"So, who's it gonna be - Mike or Dave?" Ellie wanted to know.
I peered closer at my reflection in the mirror, pretending to perfect my lipstick. They were the only two guys who'd shown any interest. Nice enough - but I hadn't felt any chemistry.
Ellie, on the other hand, had been spoiled for choice. As soon as we'd taken our places down by the pool, the good-looking guys had flocked to her. I'd hoped they'd flock to me too - that we'd play the field as a double act - but I was simply eclipsed. Ellie turned every head - a tall, willowy blonde with big breasts and a bubbly confident laugh. They scarcely noticed the flat-chested brunette next to her.
"And what about you?" I asked, ignoring her question. "You're going with Jordan?"
She nodded - unembarrassed, supremely confident. "Yeah, he's totally my type."
Jordan certainly was Ellie's type. She had a 'thing' for hyper-muscled jocks - and he was certainly one of those. She'd lost her virginity to the school rugby captain and then, after he'd moved on to his next conquest, had sought her revenge by sleeping with the rest of the squad. (Not that Josh Stevenson had cared, or even noticed.)
"So, come on Lucy - Mike or Dave? Who's it gonna be?" Ellie looked at me pointedly.
I pushed nervously at my hair, trying to inject some life into the mousy brown strands, hoping I could think of a way to change the subject. But Ellie wasn't going to let it go.
"I... I... I... dunno," I stammered, my face flushing bright red. "I mean... I'm just not feeling it with either of them."
Ellie rolled her eyes.
"Oh, come on!" she sighed despairingly. "Don't tell me you're chickening out. Just get yourself drunk, get into bed with one of them - it'll be over before you know it. Then you won't be the only virgin at university!"
"But I just don't want a one-night stand," I wailed. "I want something meaningful - even if we are only here for a week."
"But that's the whole point of a holiday romance," she growled in exasperation. "It's meaningless - meaningless sex! You won't even remember the guy's name once you're back home."
"But I don't want that," I complained. "I've still gotta like the guy - I want, I want..." I struggled for the words, "...meaningful, meaningless sex."
Even I knew how ridiculous that sounded. Ellie gave a snort of derision and headed out the door. I followed behind as we clattered our way down the stairs in our heels. The boys would be ready - we'd have kept them waiting.
In truth, Ellie's attitude was understandable. Despite the closeness of our friendship, we'd had very different degrees of success with the opposite sex. She'd had two steady boyfriends in the past two years and had played the rest of the field pretty comprehensively; I'd simply watched on - part-horrified, part-jealous. That was something I bitterly regretted now - all the cool guys had lost interest and the nice boys were well settled - it was only the creeps that remained.
We reached the lobby. There were about a dozen guys waiting - all British, mostly university students on vacation, although I suspected a few were older than they claimed. All were wearing white shirts, their hair spiked with gel. The room reeked of cheap aftershave, which barely covered the heavy stench of testosterone. The sharks were assembled, ready for the hunt.
Dave made a beeline for me, getting in early to stake his claim - sending the signal to Mike and anyone else who might try their luck with me. He danced around me as we walked to the first bar, trying rather too hard to keep my attention - it was all a bit suffocating. The smell of desperation is so off-putting.
I knew the Strip would be big - bigger than anything I'd seen before - but, even so, the intensity still overwhelmed me. That combination of alcohol, summer heat and being a thousand miles from home, brought out the very worst in everyone. It was louder, brighter, bassier than anything I'd imagined - and not in a good way.
I made the mistake of accepting a drink from Dave at the first place we got to. That was foolish - for the rest of the night he acted as if we were engaged - fawning over me, holding his hand around my waist, trying desperately to kiss me, becoming ever more animated as I tried to show my disinterest. I'd seen Ellie accept drinks from 'no-hopers', only to dismiss them with a casual flick of the hand and a look of distain. How I wished I could pull off the same trick.
Dave remained in orbit around me all evening. We did dance, but I had to push his hands away a couple of times, when they got too low or too high. We sat on the side lines, watching through the melee of bodies as Ellie and Jordan shoved their tongues down each other's throats. Mike had quickly found someone else - I felt a mild sense of regret - maybe I could have imagined getting into bed with him by the end of the week. But judging by the way he and his squeeze were grinding together, I knew he wasn't the guy for me.
Dave and I left with Ellie and Jordan around two in the morning, just as the partying was hitting its stride. It was inevitable that she'd invite Jordan back - she hoped that would push me into going with Dave, but I was exhausted - and my feet were killing me. Sex was the last thing on my mind; any interest in 'my guy' was long gone. I let him kiss my cheek as we said goodnight and watched him die inside when I failed to return the favour. I felt cruel and exploitative - but I wasn't going to rush into anything - and certainly not his bed.
