Mine is a special story, and a long one too. You must be patient and be really interested to keep on reading. 22 is too old to have sex for the first time with a girl. That was my case. I was probably too shy and girls didn't seem to be attracted by me. In general, there were no places where young people could have sex at that time. So I had time to explore my own body. Masturbations, caresses, strokes, self-licking and so on. Yet, I've never been gay and it was only a sexual issue for me, I mean nothing sentimental.
But repeated masturbation soon became insufficient. I discovered I didn't appreciate only caressing my buttock and masturbating. So I tried all kinds of objects including vegetables. The idea of being fucked by a man never dawn on my mind. In the mentality there, a man fucks and isn't fucked. A boy who had passive sex was gay and condemned by society, a damnable sin. It was out of the question.so, I lost so much time!
There were friends of mine I found attractive sexually and that I wished to fuck because they looked somewhat feminine. I always imagined myself in the active part and I could kiss the on the mouth. Very much attracted but the masculine ass. But nothing of that sort ever occurred either. Being fucked by one of them had never been my wish at the time.
Then I remember, when I was as old as 26, a casual encounter came near, looking dizzy. He tried to touch my ass, joking at the same time. I knew he most likely wanted to fuck, or to have sex. This intention offended me greatly. "Does he take me for a gay, or what?" I abhorred the idea of getting near a cock. So, I reacted violently. I wish I had been more mature and wiser. At the time, I didn't even reflected on the matter. My desires for girls were probable stronger. So much time had elapsed in my life before I could touch a girl, I had to prove that I was a man first. I probably wanted to catch up. It'd have been my first time with a guy. Still today I don't understand how I could have discarded such an opportunity. Another time a guy followed me. He was driving and had stopped along my side and wanted us to meet. I was offended again and he came and knocked at my door. He talked to me behind the door and I told me I didn't want to meet him. I guess, there was something feminine in my youth which attracted men.
I got married and forgot about my inner and unvoiced desires until my wife got pregnant. For a short period of time, I found myself alone at home and strange desires woke up and thrived hard to be expressed. My fascination for a cock just popped up from nowhere. I realized that the prospect of holding one excited me, I wanted to suck, and to feel I'm been fucked. It was like a light coming down on me.
All that time had passed by and it was only at almost thirty that I finally accepted it would be great to be fucked, not with objects of all kinds but also using vegetables now, but by a real fleshy man's prick moving in and out by itself in my ass. But it was so difficult at the time to find someone willing to do that. I contacted by letter a young guy I had met during a bus trip, but unfortunately he didn't answer. I was desperate and had to rely on my objects, not even a dildo.
Time went by again. I met some other young guys but I was so clumsy that when I tried to go further I couldn't voice my desire, and each time I talked about fucking the guys thought I wanted to fuck them and refused. Though I had accepted the idea, I still couldn't voice it. I couldn't say I wanted to be fucked, and not to fuck.
Three or four years later, I got in touch with a guy older than me and we met in his office when it was closed to the public. I could for the first time have a cock in my mouth and I really enjoyed it. In fact, he wanted to be fucked. So I started fuck him hoping he would put his cock in me too. But after we had ejaculated at the same time, his prick went drooping and he couldn't fuck me. As time was running out we had to part. He just had no intention to fuck me. I was so disappointed, wondering when the day would come to feel a hot cock in my ass. Still, though I yearned to be fucked, I never I would kiss a man. My trend stayed a sexual issue, not sentimental.
Then little by little began my fantasy to see my wife being fucked. Maybe, it was also because I wanted to get near to a thick cock. Unfortunately, she's not the shy kind of wife but her strict education, without being religious made her a strict person in this field. She is naturally aggressive and has always got violent reactions to everything unconventional, and transgression of the least kind. Though she has a beautiful body and nice boobs, her outward appearance make of her the most ordinary person you could imagine, and you wouldn't see her if you weren't looking for her. Yet, after so years of marital life, I had managed to introduce porn films in our lives that we both enjoyed. Later, I even bought a dildo that we played with but that she found too big. And she blamed for not asking her advice as regards the size.
Yet, while watching our films, I had noticed that FFM relations made her wet, to the same extent as a penetration did. Maybe I should have tried to propose that choice first. But this subject was kind of taboo. She had always been so rude to men being gay that it was as hard for her to reveal the slightest tinge of homosexuality. We were younger when I proposed to swap. My pretence was to make her less jealous in general. So I told her but, no, she wouldn't. She couldn't understand this unnatural and abnormal behaviour of mine. She even rejected the idea violently. I think inwardly and involuntarily she had sworn she was not a deviant person, and had I known the proper way to bring her and us to may goal, I might have succeeded. But I so clumsy and awkward.
How often when she went out to a friend's, I imagined the friend's husband driving her home at sunset, and the discussion that would lead him to fuck her in the car in front of our house before she gets out. He had problems with his wife and we didn't know the reasons. So, I imagined the conversation he could have with her and that turned me on violently and I masturbated:
-You can't imagine where our problems come from!
-To tell you the truth, I have no idea at all, she replied.
-It's so stupid, he answered. I've never heard of such a thing.
-As what? she enquired.
-She doesn't want to have sex with me anymore, coz she says I'm too big! Too big? Have you ever heard of such a thing?
-No, I confess never. She replied.
-I don't know how other men are, but I can't understand. I'm really normal. I can assure you, he said playfully.
-Sure! Well may be you should try and go at it more gently.
-You know, I've been patient. And believe me I do take the necessary time.