My high school years were not good for me on a social and dating level. I only had one girlfriend for a few months and it was toxic. Our personalities kept rubbing and fighting each other's so we just had to bring an end to it. I never had many friends. I was not the jock everyone admired or the school wiz everyone turned to for homework help. I was just a nobody lurking in the shadows not wanted by anyone.
I had a neighbor who lived a few doors down from me I ended up finding attraction to. Her name was Lexus. She was a 33 year old immigrant of Southern European descent waiting for her US citizenship. She had a deep accent and was a very kind lady. She was a short woman, only maybe 5'1". Despite her short stature, she was mighty in her own way. She ended up divorcing her husband who was negligent of her and for a woman, she was muscular from her gym workouts, toned, and very sexy. It might have been my own lustful mind but when she asked me to help her out with chores and looking over her cat when she was gone sometimes on weekends, I accepted it and ended up helping her completely renovate her house and spending more days then not eating dinner at her place as she always had something to do and often cooked for me in light of my parents working late. She was an excellent cook and could fix you up just about anything. We had what could be argued as a friendship but I definitely felt the boundaries of it. She wasn't one to discuss private affairs, much about politics, or future plans. Maybe it was just a guarded area for her or she didn't want to discuss them with me for other reasons. Being the horny teenager I was, I was just itching to get into her pants but it was doubtful it would happen.
During the summer after my senior year before I vacated the home for college, I spent it working in the heat outdoors helping Lexus with her gardening as we assembled and built a massive garden that would grow all sorts of foods such as cabbage, carrots, and corn.
Towards the middle of the summer, my desire for her was falling out of my locus of control and in my deep thought, I wrote her a lustful love letter I wanted to give her. I couldn't bring myself to do it as I feared her finding it repulsive or even offensive but one day, I had no choice.
***
It's nearing August as I finish helping Lexus on this warm, Friday afternoon. We had assembled a section of her garden and filled it with pot soil. I sit down with her on the patio cooling off with towels soaked in cold water and Gatorade as it goes into evening time.
"Well done, Tyler." She says in her accented voice.
"Thank you, ma'am." I state back to her.
I can't help but to look her up and down. Despite her being sweaty, her tanned skin and beautiful physique arouses me.
She then stands up and I rise with her.
"I need a shower. Feel free to use mine or go home but I do want to make you dinner." She offers.
"You've outdone yourself, ma'am." I explain.
She smiles. "Don't worry about it. I like having a good man in my home again."
I follow her inside her home through the back door. I sit on the bar stool in the kitchen and my wallet pushes on my butt and I remember the letter I wrote tucked in it. She follows inside and shuts the door behind her.
"I'm using the shower. Just be clean by seven and I'll cook." She explains.
"Great." I grin.
She smiles back and I watch as she walks into the master bedroom flaunting her ass in skin tight athletic shorts and walking to the bathroom not shutting the doors oddly.
I dismiss it and I get the letter out of my wallet as I hear the shower water turn on. I turn it over gently with it folded up into quarters with her name written in cursive on the front of it. I feel the anxiety creeping into me but I know that I need to give it to her. I stand up and shove my wallet back down in my pocket holding the letter in my hand and sit down as I ponder how to introduce and give her the letter. I'm so stressed, I jump at the sound of something hitting the tile from the bathroom.
I walk closer to the bedroom right next to the door.
"Are you okay, Lexus?" I call out to her over the shower.
"Fine. Just dropped something." She states.
"Okay." I accept.
I then notice I'm pretty close to her bathroom door swung wide open and I see some of the steam flowing out of the door into her room. I can't help but feel the desire building in me that had been repressed for a lot of time now. I quietly tip over to the edge of the door and I tilt my head just barely in to where I can see. I see the shower with the hot water spraying out of the nozzle. I look down to see Lexus standing away from me washing her jet black hair with her back towards me. I can see her bare skin from top to bottom with her ass visible but the rest of it is a blur from the steaming water. I watch her carefully as I feel the tension building in me to a point it almost hurts. Suddenly, she turns around and for a split second, we make eye contact.
No time to think. I dash out of there probably faster than ever, through the kitchen, and out the front door in probably 3 seconds. I don't stop as I book it back to my house a few doors down. I stand in my driveway, panting with my hands on my knees as I come to grips with that I probably ruined our friendship and any chances I had with her. I then look around and I don't have the letter anywhere. I must have dropped it.
My heart drops as I dread the worst and curse myself over letting it slip out of my hands as it probably is laying on the rug in her bedroom. I almost feel like crying that I messed up. I calm down and then go inside to wash up from the hard day's work.
Later in the night, I get a text message on my phone.
I open it and it's from Lexus. It reads: "Please, come back when you can."
My heart jumps in my throat as I fear the worst but I know I must face my fear and the person I desire if I am to be a man. "I can be back over tomorrow at lunch probably 12." I answer back.
She never responds. For the rest of the night, my anxiety consumes me as I fear the worst for what happens tomorrow. Even if she hates me, I must own what I did and what I wrote her if she even read it.
***
