed too.

Kris and Clay's lunch date was...a little slow at first. They covered all the basics about work and family. No red flags were raised. Clay did let slip that he was saving up for a house. He asked her opinion about whether it would be better to buy a house as a single person, or wait and pick it out together once he found someone to settle down with. Kris wondered if there was a chance she might be that someone, but she didn't want to jump that far ahead yet.

Kris gave her honest opinion. "You never know. You might never find that person. Just from a financial standpoint it probably makes more sense to buy now. Your investment will probably only go up. And if you find that girl, and she doesn't like the house, you can always sell it and get a different one."

Clay liked that she was practical and down-to-earth. She really was nicer looking when you got up close and really talked to her. She had cute freckles across the bridge of her nose. And as much as the surface, Clay thought the inner Kris was also shining through and making her more attractive. They say the eyes are the windows to the soul. Her eyes were nice. Of course on a first lunch date he didn't try to stare deeply into them. But what really hit him was the sound of her voice.

Her voice just seemed to have a quality, something that reached inside him. It was like it communicated so much of who she really was, even more than the things she was saying. They talked about all the standard surface details you have to cover in getting to know someone, and that went fine. But all the really important communication seemed to be nonverbal.