-
I slept fitfully - the lumpy couch made sure of that. I'd let Ellie and Jordan have the twin bedroom - and from the grunts and shrieks that penetrated the paper-thin walls of our self-catering apartment, they'd made full use of their 'privacy'. No sooner had they left off, than other couples around us started up. Everyone was doing it - except me.
By half seven, the sun was streaming through the sliding glass doors that led out to our balcony. There'd be no chance of getting more shut eye. I was going to have to amuse myself until Ellie surfaced - maybe that wouldn't be till lunchtime.
I dragged myself over to the kitchenette, filled a glass with water and carried it out to the balcony. Beneath me, the pool area was deserted - bar a solitary maintenance guy poking around in one of drains. I toyed with the idea of going down for an early sunbathe, but decided on balance I'd feel a little exposed without my schoolfriend for backup.
Restlessly, I wandered back into the sitting room, trying to work out what to with my morning. I spied my sketch pad, half-buried in my suitcase. Yes, that was it - I'd take a walk up on top of the cliffs and do some drawing. I'd planned to do some anyway, to reassure my parents that I wasn't going to spend all my time getting drunk and getting laid. But now, I had a couple of hours to produce something half-decent. With any luck, an hour's walk would tire me out and I'd come back and sleep some more.
I found a set of steep, uneven steps that took me up the hill behind the hotel towards the headland. As I climbed, I felt myself relax. Perhaps that was my problem - I'd been on edge since I got on the plane. The pressure I'd placed on myself to lose my virginity was destroying my sense of fun. Not that I was regretting coming to Spain - the cosy rented cottage in Cornwall with Mum and Dad had never appealed. This was my first holiday without my parents and I was determined to make the most of it.
Dad hadn't wanted me to go on vacation with Ellie - we'd argued about it several times. He'd wanted us to have a last family holiday together, so he could keep his eye on me for a few months longer, until I went off to university. But I'd insisted, put my foot down. It was my money - I'd earned it - and I was going to decide how to spend it.
The one part of the plan I'd given quarter on, was the choice of hotel. Dad had made sure that we were as far away from the Strip, with its bars and clubs, as possible. We had a self-catering apartment with a twin bedroom in a complex with its own pool and private beach. It was expensive, but everything we needed was on site - no need to venture into the horrors of the town.
Perhaps I shouldn't blame my parents. I was the youngest of four and the only girl - it was natural they'd be a little more protective of me. Growing up, I'd always had the earliest bedtime, the earliest curfew of any of my friends. And I'd always played the baby of the family. When my schoolmates were getting their first boyfriends, I'd stayed aloof, wanting to take my time choosing, wanting to make my suitors work for my hand. That was something I deeply regretted now - I'd missed the boat back home.
My virgin status had gnawed at me - for at least the past year. I was torn between the high moral values instilled in my upbringing and the rawest urges of my teenage body. That's why we'd agreed - Ellie and I - we were going away to get the deed done, away from watchful eyes and sharpened noses. This was where I'd cast off the shackles of childhood with my first kiss and more.
Up on the clifftop I walked for maybe twenty minutes, until the resort town had disappeared from view behind me. Open fields stretched out - a few goats and sheep were grazing on the sunburnt gorse. To my right there was a steep drop to the sea.
I settled down against a rock, looking out over the bay beneath me. There was not a soul to be seen. I spotted a small island, maybe half a mile away - that would be as good as any subject. I took a few photos with my phone, messaged them to my parents, then pulled out my pad and began to draw.
A little while later I was weighing up whether I should go back, or if I should find a new place to sit and sketch some more. I'd been enjoying the quiet solitude of the morning, compared to the heaving shark pit the previous night. I'd made a couple of rough drawings, one of which was turning into something a little more 'finished'. The hotel would be properly waking up now - if I didn't get back to the room soon, I'd risk bumping into Dave on the stairs.
I turned to pack my pencils away in my rucksack. Standing a few metres behind me, ears pricked, watching me intensely, was a dog. I hadn't heard him approach - how long had he been there?
I hesitated. I'd heard all sorts of horror stories about rabies in feral animals, but he seemed friendly enough and well cared for. I wanted to reach out and stroke him, but I didn't want to take the risk.
The dog came towards me slowly. He was a beautiful colour - a light fawn. I didn't recognise the breed; his fur was a little darker than a golden retriever's, but he had those same intelligent eyes as a border collie. I stayed still as he sniffed at me, hoping I wouldn't provoke a bite.
