This story is an edit and re-name of 'Bowling Matty Over', published 16
th
February in Mature category. It alludes to characters in my story 'Autumn Flowers', also in Mature category.
'I'm sorry Matty, I forgot that you had said that you wanted to ask me something. Do you still need to ask me, or has the question been answered?'
Matthew, or Matty, was driving me home from work one day, as he'd often done. I'm Jenny, and I sometimes work at the garden where Matty is employed.
We'd been talking about courses at the local further education college or university that specialised in all subjects relating to environmental science. I was interested in getting more qualified, and he was telling me about his own studies.
'No, only you can answer it,'... pause, 'It's difficult to talk about,' ... another pause and he was gripping the steering wheel unnecessarily hard and chewing his bottom lip. 'The thing is I'm 19, and I'm still a virgin.'
He looked relieved to have got that off his chest.
'Well that's not so unusual is it? You're not exactly on the shelf yet!' I tried to sound reassuring.
'No, of course not, but I just don't seem to get on with girls in a way that will let the relationship develop. I don't even get to first base.'
'So what are you asking me?' I was intrigued, but a bit concerned as to what was coming, although I thought I could guess.
'Do you know anything about cricket?' I nodded, surprised by this; it seemed a massive non-sequitur. 'Well, if you're trying to teach a player how to bat, an experienced player might start by bowling underarms at them.' I burst out laughing.
'So you'd like me to bowl a few sexual underarms at you?'
By this time we'd reached the end of my road and pulled up. I put an arm round a very pink Matty, who wouldn't look at me. 'Matthew I've got to admire your nerve. I can't understand why you haven't conquered female flesh somewhere along the line, but if you think I can help yes, I could probably bowl you a few underarms. I think there's enough room in our back garden, but you've got to play a straight bat, and you've got to retire when I say you're out.' I was having difficulty keeping a straight face, his face was so pink and earnest. But I mustn't mock.
'I didn't mean....' He stopped as he realised I was teasing. 'Will you really?'
'I'll have a go. Come round to my house around half past seven; and please walk. I don't want the neighbours starting a chain of gossip about the merry widow.'
So that was how I came to be bowling underarms to dear Matty, teaching him about birds and bees in the best possible way - by practical demonstration.
*
I let Matty quietly in the front door, and hung his coat up, then took him straight up to the back bedroom. On another occasion I might have poured us a drink in the front room where I'd left the lights on, but I didn't want to give him the opportunity for cold feet, bearing in mind his past.
'You really are a very attractive young man,' I said to him as we stood facing each other beyond the end of the bed. 'You mustn't think yourself as anything but an equal to any of your potential girlfriends. But equally, if you start picking holes and thinking she's in some way inferior, then call it off. Above all never feel desperate - if you start feeling that way you'd better come and see Aunty Jenny! Now, put your arms round me; don't try to get too close or squeeze. Quite slowly, move your head to kiss me on both cheeks and the forehead. Tell me what you think of my eyes.' He looked carefully.
'They are nice and clean,' he said very seriously. I stopped myself giggling - with great difficulty.
'Yes dear, but I was really hoping to hear something a bit more romantic and complimentary. What colour are they?' He looked again very closely.
'I think they are a sort of grey-brown,' my suitor informed me.
'I was thinking of something along the lines of "You have beautiful big brown eyes" said in a sort of dreamy way, not as if you were reading it off a cheap birthday card.' He tried it, and it certainly was an improvement.
'Now I want you to start moving your hands gently up and down my back. This is stroking not rubbing: you're not drying a small child who's just come out of the bath; think of it as stroking a cat or other animal that has soft, silky fur. Go down no further than the very top of my buttocks, which are here.' I took his hand and placed it on the coccyx. 'You can go up as far as you like, but don't mess her hair up - yet.'
At this point I began to realise I'd taken on a mammoth task, but he followed instructions, and I was quite enjoying having my back rubbed. In fact I wouldn't have minded if it went on longer, but I thought he might get a bit impatient; nineteen-year-olds with but a single thought in mind, were not the most patient creatures. I moved on.
'Now I want you to pull us together. If you are winning your partner will come easily.' I gave Matty a gentle return hug.
'Now hover your lips close in front of hers. With a bit of luck your lips will come together. Lower your hands now and spread them over the buttocks, then try to move the fabric of the skirt gently up and down, so that you are stroking again, using the skirt as you might a soft glove. If the bum is clad in tight trousers or jeans use your fingernails to scratch it. By this time hopefully you'll be able to gently slide your tongue a tiny way through her lips, and then let her take charge. Curiously, some people never get used to French kissing even if they're happy to fuck, so don't force an entry.
I stopped talking as we joined mouths and I let him come a little way in with his tongue before I took over and got a bit more vigorous. We had a rewarding kiss; he'd taken the trouble to use a mild mouthwash, and his vigorous response took me back nearly forty years, when I was learning the game as an excited teenager. I broke away and told him he was a lovely kisser: it was good, and I'd enjoyed it.